ThomWV
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:08 PM
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Rules For Movies To Avoid |
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Here is my first rule for movies to avoid. If a machine gun can be seen or heard anywhere in the movie it is one to be avoided.
What is your first rule?
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warrior1
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:09 PM
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coloradodem2005
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:11 PM
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2. If it is mushy and does not look at all funny. |
EstimatedProphet
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:12 PM
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Just got back from Harry Potter, and the idjits were out in force WITH 5 Y.O. KIDS, the Prophetess and I had to sit through a continual barrage of "wazzat mama? waz goin on?" etc. and the ever-popular seat kicking by the kids, bacause after all, the parents arelly aren't in control...
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Khephra
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:13 PM
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4. If the previews start out with a deep voiced man saying.... |
terrya
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:14 PM
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5. If the special effects drive the movie, avoid it like the plague. |
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Special effects are great, but they should not be the SOLE reason to see it.
Hear that, Roland Emmerich?
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Ediacara
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:14 PM
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DoctorBombay
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:15 PM
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7. Directed by Renny Harlin |
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Run screaming from the theater.
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NightTrain
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:17 PM
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8. If it stars an ex-cast member of "Saturday Night Live," or... |
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Edited on Sat Jun-12-04 07:22 PM by NightTrain
...if it has a former Brat Packer (Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe) in it. Sole exception: Ally Sheedy, who has done some really good films since she hit her 30s. If you haven't already done so, check out AUTUMN HEART some time! :thumbsup:
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Mr. Blonde
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Sat Jun-12-04 09:07 PM
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24. No Mike Meyers Movies? Really? n/t |
NightTrain
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Sat Jun-12-04 10:27 PM
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34. Whoops! Forgot about Meyers. |
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Well shit, every rule has its exception! :hi:
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troublemaker
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:18 PM
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9. More than two screenplay credits |
Endangered Specie
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:18 PM
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10. Starring: Bruce Willis |
Endangered Specie
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:19 PM
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They REALLY screw those types of movies up.
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NightTrain
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:21 PM
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Edited on Sat Jun-12-04 07:24 PM by NightTrain
The title ends in a Roman numeral (unless it's Kenneth Branagh interpreting Shakespeare).
It's a big-screen version of a TV show I never watched--or, in some cases, even one I did.
It stars Keanu Reeves, The Rock, Sylvester Stallone, or Steven Seagal.
It's named after a popular song, particularly one I never liked.
It stars a popular singer, particularly one I never liked.
It's based on a video game.
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rocktivity
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:29 PM
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And I'd like to add Vin Diesel to Night Train's list--he's worn out his welcome already.
:headbang: rocknation
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Suspicious
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:42 PM
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14. If the promotional poster or DVD jacket |
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has four or more teens, in front of a dark backdrop, all staring off in different directions with exaggerated expressions of solemnity or horror.
If the title of the film is depicted as dripping blood, it's double bad.
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Downtown Hound
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Sat Jun-12-04 07:59 PM
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15. Anything with "Van Helsing" in the title |
quinnox
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:36 PM
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NashVegas
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:23 PM
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16. Someone Says "You HAVE to See it on the Big Screen to Enjoy the Effects" |
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like that's the main reason for seeing it on the big screen.
Second rule:
Contains one or more of the following actors:
Gary Busey Stephen Sagall The Rock David Spade
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Taverner
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:38 PM
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18. Tom Hanks + Meg Ryan = Horrible Movie |
Rainstorm
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:42 PM
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19. Like in some other movies..... |
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It has a monkey as the leading character.
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AVID
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:44 PM
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quinnox
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:45 PM
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21. movies that are too popular |
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Edited on Sat Jun-12-04 08:49 PM by quinnox
I think most of the time the most popular movies are usually crap, I don't know why this phenomenon exists but I have noted it more than once. Now this doesn't mean there are no good really popular movies because there have been plenty, just that I see a red flag when a movie is tooo popular in terms of box office and hype.
Another that I avoid are what I call 'womans movies', these are hard to define but I know them when I see them.
Actors I don't like include almost all the young stars of today, with the exception of Russell Crowe. I also disliked Tom Cruise for a long time (however he can act I admit) but I will still see the movie of most actors as long as the movie looks interesting, unless it has Leonardo Di Caprio in it, I can't stand him in movies. Same with Ben Affleck, although I admit Good Will Hunting was a great movie.
I forgot to add that I avoid movies about serial killers consistently, and unfortunately Hollywood loves to pump this tired old plotline movie out every other week. That said, 'Seven' was a great movie and a rare exception.
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No2W2004
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:50 PM
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1)Based on SNL sketches
2)National Lampoon's.......
3) Stars a wrestler
4) The trailer has more explosions than dialogue
5) Kids, teenagers, or talking rats
6) Rob Schnieder is the.......
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baldguy
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Sat Jun-12-04 08:51 PM
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23. Directed by Alan Smithee |
Rabrrrrrr
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Sat Jun-12-04 09:08 PM
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25. If it has Tom Cruise, is directed by Ron Howard, or has a pop singer |
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who's in the film just because he/she is a pop musician and the producers know he/she will bring in the idiots, and the pop singer isn't playing the role of him/herself at a club that the cast goes to or something like that.
Also avoid any movie in which the phrase "to save the world" or "the world will end tomorrow" or anything else involving the world ending.
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Mr. Blonde
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Sat Jun-12-04 09:10 PM
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26. A heartwarming story about... |
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It is truly amazing how much sugar can be poured on to some of these stories.
J.Lo
In defense of straight to video, some of them are good, but come out at the wrong time, and are then shelved for too long to go to theaters.
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chaska
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Sat Jun-12-04 09:14 PM
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27. Mines similar. No guns on the video cover. Exception: Rob Roy. |
Mr. Blonde
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Sat Jun-12-04 09:16 PM
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28. What about Pulp Fiction? |
TexasBushwhacker
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Sat Jun-12-04 09:29 PM
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29. Remakes of GREAT films |
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They're almost always a disappointment. Recent example - Planet of the Apes.
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Gildor Inglorion
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Sat Jun-12-04 10:08 PM
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30. Any movie starring Jake Busey or Daniel Baldwin |
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you just know it's gonna REEK.
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Gildor Inglorion
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Sat Jun-12-04 10:09 PM
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31. Ooops! I meant Gary Busey *blush* |
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Too many Milwaukee's Best lights...time to go to bed!
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bikebloke
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Sat Jun-12-04 10:18 PM
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Edited on Sat Jun-12-04 10:19 PM by caledoni
Who ever invented previews is a saint. I've never been able to stomach an Adam Sandler trailer. Merde, to think they show entire Adam Sandler films in Abu Graib. Those poor, poor Iraqis.
Edit: The surest spell check is to click: POST.
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stavka
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Sat Jun-12-04 10:26 PM
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33. Machine guns?...you would miss. |
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The Godfather All Quiet on the Western Front Slaughter House Five Shindler's List Swimming to Cambodia Catch-22 etc.....
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zbdent
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Sat Jun-12-04 10:33 PM
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35. Your church is renting buses to take you to see it |
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