Suggestions for a girl situation?

[HEyHEY]

Okay, so I met this girl a few months ago at our company's big piss-up. At the time she was working in a small town and she recently got a new job in Vancouver. We hung out briefly a few times at the thing and had some fun (except I fucked up when she wanted to dance and I turned her down). Anyway, we said we'd keep in touch and about three weeks after she emailed me outta the blue to see how I was doing. Since, we've been emailing back and forth and we've planned to hook up in Vancouver. Her emails could be taken in that way, but I'm not sure.
I'm interested in this girl, and think it may be mutual, but I'm not sure. Either way, I am about to suggest we hook up in Vancouver to do something in a couple weeks when I'm down there.
So, any suggestions? I don't want something that screams "DATE!" something subtle where I could gage the situation a little better. Because if she isn't interested, I'd still like to be friends. She's a reporter, sharp as a knife and funny as hell.

ANy ideas?

[Taverner]

1. Meet for coffee

Non-threatening, lots of conversation, not date per-se but can easily be adjusted as to such...

Coffee is ALWAYS a good call!

[Maestro]

2. I don't know the area

but play it cool. No big deal. Hook up with, take her to a museum, an art show, a movie, whatever. Be friends and see where it goes. I doubt e-mail will tell you much but if she got in touch with you, then she is wondering the same thing you are.

[oregonjen]

3. I agree

If she got in touch with you, she's interested!

[HEyHEY]

4. That's what I was thinking because...

SHe's not from Vancouver - I am...so a "tour" of a part of the city is a great idea

[amerikat]

5. learn to dance

ya never know.

[HEyHEY]

10. Yeah that was a mistake

See, she asked if I wanted to dance and I said "Well the thing is, I have to go to the bathroom"
She interrupted (laughing)
"And you're too lazy to do that?"
I said "yes" because it sounded better than saying there was an awfully scaring looking group of guys outside the washroom. :-)

[Bhaisahab]

33. dude- "i have to go to the bathroom"??!

what was the matter with ya? that's the worst possible way to turn down an attractive lady who wants to dance! :)

[HEyHEY]

34. But I did!

I was just being honest.... a fuck it..*slams head into keyboard* yes, it was dumb

[President Jesus]

41. "sorry, can't dance right now. I gotta take a hairy shit. You see the..

...shitter anywhere 'round here?"

yelling across the room: "Anyone know where a guy can take a healthy shit around here?"

That will get you in her pants every time.

[NMDemDist2]

6. coffee... leads to lunch then dinner later

movie (or botanical garden or zoo is better) then coffee again tomorrow?


coffee is always safe to start, if she's working dinner

but do a zoo or garden or something fun, not lameo "clubs or movie" thing

boatrides are nice too....

[Poiuyt]

7. Ask her what to do in Vancouver

If you're going there soon, ask her if there is anything fun to do. Try to hint that you need a guide to the city. It sounds to me that she would like to get together with you

[HEyHEY]

8. haha - she'd see right through that! _ SHe knows I grew up there!

;-) Actually I was thinking the reverse would be cool. SHe's not from there, so I give her a little tour

[Poiuyt]

14. Reverse works well, too

Do you know any spots that the tourists don't know about yet? Offer to take her to some of Vancouvers hidden treasures.

[HEyHEY]

15. Sounds about right!

(Insert obvious obligatory "like the back seat of my car" joke here)

But yeah I was thinking there could be some cool places, not sure where yet...must think.

[Poiuyt]

18. Research my friend

Time to go to the library and find a book on "Vancouver's Hidden Treasures!"

[Race4Peace]

36. "yeah...

I just got a new suspension installed a few days ago. It bounces really well.";)

[PragMantisT]

9. Something touristy

Like a museum or boat trip. Or a nice view. If she's new in Vancouver, there's probably something touristy that the locals scoff at that a newbie would like. Plus if it's touristy, you're doing it together, not necessarily as a date. Make sure there is some coffee afterwards. Maybe make up for the not dancing by going dancing. Make a joke about wanting to be the one who asks; play off the not dancing when she asked at your previous meeting.

Have fun.

[LastKnight]

11. take her to F911... its not exactly a date movie...

on second thought, dont, getting political too early is probably not a good idea... anyway.

hmm... this is a tough one. they always are, just a light meal or somethin like that, dont spend too much, but offer to pay anyway. and if youre gonna see a movie, see a non-romantic comedy if its possible, as little romance as possible in it if you see one. the anchorman might work, opening this weekend.

anyway, my 2 cents.

-LK

[fujiyama]

35. LOL

about to suggest the same thing. This way you can see if the girl is liberal enough to stay with! ;-)

[Parrcrow]

12. Come right out and ask her for a date, HeyHey

If you're interested in her, why keep it a secret. Its not a commando raid. There's no point to being on a date, if you're the only one who knows that that is what it is. Neither are you asking her to marry her. Don't let it get to be too big a thing in your mind.

Ask her to go dancing. That way you can unfuck-up what I'm sure you didn't fuck-up in the first place.

[HEyHEY]

13. No way!

I could never do that ...maybe a few years ago I could have. But these days there's a deep inner fear of rejection that came up for some reason.

[Parrcrow]

16. You have nothing to be worried about

She asked you to dance.
She initiated the email correspondence.

You have plenty to offer and she already knows it.

square your shoulders, hold up your chin and go for it.

[HEyHEY]

17. Can't be done

I get nervous just THINKING about that and I'm no where NEAR that point.

[LastKnight]

19. then dont think about it.

just do it.

woah, i got a little bit of 'nike' in on that post... oops

-LK

[Poiuyt]

21. Just remember one thing

You are a member of the Democratic Underground!!

Parrcrow is right. SHE'S the one who is after YOU.

The only things we regret in life are the missed opportunities.

[mac56]

44. It is not possible to fail.

Be bold. Act confident.

[No Passaran]

20. She's definitely interested

Been there. Done that.

Meet for coffee. It's the best way to avoid being on a "Date" but it really gives you a chance to see where it can go from there.

[HEyHEY]

22. Okay - email has been sent

I suggest a tour of the city, or some other time waster between getting arrested for; Theft over $1000, resisting arrest, and five counts of assaulting a police officer.

ALways test the sense of humour..especially cause you never know if the evening will end up that way.

[Parrcrow]

23. Good Man!!

I have no doubt that it will be a very nice time.

I will again recommend that you take her dancing. Say "I owe you a dance".

[Poiuyt]

24. YES!!!

Way to go! Keep us posted.

[tjdee]

25. Why did you turn down the dancing?

on edit: Did you have to go that bad??

I'm dealing with this EXACT THING.
And it's driving me friggin insane.

She likes you. She has put herself out there at least twice.

No idea on the plans, but don't leave without making plans for a future time. You'll be able to gauge her better when you see her in person....although, I'm not having luck with that, LOL.

'My guy' came, we hung out with mutual friends, he put his arm around me for a hot minute, unnecessarily hugged me a few times,invited himself to the movies with me... and backed out. He's leaving Friday, we're hanging out with friends tomorrow.
???

[yvr girl]

26. A couple of ideas

Is she sporty? Ocean Kayaking from either Deep Cove or Granville Island. Grouse Grind, but only if she's really sporty. Do the seawall (walk, blade or bike.)

More cultural events. Bard on the Beach (awesome view), Theatre Sports. Theatre Under the Stars.

Festival of Lights (still like Symphony of Fire better) if she's here then. A boat is best, but English Bay is fun too, if you can deal with the crowds. Vanier Park is another viewing option.

You can rent a boat pretty cheaply from a marina in Horseshoe Bay (I think that it's called Stillwell's)

Grab a coffee and go for a walk: Jericho to Spanish Banks (you can go all the way to Wreck Beach at low tide, I wouldn't do that on a first date), Crescent Beach, White Rock, 4th Avenue, Commercial Drive, Robson Street, Denman Street, the Endowment Lands etc.

Go to a baseball game at Nat Baily, the conservatory in Queen Elizabeth Park, or the museum of Anthropology.

Summer is a great time in Vancouver. There's lots to do. Good Luck.

[HEyHEY]

27. !!!! A new Vancouverite!

Where are you from? I'm from Port Moody originally!

[yvr girl]

31. Close to Kits

I used to live in Port Moody (as well as Coquitlam, Burnaby, Surrey (don't tell anyone) and I was born in New West.)

Thanks for the welcome everyone.

As far as the girlese goes, here's my translation. She's low maintenance, and will appreciate a low-key date. Many women feel pressured from an 'over-the-top', sweep-her-off-her-feet type date. (Girlfriends/wives on the other hand really appreciate them.)

[HEyHEY]

32. Ah..low key huh

Cool, well it's good to have ya here. Man, another ex-Port Moody dweller on DU what are the odds. I grew up off of IOCO.
Anyway, good to see ya, we have a lot of Canadian DUers, a few British Columbians and about 4 Vancouver DUers.
Cheers!

[Parrcrow]

28. Welcome to DU Yvr Girl!

:hi:

[Sufi Marmot]

40. All excellent suggestions - here's a few more...

The Museum of Anthropology at UBC could also be coupled with a visit to Nitobe Gardens (a very cool Japanese garden on UBC campus)

I think there's a Warhol exhibit in town this summer...(checks last week's Georgia Straight...) I'm right, there is... Edit: Upon further thread perusal I see you already know that.

It's a bit kitschy, but isn't there a revolving restaurant with a great view of Vancouver at Harborside? Once again Im not just imagining things

Take the ferry from Horseshoe Bay to one of those cutesy little gulf islands.

Drive the Sea to Sky Highway to Squamish, hike Stawamus Chief, and spend the rest of the day poking around Squamish.

Van Dusen if she really likes gardens

Beautiful and historic Marpole (kidding...)

-SM, a YVR guy...

[HEyHEY]

29. So, I heard back already

It's a go, and Andy Warhol is at the Vancouver museum that week...so there we go. As well...anyone who speaks girlese, she said if all else fails some beer an idle chit-chat would be cool. I don't know, I read too deeply into shit.

[Parrcrow]

30. It means that she's more interested in seeing you

than what the two of you do or where you go.

:toast: I'm happy for you HeyHey

[sleipnir]

37. Sounds like a score to me!

Good luck and have a good time. Damn, man, you got yourself a girl! Museum is a nice touch, that's intellectual, practical and pretty fun, espcecially if you make fun of the other people at the exibit, if only to honor Andy.

Beer is a sure sign of attraction. Hell, if any girl askes me out for a beer(though, that has happened much lately after the butt cheek Botox), I never turn it down!

[Bunny]

45. She wants you BAD!!!!

She is most definitely interested in you! Way to go!

[Misunderestimator]

46. On the girlese thing...

It means that she likes you enough to be willing to sit over drinks with you without any distraction. Good sign.

Good luck!

[Race4Peace]

38. I'm from the southern US, but anyhoo...

get in some coffee somewhere. You might want to meet at a coffee shop, get something to eat or drink quickly, then go to the museum, or you might want to meet somewhere else, go to the museum, then get coffee afterwards, whichever works best for you.

About the dancing problem, face the devil head-on! Challenge some of your friends to some sort of dance off, and learn the moonwalk, earthwalk(reversed moonwalk), and other moves. You should also learn to dance with a girl like her.BTW what kind of dancing is you weakness?

[Rhiannon12866]

39. Does she share your political beliefs?

I suggest that you go together to see "Fahrenheit 9/11." This will inspire no end of conversation, if nothing else.:shrug:

[Poiuyt]

42. I don't think so

Looking at mutilated bodies isn't very romantic. First few dates should be kept light and fun.

[matcom]

43. ask her to have sex with you

at least that doesn't "scream date" :D

good luck buddy