Aviation observations

[trof]

Most of these are new to me.

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
- Gunter's Second Law of Air Travel

The three worst things to hear in the cockpit:
The second officer says, "Damn it!"
The first officer says, "I have an idea!"
The captain say, "Hey, watch this!"
- anonymous

"In the Alaska bush I'd rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa."
- Kurt Wien

Lady, you want me to answer you if this old airplane is safe to fly? Just how in the world do you think it got to be this old?
- Anonymous

"Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute."
- George Bernard Shaw

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."
- Mark Russell

When asked why he was referred to as 'Ace': "Because during World War Two, I was responsible for the destruction of six aircraft, fortunately three were enemy."
- Captain Ray Lancaster, USAAF.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter fly-ins?
- Anonymous

Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed. - Anonymous

"I never liked riding in helicopters because there's a fair probability that the bottom part will get going around as fast as the top part."
- Lt. Col. John Wittenborn, USAFR.

"When it comes to testing new aircraft or determining maximum performance, pilots like to talk about "pushing the envelope." They're talking about a two dimensional model: the bottom is zero altitude, the ground; the left is zero speed; the top is max altitude; and the right, maximum velocity, of course.
So, the pilots are pushing that upper-right-hand corner of the envelope. What everybody tries not to dwell on is that that's where the postage gets canceled, too."
- Admiral Rick Hunter, U.S. Navy.

"It only takes five years to go from rumor to standard operating procedure."
- Dick Markgraf

"Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers & helicopters -- in that order -- need two."
- Paul Slattery

"I've flown every seat on this airplane, can someone tell me why the other two are always occupied by idiots?"
- Don Taylor

[izzie]

1. I heard this once

Flying in to Chicago. You could put on the ear phones and hear the tower. Well some one screamed 'watch out you are to near that plane! I put the GD things down and never did that fun thing to do again.

[GOPisEvil]

2. It only takes five years to go from rumor to standard operating procedure.

As someone who works in government, I can attest to that statement.