"She Woke Up Pregnant"

[sus]

The name of the movie playing on Lifetime right now.

Seriously.

How hilarious is this channel??

I know we've done this before, but let's make up some more titles for Lifetime movie of the hour.

[Langis]

1. "He Woke up President"

[slor]

24. LOL...

That made my day!

[sus]

2. "She Woke Up Cheney and He was Fucking Pissed"

[m-jean03]

3. He Woke Up Having Successfully Inseminated His Wife

The Other Side of the story. :D

[jukes]

8. He Woke Up W/ Gonorrhea

the other, other side of the story!

[sus]

9. Mother, It Burns When I Pee

[iconoclastic cat]

4. It Woke Up A Fully Sentient Fetus

[Ilsa]

5. "Mother, May I

Tell Cheney to go F___ Himself?"

[Ilsa]

6. "She Slept With a Traitor :

The Story of Laura "Pickles" Bush"

[Snoggera]

40. She Slept In A Trailer

The Story of Laura "Pickles" Bush (part 2 - after the white house and her drunken husband beats the crap out of her, and the kids are all in jail, and..........)

[dorktv]

41. She Loved Valium Too Much

one woman's story of why she married into the Bush Family.

[sus]

7. Mother, May I Wake Up Danger? He's Snoring.

[m-jean03]

10. My Daughter Woke Up Danger

And Now He's Commander-In-Chief

[sus]

11. Not Without My Blow: The True Story of a White House Chimp

[Deja Q]

12. 'He Woke Up Pregnant'

:shrug:

[sus]

13. He Woke Up Pregnant and Now He's the Governor of California

[m-jean03]

15. He Woke Up Pregnant And Was Forced To Have An Abortion

Because The Christian Right Wing Government Found It Unnatural and Wrong

[KFC]

14. She Woke Up a Man

And did not know to do with it.

[Deja Q]

21. Well put!

I had been thinking "She Woke Up With a Penis" but that might have been considered inflammatory. :D

[m-jean03]

27. She Woke Up WITH A Man

And Did Not Know What To Do With It!

[sus]

16. Not Without My Golf Clubs: The True Story of a Man-Boy with Drive

[sus]

17. Clubbed at Sunset; Buried at Dawn

[No2W2004]

18. Not without my Schnauz.....oops!

Hey! git offa my leg....Barney!....GIT OFFA MY LEG!!!

[sus]

19. Mother, May I Sleep With Barney?

[tcfrogs]

20. You probably won't believe this

but my wife & I saw the title and had to watch the whole damn thing! Stupid Lifetime movies!!!

[LiberalManiacfromOC]

91. I pity you... I really do.

[ronnykmarshall]

22. When Danger Knocks, Don't Answer!

[sus]

23. When Danger Knocks, Don't Fall for That "Candygram" Line

[ronnykmarshall]

86. That's from "The Land Shark" series.

Chilling, just chilling!
:scared:

[sus]

25. Not Without My Strippers

[Deja Q]

26. How about a sequel: "They Woke Up Pregnant"?

:scared:

[m-jean03]

28. She Woke Up Indignant

:)

[m-jean03]

29. She Woke Up Indigent

A True Story of Life in the Bush Economy

[Snoggera]

30. She woke up twice!

just like that Groundhog Day thing!

:)

but the second time, she was both indignant and indigent and intertwined with a pregnant partner who was pissed.

[m-jean03]

31. She Didn't Wake Up

Ever, Ever Again... :cry: :cry:

[Snoggera]

32. But the happy ending is

she never woke up because She Never Went To Sleep Again!

[m-jean03]

34. Oh that is a happy ending

But damnit, you weren't supposed to give it away!! :grr:

[m-jean03]

33. She Woke Up Presley

...A hypothetical love story about a woman who brings Elvis back from the dead and gives him plastic surgery so he'll never be recognized again.

[Snoggera]

35. She Woke Up Pretzel-ly

With a strong desire to choke the life out of someone!

[NoodleBoy]

36. fuck lifetime...

I hate those fucking lifetime movies. how many different stories about rape can they make?

she said no
she screamed no
she yelled no
she mumbled no
she meekly said yes, then when he wasn't listening said no under her breath
she said yes, but she really meant no
her lips said yes but her eyes said no
she said no, part 2: capitalizing on a woman's anguish
she said no, part 3: we ran out of plots

[Connie_Corleone]

42. She Said Maybe...

But really thought no.

[SarahB]

37. Don't scare me like that.

It's my life story. (Not to mention I've ovulating today, so back away....back away fast.) :D

[notadmblnd]

38. I never watch the victim channel

nt

[Dying Eagle]

39. "Don't count us out"

The true Incest love story of George and Jeb Bush!

[MidwestMomma]

43. Married at Sunrise, Dead by Dusk

The story of a former milk-carton runaway who after finally reuniting with her mother who recently completed 10 years in the state pen for attempted murder of the the man suspected of kidnapping her daughter meets the brother of the son of the man whose love was spurned 20 years ago whose one goal in life was to love the daughter of the woman who broke his father's heart and then kill her.

I think there might be some spousal abuse in there I missed. But it's a complicated plot.

Oh yeah, and the mom of the dead daughter finally finds closure in the arms of the ex-police officer kicked off the force for an addiction to the bottle caused by the loss of his daughter to a knife-wielding drug addict who sobers up to solve the case.

Hows that?

[MidwestMomma]

44. Please post the TV guide summary for this movie

I'd love to hear it! It's not showing on the Lifetime channel in my area. Sounds like a hoot...

[Snoggera]

45. She went to 29 Pharmacies

her attempts to get a pharmacist to give her the morning after pill turned out to be an all day ordeal. Check back in a few months for the sequel:

She's Pissed and Pregnant.

[m-jean03]

46. Excellent, Snoggera . n/t

[Connie_Corleone]

47. Her Husband's Lover

Mother, Can I sleep With Cheney?

The Babysitter Who Lives Next Door... on Mockingbird Lane In The Red and White House.

My Stepson, My Lover, My Husband, My Milkman.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

48. She woke up a FReeper.........................

and began her day with a crushing bout of self-loathing.

[sus]

49. Stalked By An Angel

[taxidriver]

50. "men are pigs, women are soft and smell good"

my g/f watched the late night 'girl porn' on lifetime. the resulting mood is the only thing worthywhile about that channel.

[Jack_Dawson]

53. LOL - seriously

[Jack_Dawson]

51. "She Said No"...

Trust me my EX-Girlfriend...Lifetime and LMN is all she watched. I know them all: "The Return of Alex Kelly" "She Said No" "Her Best Friend's Husband". It's all quite depressing trust me.

[GOPisEvil]

52. Men ^&%^(@# Suck!!!

[sus]

54. Ashley Has Two Mommies, Two Daddies, And A Close Personal Friend

[sus]

56. Pale Terror: They Wore White After Labor Day

[taxidriver]

55. "she woke up to go to the bathroom..."

"...but her husband used the last of the TP"

[sus]

59. and he left the SEAT up!

[sus]

57. Gone In Seven Days: The Monistat Diaries

[GOPisEvil]

58. Men who like to beat women, and the women who set them on fire.

[sus]

60. hahaha!

[GOPisEvil]

61. New "How-to" show: How to find the next man who will abuse you.

[sus]

62. Smegma Tragedy: We're ALL Victims Now

[sus]

63. Semi-Dirty Dancing: Lambada In The Heartland

[GOPisEvil]

64. Your new boyfriend is a potential rapist! They ALL are!

[Connie_Corleone]

65. Stories of Desperation

"When He Didn't Come Home...On Time."

The agonizing story of a wife who doesn't know why her husband came home 15 minutes late from work!

[sus]

66. My Sister saw through His Disguise and I wouldn't Believe Her until

the 44 minute mark

[sus]

67. 48 hours of Golden Girls and Designing Women: Estrogen SMACKDOWN!

[GOPisEvil]

68. Let's just break up now, and make this a 30-minute movie instead.

[sus]

69. My Kid Went Apeshit: Terror in America's Mall

[sus]

70. Not Without My Crack Whore!!

[GOPisEvil]

71. Not Without My Manolo's: One Woman's struggle against cheap shoes.

[sus]

72. Rickshaw Rage: A Journey of Terror

starring Nancy McKeon and Pat Morita as "Wong"

[Connie_Corleone]

73. My Husband's Secret Life...

The story of a woman who finds out that her husband is a closet Republican!

[GOPisEvil]

74. You call that a DIAMOND?! (Your guide to not marrying a cheapskate.)

[sus]

75. Over or Under: Toilet Paper Tragedy

[Connie_Corleone]

76. She Said No...

But Danger raped her and she woke up pregnant.

[sus]

77. But I'm a Virgin: The Story of Mary

[Connie_Corleone]

80. I like that one!

n/t

[sus]

78. When A Stranger Calls To Say, "Danger!"

[sus]

79. Mother May I Speed-Dial Danger??

[sus]

81. Danger's Roommate Called to Say Danger Would be Stopping By later to

Kill You!!

[GOPisEvil]

82. I never saw it coming: a story about dating an ex-con

[m-jean03]

84. I never saw it coming: a story about dating an ex-condom salesman

:evilgrin:

[Connie_Corleone]

83. Stories Of Desperation Continued

"I Slept With Danger, But Will He Call?"

[sus]

85. I Love a Parade: the Last Days of Jesus

[playahata1]

121. I think that might be more suitable for THE HISTORY CHANNEL.

:-) Better still, EWTN, the Catholic Channel. Or maybe the PAX Network.

[ronnykmarshall]

87. Danger Behind the Wheel - The Laura Welch Story

[sus]

88. Chief Justice Rehnquist's Carousel of Justice

[sus]

89. the Days and Nights of Ed McMahon

[Wapsie B]

90. Sounds like the immaculate conception

to me.

[sus]

92. Haitian Honeymoon With Danger

[GOPisEvil]

93. When Danger looks like Brad Pitt.

[Donkeyboy75]

94. "Women are from Venus, Men are from Hell"

[Ellen Forradalom]

145. Men are from Mars, Women are from Vegas

[sus]

95. Don't Marry That Man!

[Donkeyboy75]

97. Don't Marry ANY Man!

[sus]

98. Satan! A Love Story

[sus]

102. My Dignity, My Foreskin

[sus]

96. Ignore Me For An Hour, Scar Me For Life

[Fenris]

99. She Shot the Sheriff...And Had Sex With The Deputy

Starring JoBeth Williams and A. Martinez.

[GOPisEvil]

100. He said my ass looked fat in these jeans!

[kmla]

101. " At the Height of Their Mediocrity - The George and Pickles Story"

A yawner of a fairy tale of the rise to the presidency of the "Being There" president, and his Stepford wife.

Reviews -

"Exceedingly grand in it's banality. - Joseph Schmoe, Ottumwa Register

"Remarkably entrenched in the middle of the bell curve - Larry (No last name or publication given.)

[sus]

103. Sweetheart Of The Prison Rodeo

[GOPisEvil]

104. What's The Number for 911? (When Danger doesn't take no for an answer!)

[sus]

105. Mother, It's Been a Half Hour. Can Danger and I go Swimming Now?

[GOPisEvil]

106. You Say Tomato; I Say Date Rape

[sus]

107. When She Lets Her Hair Hang Down: The Ruth Bader Ginsburg Story

[sus]

108. Sandra Day O'Connor: After the Laughter

[Fenris]

109. Not Without Your Daughter: The Woody Allen Story

[sus]

110. He Touched Me There: Fat Tony Goes Hunting for "Duck"

[GOPisEvil]

111. My Sister Is My Mother

[sus]

112. "Danger" and the sequels:

In Harm's Way


Watch Out!


For God's Sake, You Moron, Get Out of the Way


Go Ahead, Get Yourself Killed, See if I Care


That's It, You Bastard, I'm Killing You Myself

[LynneSin]

113. She woke up with a toasteroven next to her

:crazy:

[m-jean03]

156. You can make

burritos and gardenburgers in those things, you know. :evilgrin:

[sus]

114. Don: Portrait of a Middle-Aged Runaway

[GOPisEvil]

115. When Harvery Danger Is On Stage Is Any Woman Safe?

[sus]

116. Danger Takes A Holiday With Death, And Drives Up To

Mackinaw For The Weekend, Does Some Boating, And Has A Salmon Dinner That's Really Quite Good For The Price.

[LynneSin]

117. Life after the batteries die: A woman's struggle to survive...

..without her vibrator

[GOPisEvil]

118. Why does Mr. Perfect show up AFTER I join the Nunnery?

[ronnykmarshall]

119. Caller ID: The Best Defence Against Danger

[sus]

120. Hic: The Jenna Bush Story

[sus]

122. The Beer Hunter: Happy Hour In The Heartland

[GOPisEvil]

123. Sure he's an ex-con, but isn't he CUTE?!

[sus]

124. Can You Hear The Laughter? The Jeering, Derisive Laughter?:

The Corey Feldman Story

[GOPisEvil]

125. A Practical Guide To The Restraining Order: When Danger Gets Too Close!

[sus]

126. I Photocopied Danger's ID

[GOPisEvil]

128. I Paid A Private Eye To Do A Background Check On Danger

[GOPisEvil]

129. I Went Out With Danger Despite What The PI Found Out.

[sus]

131. My Sister Sleeps With Danger, I Sleep With Indifference.

[GOPisEvil]

132. Danger Hit On My Sister At The Restaurant

[sus]

133. BWAHAHA! put that in "something about other DUers that we don't know."

[sus]

127. Bourbon In My Mug, Shame At My Table: The Charlie Rose Story

[sus]

130. The Love That Won't Shut the Hell Up

[sus]

134. The Burning Barcalounger

[sus]

135. Please Help Me Stop Posting: Sus's Battle with Boredom

[ronnykmarshall]

144. Danger Calls Sus : The Mother of All Battles

[GOPisEvil]

147. Cheap Bastard: Danger Calls Collect

[sus]

149. When Danger Kept Calling, I Star 69'ed It

[sus]

148. When Danger Kept Calling and Hanging Up Without Saying Anything

[LynneSin]

136. When Danger calls Danger: The story of how even Danger gets stalked

:eyes:

[LynneSin]

137. When Danger calls Dangerfield: Can Rodney ever get respect?

:eyes:

[sus]

138. I'm Not Gonna Eat That Apple : Anne's Battle with Anorexia

[sus]

139. You Gonna Eat That Apple?: A Stranger's Lunch

[GOPisEvil]

140. Father's Day: Danger's Illegitimate Children Show Up For A Reckoning

[ronnykmarshall]

141. Womb of Terror : The Barbara Bush Story

[sus]

146. She Called Me A Bitch: Geraldine Ferraro's Epiphany

After two decades, a woman finally realizes what "rhymes with witch."
Barbara Bush stars as herself.

[sus]

142. A Stranger Too Far: The Judith Light Story

Judith Light plays herself, in a dramatization of the nervous breakdown she suffered after acting in one too many Lifetime original movies.

[GOPisEvil]

143. Who's The Boss? Not Tony Freaking Danza - That's For Sure!

[Ellen Forradalom]

150. The Psychic Psoccer Mom

stalks Rodney Dangerfield

[sus]

151. Kiss DU Goodbye, But Never Cry, Never Cry

[sus]

152. Mother, Danger Put My Head On A Pike

[Justitia]

153. She Woke Up in a Burqua: Bush's 2nd Term

[LynneSin]

154. mother may I sleep with sus? Danger doesn't want me anymore

:shrug:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

155. Within the danger without!

Starring Tyne Daley

[Connie_Corleone]

157. Lifetime Movie Monday...

Mother, May I Have A Sandwich?: The Anne Coulter Story.

[sus]

158. The Cat Who Knew Danger: The True Life Story of Abbott

A thought provoking story of a cat on a mission. A pissing contest with the world around him, and inevitably...with himself.

Abbott plays himself. Evita played by Nelly. LynneSin played by J'Lo.

[LynneSin]

161. Abbott would become a superstar, probably have an affair with J-Lo

and they would be known to the world as Jenbott

:eyes:

[sus]

162. HAHAHA! Jenbott! good one.

[VoteDemocratic2004]

159. Barefoot and pregnant

No opinion of their own to speak of.

That's how the republicans like their women.

[sus]

160. Erasing Danger: It's For The Children; The Ralph Nader Story

In 2012, only three percent of the electorate showed up and voted Ralph Nader into office in a 5 way split vote with 33%. His legacy was to mandate that all newborns be administered a steel protection unit to keep them from harm's way. The Baby Box grew into an expansive law that eventually required their usage until retirement from any sort of career, at which times citizens would be allowed to abandon the units and procreate for the first time. Nader was savagely murdered by a mob of senior citizens in 2023.

[rlev1223]

163. Teacher's Pet - And That's Not All! .........

"He stayed to clean the eraser, and wound up polishing the pointer!"


from "Growing Up Right!"

July issue
http://www.modernmirth.com

[Bucky]

164. "Abandoned by Her No-Good First Husband" (starring Mare Winningham)

With Jefferey Tambor as "her sensitive, yet caring, second husband who learned to accept her career and horrible tape-worm infestation"