King Of Paperboys
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:16 PM
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*** BREAKING *** Bush To Begin Drinking Again |
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In a startling moment of candor, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan announced Thursday that George W. Bush will begin drinking heavily again, perhaps beginning as early as Thursday evening.
"The President is under a great deal of stress and, like a great many Americans, has decided to take the edge off with a few shots in the early evening," said McClellan, whose father is a conspiracy loon.
"The President knows his limits," continued McClellan "and he's just about had it, what with the dropping poll numbers and this Kenny-Boy shit this morning. Immediately after he stalked out of his press conference, the President kicked his dog, Barney. That's when he decided that drinking might be a good idea. Lots and lots of drinking."
At press time, there was no indication whether the President had decided to resume his wicked cocaine habit, but informed sources, speaking off the record while updating their resumes, predicted that can't be far behind.
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elperromagico
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:19 PM
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1. Is this your submission for The Onion? n/t |
getting old in mke
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:20 PM
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The doctors' scheduled to administer the President's yearly medical exam on Monday morning are planning on sleeping in late.
"Yep. Hitting the sack until November," said Dr. Ian T. Gonna-Seeim.
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johnnie
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:21 PM
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3. Did he ever really stop? |
KurtNYC
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:23 PM
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and that wedding video is another thing that could have gone into F911.
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ewagner
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:29 PM
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8. What wedding video? n/t |
johnnie
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:33 PM
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It's one of shrub with a drink in his hands |
elperromagico
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:33 PM
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9. I believe the wedding video shows Bush looking rather drunk, |
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Edited on Thu Jul-08-04 03:33 PM by elperromagico
and taking a drink in the late 80s (after he claims to have stopped drinking).
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johnnie
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:36 PM
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elperromagico
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:22 PM
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4. It would be nice if he'd get back into one of his other 60s habits: |
testing123
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:23 PM
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fertilizeonarbusto
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Thu Jul-08-04 03:23 PM
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It is reported that an executive order will be released tomorrow fully legalizing cocaine-though medicinal marihuana will still be illegal.
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DU
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Fri May 10th 2024, 05:10 PM
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