I may never grill again... I nearly burned down the porch tonight.

[MallRat]

Damn... I let too much grease collect in the drip tray underneath and forgot to clean it out. I finish grilling and crank up the gas to high to clean it off.

5 minutes later, I walk back outside to brush off of the grill, only to find flames shooting out from under the grill! The drip pan is a flaming cauldron of beef and chicken fat!

First things first- TURN OFF THE GAS. Mission accomplished.

Then I run inside and grab an oven mitt and some baking soda (never put water on a grease fire, my Mom always said).

With my hand well-protected by the handiwork of my friends at Linens 'n' Things, I start to lift the lid of the grill. Bad idea. Like a scene out of "Backdraft," flames shoot out of the half-opened grill and singe a perfectly good $5 oven mitt.

I drop the slightly toasted oven mitt and back away. The lid slams shut. With this little scene, I've now gotten my neighbors' attention, and in a manner that I imagine was oddly reminiscent of the Kitty Genovese murder, they watch with oddly detached horror at the events unfolding in my backyard.

OK. Time to reassess.

Using the burnt oven mitt, I gingerly slide the fiery drip pan out from underneath the grill, and liberally apply half a box of Arm and Hammer. Now, with that fire out, I slowly, SLOWLY open the lid of the grill to find the flames starting to die down. I left it open until the fire finally went out, a couple minutes later.

Casualties: one oven mitt, half a box of baking soda, and a good deal of my masculinity.

To do list:
1. Clean out the drip tray.
2. Take out the gratings and drip bars and give them a good rinsing.
3. Never use the grill when my neighbors are watching EVER, EVER AGAIN.

My wife won't mind if I barbecue at 3am, right?

-MR

[Deja Q]

1. Get one of these...

So you don't end up with one of these...

[MallRat]

3. All right. I know I'm going to regret asking this...

...but what is that thing in the second photo?

-MR

[Deja Q]

5. Here's a hint...

They're great as smores... just be sure to get proper chocolate and graham crackers, I didn't have any so I used chocolate powder ovaltine and triscuits... still yummy though. O8)

[MallRat]

9. Oh my god. YOU'RE BARBECUING PEEPS!

How can you be so... heartless?

Actually, I'm fine with it. But my wife is fanatical about Peeps. If she saw this photo, she'd probably resort to violence to protect her precious marshmallow animals.

:-)

And purple? Yecch. Real Peeps purists stick with the yellow chicks. White bunnies are acceptable.

-MR

[Sagan]

2. okay, maybe this is insensitive but...

"The lid slams shut. With this little scene, I've now gotten my neighbors' attention, and in a manner that I imagine was oddly reminiscent of the Kitty Genovese murder, they watch with oddly detached horror at the events unfolding in my backyard."

Best line of the day!

[amazona]

7. agreed

Is it the wine or are there an awful lot of hilarious posts here lately???

[havocmom]

4. MallRat, are you my brother-in-law, Flame thrower Sanford?

Cuz your story sounds like something he would do. Did I tell you the one about him cooking the turkey at 800 degrees? How about the fireworks story with the sheriff's helicopter?

[MallRat]

11. Nope. There's no monopoly on macho stupidity.

But you've got to tell me about the 800 degree turkey. What exactly was the logic behind that idea? Char the outside, while leaving the meat completely raw inside?

:-)

-MR

[Don_G]

6. Holy Shit!!!!

Do you have any idea of how explosive Propane is????

Clean it out---cold---and do it along with your mowing the lawn or something else you do on a weekly schedule.

Keep a cheap fire extinguisher handy too.

[MallRat]

10. The tank was nowhere near the fire.

But point well taken. I really ought to do a better job of staying on top of cleaning out the drip tray so that this doesn't happen again.

And I'll keep my fire extinguisher handy, too.

-MR

[1monster]

8. And the WINNAH of the Crankshaft High Flaming Grill Award is

MallRat.

[Richardo]

12. Add number 4: Never get off the boat.

:)

[EstimatedProphet]

13. Here's your problem!

NEVER grill with gas! Charcoal won't explode like that. All the drippings immediately burn off so they won't build up to a dangerous level.

[mrboba1]

14. One word:

charcoal grill.


oh. make that 2 words.

[commander bunnypants]

15. Me too last night

but I only use charcoal. I used the already doused with lighter fluid charcoal last night but of course I douse it again. Due to a storm I am grilling in the carport. The flames were licking the roof. Made me nervous.

DDQM

[mrboba1]

16. AAACK!

Don't double douse! Danger, danger!!

:)

[Richardo]

17. If you used liquid oxygen you wouldn't have that nasty grease buildup

...or a house. But your charcoal would be ready in 3 seconds! :thumbsup:



http://ep.llnl.gov/msds/Chem120/lox-oxidation.html

[MallRat]

18. George Goble!

What an insane man. It looks like Purdue made him remove his website... I guess they didn't want to assume any liability.

I wonder why?

[Richardo]

19. The Dave Barry column on Goble is a classic...

...empty your mouth before your read it or you'll just get your monitor all messy.

http://www.discoverchemistry.com/dcv2-docroot/student/fun_stuff/quick_barbecue/barrybbq.html