got my ass dumped tonight...

[LastKnight]

she left me for somone who was convicted of statuatory rape. wow, i feel like a real winner. they apparently had a past before he was convicted and since she turned 18 they could talk again. but that doesnt make it any better or any less of a surprise that she would associate with somone like that.

being young sucks, damn.


-LK

[Rowdyboy]

1. Boy are you lucky,

How the hell would you feel if you didn't find out what a loser she was until you were committed? You could have really screwed up! Sounds like a save on your part to me.

[LastKnight]

5. i suppose.

we were kinda casual friends before this, we got into it and both found out that the other person wasnt what we thought. im not that hurt cause it didnt get that serious. but really. a convicted rapist?

-LK

[Rowdyboy]

11. If she comes to her senses and comes back to you....

RUN LIKE HELL!!!

There are many things worse than being alone. Living with a flaky lunatic who associates with trash is one of them. You don't need that, trust me.

[LastKnight]

13. im usuially an understanding person. especially when people flake out.

but not this time. not for someone who slapped me in the face by saying 'hes better than you, and he has been convicted of one of the most horrible crimes out there.'

she never said it, but actions speak louder than words.

-LK

[Rowdyboy]

21. As a gay man living in a small southern town in the 1980's, I made some

really stupid and embarrassing mistakes-primarily because I was horny. Once I nearly got shot at work by someone's wife, and I really screwed over a couple of good female friends with their husbands, primarily due to excess testosterone.

You have to think carefully. This guy will very possibly abuse her in some way soon. When that happens, and she comes to you for help, you could EASILY get entangled way more than you need to be. Do you really want to wind up in jail for her problems?

She treated you like shit. Remember that, and keep in mind that she's the royal fuck up, not you.

[LastKnight]

24. thats the main thing im afraid of...

her getting abused by this guy. i know i shouldnt, but its only been an hour and a half or so. so i still kinda care what happens to her. for now. but no, theres no way i would let my self wind up in cuffs for her, not now.

-LK

[Rowdyboy]

28. Whats the story on the statutory rape? Is this really a bad guy that

she's with? A charge of "statutory rape" can mean many different things. I understand that you care about her and that you've just split up but be careful. Remember, felons can't vote and we need your vote this year!

[LastKnight]

29. im not clear on the whole story...

she kept telling me that they had 'a past that involved serious actions and consiquences' and that they have been through too much. they were formerly nextdoor neighbors, and i know for sure that she lost her virginity to him, i just donno when, and the thing is he is 3 (maybe 4, im not sure) years older, so all this leads me to believe that it was her that got him convicted and she was just too young to consent. age of consent is 16 around here. so... if he was 18 that would put her at 15 and would qualify, but that is speculation... but it fits. so. thats my theory.

but if im right, and even if she gave him consent, the age difference at that point is horrible, and thats enough for me to convict him in my head right now.

and no, nothing will keep me from voting this fall, i already said im not gonna be in cuffs for her, shes lucky if i even anwser my phone if she calls. not after this insult. even if she needs me.


-LK

[Rowdyboy]

31. No reason to answer the phone unless you WANT to talk to her

If you do, fine. If you really don't-let her slide away...

[LastKnight]

33. my outlook is looking a bit brighter with the support im getting here.

she may be gone to me sooner than i had thought. but im still not thrilled about what happened.

-LK

[Gardeaux08]

22. NO! Don't do that to yourself!

Trust me, you are much better off. Her preference of a criminal over you only shows her lack of self respect and taste. Do you really want to be with someone like that?!

[LastKnight]

23. thats why in the body of my message i said 'but not this time' , ect nt.

[neverborn]

38. Most horrible crimes?

You've got to be joking.

[Fenris]

2. Dude. You come out victorious. You don't have a stat conviction.

The worthy women look for the men without sex crime convictions.

[LastKnight]

10. it really surprised me that she would associate wiht somone like that. nt

[Blue-Jay]

3. You *should* feel like a real winner. Seriously.

If that's the type she likes, then you certainly DID win this one. You're better off.

[neoteric lefty]

4. ouch LK,

sorry to hear that. Doesn't sound like she makes the best decisions from the little I know of her.

[No2W2004]

6. Believe me...It hurts now,

but it's MUCH MUCH MUCH better to find out now what a total loser she is, than after you get married and have kids....(voice of experience hat/off)

Take your time, and you'll get through. You're better off not being with someone who doesn't care for YOU!

[Nevernose]

7. Sounds like a real winner

I once had a girl dump me for a guy who was in prison for his fifth burglary conviction (they knew each other before we met). Could we have been dating the same woman? Maybe sisters?

[LastKnight]

9. its possible, she has a sister. nt

[bavariantravel]

8. Better luck next time, dude

You deserve better

[Liberal Classic]

12. It may hurt now, but this too shall pass.

Just being sucks a lot of the time. However, darkness can only last so long when you laugh in its face.

It is highly likely Mr. Statutory will be pecking around for a new spring chicken once the current one begins to toughen up a bit. That is how these things go a lot of the time.

[gonefishing]

14. My first love dumped me 25 years ago and it still stings a little

However, I can't imagine any other scenario than the one I have with my wife and family.

[Lizz612]

15. Just your ass?

What about the rest of you? :P

[LastKnight]

16. haha, i actuially cracked a smile, thanks beth.

[AlFrankenFan]

17. Shit, and you went through watching Spiderman for her?!

I'm so sorry, hon. Hopefully you'll find someone that doesn't make you sit through lame-ass movies.

[LastKnight]

18. yea it ended before she dragged me to the sequel though, thankfully. nt

[DS1]

19. Eh, you're young, around you are countless of people your age who think

they are with their 'one and truly only etc' forever. They are in for a much nastier surprise than the one you went through.

Dare I say learn from some DUers who married too early...

Sure, you maybe going down the 'nice guys finish last' route, that's understandable. It's also not true. It's defeatist and defeatism is the last thing you want anywhere near you. Be yourself, age a little, get over the early crushes and you'll work out just fine. Like I said in another thread, walk into a room like you fucking own it, girls will notice.

I've been one of and known plenty of people that have had early desires crushed, early loves trampled on, but stick with your convictions and soon enough you'll know when you've found a good match. That match might not be the right one, who knows, finding out typically hurts less than not bothering.

Keep trying.

[Rowdyboy]

25. I wish I'd read DS1's advice 30 years ago

I would have saved myself a helluva lot of pain and grief. I never even had a serious boyfriend until I was 28 and we only lasted a few weeks; my only real relationship is the one I've been in since 1989 when I was 35.

Nice guys DO NOT finish last. Nice guys get WAY more than their share and don't you forget it!

Also, like DS1 says, walk into a room like you own it. You will.

[HEyHEY]

26. And make sure she sees you making out with your new girlfriend

Always makes things feel a littel better.

[LastKnight]

27. heh, ill keep that in mind. nt

[DS1]

36. No, fuck that.

Let's analyze that for a moment.

You make-out with a new girl in front of your ex - she'll try to upstage you. You don't want that. You don't need that. Before you know it she'll be reaching into some asshole's pants and stroking his cock. Lesson: Never get into a pissing contest with an ex.

She's your ex, you've got better things to worry about, least of all her.

Or...

You whisk away your new interest into a secluded area - you won't manage this step unless she wants it to happen. Reading this is the key. Everything is mutual, but she's looking to you to guide it. If you play the shy guy you won't get anywhere, but it doesn't take much to see the signs. Girls generally don't touch you unless they want to, this includes brushing up against you while reaching for something. If they brush up against you and didn't mean it, they'll make sure you know it wasn't intentional or some sort of physical reaction.

Smile. Damn, I can attend a class one night and not smile at anyone and not get a single glance, but if I show up (like I own the place) and smile, I get a shitload of smiles back. You might find happiness in the brooding artistic "The Cure" loving types, but smile anyway. It doesn't hurt, doesn't cost you anything, doesn't cost them anything, but it can be worth more than gold.

Most importantly, be yourself. Dress nice but don't kill yourself getting all sorts of shiny new shoes and pressed shirts. Just relax, take a deep breath, open your eyes, and look around. The person you are looking for could be right in front of you.

[LastKnight]

37. i took heyhey's comment as a joke... and was joking myself.

i dont really have a new interest yet. so... and it might be awhile, ill just wait till college starts and then i wont have to deal with a distance thing. but i thank you for your advice, its some of the rare stuff that actuially makes sense and sounds doable.

-LK

[DS1]

39. ahh, college ...

Fresh start.

Dude, you'll be fine. Drop all your inhibitions, all the people you want to meet already have by then.

Take up some form of activism, you'll meet like-minded chicks.

or..

Be the dope supplier, you'll meet even more chicks (and get them high)

or..

be the artistic (yet, social) type, you'll meet some great chicks

or..

be the smart one, you'll meet the best chicks

but mostly..

be yourself, meet the chick that's right for you. Highschool is bullshit, it always was, it always will be. You'll meet girls that can't stop talking about their high school days, I say avoid them. Meet someone interesting. Meet someone that compells you to do something. Meet someone that inspires you. Inspire someone else.

Don't dress up and be someone you're not. Don't bother approaching the girl you're after wearing clothes you've just picked up from the cleaners.

Do look in the mirror and make sure you don't have any lettuce in your teeth, or that your hair is gone apeshit.

Be yourself, the world doesn't have time for phonies, neither do you.

Breathe.

[LastKnight]

40. thanks man

you seem to be somone whos got it figured out. thanks for the encouragement. and the advice as well, it means alot to me.

-LK

[HEyHEY]

20. Obviously she couldn't be trusted, take this as a good thing

[tooncesj0nes]

30. 20 years ago..

..I was 'dumped' by a 19 yo girlfriend who left me for a car salesmen that had been married 3-4 times...after he borrowed a couple hundred dollars from her and quit calling..she came crawling back to me in a matter of weeks..we went to the trailer he supposedly lived in to get her $ back..another woman answered the door and said' I kicked him out a week ago''..needless to say, we got married 3 months later..divorced in 2 years..no kids thank god..20 years later, i have the greatest girlfriend a guy could have-beautiful-educated ..All the people my age that I thought 'had it made' back then (20 years ago) with their love lives..couldnt hold a candle to what Ive got now....my failures made me wise..and wouldnt change a thing when it came to my relationship failures (and there were several)...I often have wondered why we are attracted to certain types that are 'not good'-I truly believe in the concept of 'the odorless smell' when I hear of a girl like the one you described falling for an anti social type. They seem to equate the behaviour of these cretans as some sort of 'stength' on a certain level- I can guarantee this girl is in for a very difficult life. ..for you, perhaps there was something that you needed to learn about this type of girl before you ascend to another level ... it will sting inside for a little while..but in time there will be other opportunities if you leave yourself open to them... the fact that your interests have lead you to DU tells me you are very unique in your thoughts...make it a goal tofind someone of compatable values/beliefs. ...

[LastKnight]

32. i think you got it nailed. the whole odorless smell thing.

we are, well, where opposites, and for some reason we found ourselves drawn to eachother. well, life isnt a fary tale, there are rarley happy endings. thats how it goes i guess.

-LK

[tooncesj0nes]

34. life is full of irony...

..I wouldnt say that there arent happy endings because there are...but consider looking down the road a few years when someone like this girl (who is at an entirely different place than you are on a spiritual plane) has continued in her pattern of making toxic choices..then perhaps what may seem like an unhappy ending today will in fact be a very valuable learning experience about the essence of human behaviour.....it is very difficult to see the value in pain- especially when it is so fresh...but painful experiences can be a gift in helping us forge our identities..

[LastKnight]

35. thats the thing... i dont wish her any harm.

it would kill me to find out in a couple years that things didnt go well for her, i may be bitter, but i harbor no ill will toward her, i still care about her too. if the grand scheme of things was for her to teach me a lesson, then i hope it can be done without her destructive choices bringing her to a bad end. just cause we arent together doesnt mean i dont want her to be happy.

-LK

[Loonman]

41. Yeah, it does suck being young

But the upside is, you'll get over it rather quickly.