Dr. Karl:
http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s364725.htmThis is the magnificent job that your anal sphincter does some 10 times per day, without fail. The proctologist, Dr. W. C. Bornemeier, wrote in his admiration of the anal sphincter, "...It apparently can tell whether its owner is alone or with someone, whether standing up or sitting down, and whether its owner has his pants on or off. No other muscle in the body is such a protector of the dignity of man, yet so ready to come to his relief."
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Josef Pujol was born in Marseilles in 1857. He soon discovered that he could control the muscles of his abdomen, like a bellows. When he synchronised this with careful control of the muscles of his anus, he found he could easily move two litres of water in and out of his colon - purely under voluntary control. He soon moved up to moving air in and out. He started off doing tricks for his friends. Of course, he would give his colon a thorough wash out before any performance, so there were never any embarrassing odours. His "natural" vocal range was only 4 notes - do, mi, sol, and up to the next do again.
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His vocal impressions covered the timid fart of a bride on her wedding night, her lusty raspberry fart one week later, and an imposing 10-second fart which sounded like the cutting of coarse cloth. After more sonic impressions, including farting the the French National Anthem, he would delicately retire off-stage, to insert a tube into his anus. Back on stage, he would further entertain the audience by using the tube to play various wind instruments, and to smoke a cigarette right down to the butt. He could even blow out candles at 30 cm.
More fartology at:
http://abc.net.au/spark/smelly/begone/default.htm
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