Could one of you homosexuals loan me a billion dollars?

[AntiCoup2K4]

The following is from a right wing spam e-mail I just read......

Dear (name of alias removed),

A recent news story about the Cable TV industry revealed the thinking behind the entertainment industry's pandering to groups like the homosexual community. Help Movieguide® build Christian clout in Hollywood today.

We need your help to encourage faithful entertainment!

Advertisers have told Hollywood that homosexuals in the U.S. have $500 billion in disposable income.

If American homosexuals, who comprise at most 3% of the U.S. population, have $500 billion in disposable income, then Americans who go to church every week, comprising at least 43% of the U.S. population, have $7 trillion in disposable income!

Movieguide® uses these kinds of facts to convince Hollywood's top decision makers of the audience for more family-friendly and Christian-friendly movies, videos, and TV programs. But, only your attendance and support of family and Christian friendly movies can change the climate in Hollywood.

Movieguide® is working for you in Hollywood, by collecting demographic and sales information related to all movies, then showing Hollywood insiders how much more successful family and Christian oriented movies are. This effort of time and research needs your support to continue.

We can't make an impact and show Hollywood Christian clout without support from people like you who care deeply about the content presented to our children, and grandchildren.

Please support the work of Movieguide® with your secure gift now!

Don't forget to support family friendly movies this summer!

Thank you and God bless you and your family,

Ted Baehr

Well, at least there wasn't any F-911 bashing in this one.

So what do you spend all those billions on? Is this how the "Fab Five" can afford to drive around New York in an SUV and redecorate all these straight guys' houses??

[Maestro]

1. How stupid

But if it's correct, I am turning gay to have a piece of that $500 billion pie. My wife will understand if I share a little of that with her. ;)

[rfranklin]

6. Can I have your wife if you're not using her?

I might give up my $billion for her. But then, I am a romantic.

[Maestro]

12. Wait till the billion is in my hand,

then I'll turn gay and then you can have her on loan. I want her back to help take take care of the kids with me.

[Liberal Veteran]

Oh sweetie...I would, but I am saving up for my 5th vacation house.

Bwah-ha-ha.

[northzax]

11. geez, how many places in Provincetown do you need?

:)

[billybob537]

2. Yes they have so much clout

that every time the get a show on regular networks its canceled almost immediately

[Misunderestimator]

3. SSShhhhhh..... NOW I'm gonna have to up my monthly contribution to DU

Shoot.... I hate it when people find out I'm a billionaire.

Fools... and where on earth did they get 3%? Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy.

[Catch22Dem]

4. I need a Christian movie

Like I need a broom handle shoved in my ass by Lyndie England. No thanks on both.

[Maestro]

14. OMG!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

23. ROFL

[Misunderestimator]

24. LMAO at your sig line...

Too f*cking funny!! :bounce:

[Deja Q]

5. $7 trillion in disposable income? Well, let them pay off the debt!

Technically, all my money pays off cards of credit. It's a MYTH, no more, that we homos have thousands of billions of disposable income.

OMG, some of us don't even have jobs - sometimes because we're hated for what we are perceived to do in the bedroom!

Ted Baehr can go bless himself...

[Maestro]

15. I read in my bedroom

What do you do and why is it a concern of a third party? Of course, Bush said that he doesn't care what you do in your bedroom you just can't get married? What's wrong with that? /sarcasm/

[Bronco69]

7. Well now!

using his numbers (3% with $500 billion in disposable income) and assuming that the U.S. population is 270,000,000 then there are 8,100,000 gay people in the U.S. and we each have $61,728.39 to do with as we please. I haven't had a vacation in a while and I could use a new truck. Maybe I should just run down to the dealership and throw those numbers at the salesperson and they'll just give me one. :-)

[GiovanniC]

28. Bunch of Fuckin' Commies

Their numbers assume not just that every homosexual has the same amount of money, but that all people have the same amount of money.

There are no homeless people and there are no people like Bill Gates who are richer than God. Everyone has a little over $60,000.

I was completely unaware of that.

I'd go on, but I've gotta figure out what the hell I did with my $60,000.

[terrya]

8. This is one of the most ridiculous canards around.

That all gay people are fabulously wealthy. It's an arguement used by homophobes to deny us "special rights". "Why do those rich homosexuals need special rights for?"

The fact of the matter is, gay people are just like straight people in this regard. Some gay people are rich, some are middle class, some are just eking by, paycheck to paycheck. Some are poor.

[Deja Q]

9. Damon Wayans, shill for Pepsi, is giving away $1 bil...

Just open specially marked bottles of Pepsi and you might win!

Then again, you might not...

He used to be funny 10 years ago, but since then he's become yet another actor in yet another typical dime-per-thousand family show. Even "In Living Color" at its worst (seasons 2 and especially 5 when he wasn't in the show) were better comedy.

[cardlaw]

10. Man, I KNEW

I was going out with the wrong guys! UGH!

[northzax]

13. of course homosexuals have disposable income

every social group has some level of disposable income. And given that many homosexuals choose not to have children (which are an incredible drain on the family finances) you end up with more disposable income.

Do gays have any more disposable income than DINKS? I doubt it, but DINKS don't get the freepers all riled up.

[meegbear]

16. The "Velvet Ghetto"

Gays like me who are broke are actually "faking it" because we want your sympathy and money so we can promote our homosexual agenda.

You'd think somebody would have been smart enough to buy the toasters wholesale.

[northzax]

18. but, then what would the freepers blame on the Jews?

see, their single greatest fear is that the global jewish conspiracy and the global homo conspiracy are getting together in South Beach to make all of us good god-fearin' people live in bondage, just the way they like it.

see?

[ashling]

35. w w j d

world wide jewish domination

[sundog]

17. What this 3% stuff... I thought it was 10%

"at most 3%" -- I guess they don't want to cause a panic attack amongst their supporters -- anything over 3% might induce paranoia & convulsions

[meegbear]

19. That's the beauty of their logic ...

when a serious point is made, '... well, they're only, what 2,3 percent of the population. They're not a representation.'

But when they need to make their point, there's 'millions and MILLIONS or them, like a huge wave, trying to engulf this nation with their radical agenda.'

[ronnykmarshall]

20. I would loan ya some ...

But you have to "look gay" when you spend it.

Our money has Judy Garland, Babs, Bette Midler and The Supremes on it.

[Misunderestimator]

22. Um.... you must be describing Gay Male Money...

Ours has Sappho, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barbarba Stanwyck, and Ellen Degeneris on it. :) (I didn't print the damn money... I'd add a couple of others if I did.)

But the denominations are huge... Eleanor is on the $1,000,000 bill.

[ronnykmarshall]

25. I've used lesbian money too.

Have you seen some of the Bi or Trans cash??

Angelia Jolie, The Lady Chablis and Joan Baez.

Sometimes I like to mix and match m' funds. The other day this clerk almost REFUSED my Martina $50.

Yes, I DID but him on "The Report".

[Misunderestimator]

26. LOL

Add to the bi list Queen Latifah and Janis Joplin.

I heard that Bobby, in "Me and Bobby McGee" was supposedly about a woman... makes me love that song even more!

[ronnykmarshall]

27. The love Queen Latifah!!

Saw her at Petco months ago. Probably the best celb sighting I've had. She has got to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

[Misunderestimator]

29. She's gorgeous, talented and smart... love her too!

[ronnykmarshall]

30. and can she SANG!!

I've seen her several times at the AIDS Dance a-thon in SF ... girlfriend is a hellva rapper ..... but give her a ballad! Omigawd! She has such beautiful voice. I have a CD with her singing "Lush Live" ..... make you wanna slap your mama!

[Taverner]

32. Hate to rain on your parade but, yes it was written about a woman

But...Kris Kristofferson wrote it :(

[Misunderestimator]

34. Doesn't rain on my parade at all, as long as Janis sang it.

:)

[ashling]

36. Don't want to burst your bubble, but

Me and Bobbie McGee was written by Kris Kristofferson

[tjwash]

21. OMG that's almost as funny as...

...send me a million dollars or god will take me away.

These poor persecuted Christians, they only make up 90% of our population, they are over 90% in control of all branches of our government, of all American states and cities and schools, and are the board of directors of every major corporation.

Now the Christians are all in a tizzy, because "they" are in control of the media also! I did not know that. Silly me, just because the top newspaper in America is the Wall Street Journal, the top news channel is FOX NEWS, the top radio conglomerate is Clear Channel, and AM radio is 90% dominated by conservative talk show hosts. I am so misinformed!

Man the things you learn from chain letters and spam...

[Duncan Grant]

31. They hate us for our finances!

(through clenched teeth: think Thurston Howell III)
Anyone who's come out of the closet knows all about 'pulling themselves up by their bootstraps' eh, lovey? You'd think they'd applaud our success. I'm telling you dahling, it's class war - not culture war.

Anyway AntiCoup2k, will that be cash, check or wire-transfer? PM me and we'll arrange the details. :evilgrin:

edit: punc

[philosophie_en_rose]

33. And could you send a limousine liberal out to drive me to the airport?

:) It's amazing how much the freeps have to grasp at things to envy about liberals and homosexuals. As if there isn't already a lot. :)

[ChoralScholar]

37. I wonder how that survey went?

Excuse me sir, could I have just a moment of your time?
I'd like you to take a survey for the Republican National Committee...

Question 1: Where do you stick your weenie?
Question 2: How much cash you got on ya?

<scribble, scribble> Ok... thanks.

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WTF? Doesn't anyone question numbers anymore?