Downward spiral to homelessness.

[Waverley_Hills_Hiker]

I sort of feel Im' on a downward spiral, and I have this mental image of myself as homeless, or living in a room someplace...far away like Florida or LA.

I dont know what this is, some sort of latent self destructivness or what. Just wierd.

On edit, I do have an OK job with no layoffs in site yet, but I seem to be losing it, losing my temper/letting go and this feeling of despair overcomes me at times....

[patrice]

1. It's possible.

I'm going to give everything away when my nest egg is gone.

[cdsilv]

3. ...if at all possible, you REALLY don't want to do that. (be homeless)...

... I'm currently homeless, living in a 'fundie' shelter.

I've posted my story elsewhere, to make a long story short, I've been homeless nearly a year and am crawling up out of it, having recently gotten a really GOOD job.

Wasn't easy.

[patrice]

6. I'm pretty sure my children will give me a bedroom

Both are childless. One in Oregon, one in Kansas.

I've been middle class all of my life; having stuff isn't so great.

Thanks for your concern.

[Deja Q]

2. Small world we live in, I feel identically as you do.

I'm also now on zoloft and clonopin because of the fears.

[Waverley_Hills_Hiker]

4. Oddly enough its not a fear....

...its a feeling more of resignation and acceptance. Which is itself worrying.

[theivoryqueen]

5. me too, always feared that!

but since I got laid off last winter, it's a little bit worse. I don't have antidepressants, but bourbon usually works pretty well. Also, I try not to dwell upon the impending doom.

[patrice]

7. Anti-depressants affect your adaptation.

I tried them for a few months, then quit. I think about all of the tiny little choices they change.

[Droopy]

8. Could be a chemical imbalance, man

Sounds like the onset of depression to me. Everything could be going right in your life and you can still get depressed because of a chemical imbalance in your brain.

Try being extra special nice to yourself for a while. Indulge yourself. Do something that you've always wanted to do and haven't for some reason. Maybe you just need to shake things up a little. But if these feelings you are having get more intense you may want to consult a professional.

edit for spelling

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. Sounds unhealthy...

Of course we all become sad or angry at times; but you talk as if you could benefit from counseling and possibly a prescription.

I hope you feel happier soon! :hug:

[amazona]

12. p.s. I love the anteater!!!

I never noticed it before, maybe it's new, but it's sooo cute.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

14. Thanks!

I really could use one in my kitchen!

You might like this site: http://www.maiaw.com/anteater/

[Kenneth ken]

10. you need a change

some where in your life something is causing you to be depressed; that's the listless don't-care attitude you are feeling.

I have gone through this twice; once I was more prepared, quit my job, packed up everything I owned and moved half way across the country to a place where I knew no one. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but in reality, it was like stepping into quicksand, as I slowly over the course of several years sunk deeper and deeper, lost more and more.

Finally I bottomed out, reached out to family for help; got assistance to move all the way back to my home town, and family and friends helped me get back on my feet and out on my own again. Life is much better now than it was either before I moved away, or before I moved back.

If you don't have family near, it might be helpful to move back to where they are; as long as you are willing to accept their love, and give yours without criticism. I was very fortunate to be born into a great family, not every one is so lucky.

One of my favorite concepts:
"You can choose to be with me or not, but I have to stay with me." - Ashleigh Brilliant

When I first read that, I thought, "yeah, lucky you, you can leave, but I'm stuck here." Years later, I've learned to see it as, "the most important thing for me to be is some one I can live with and care about, because I'm not going any where."

Probably the best choice for you would be to figure out the root of your depression and strive to resolve that. For whatever reason, you seem to be seeing your self as some one who doesn't deserve what you have. Since you don't feel you deserve it, you are indifferent to thoughts of losing it.

Some one else mentioned chemical imbalance; that could be a factor also. Try increasing your B vitamin intake; brewers yeast is a good source of the full range of B vitamins. Check the local health food store of GNC-type store.

[amazona]

11. supposedly all women have this fear

I know I do, but I just ignore it. I've been homeless a couple times in my life, and I notice I survived.

If you're a man, it might not be considered as acceptable to have this fear. I've heard it called "bag lady syndrome." But you know what? I bet everyone goes through this fear at times?

I used to have an extremely bad temper, and it can be conquered with practice. We're rooting for you, don't give up.

[welshTerrier2]

13. look for some positive stuff

it does sound like you could use a prescription for some type of anti-depressant ...

in the meantime, try to spend a little energy on things that might give you a lift ... it sounds like you feel all you're doing is playing defense at work ...

how about getting out there with some progressive types and helping a campaign? how about getting a little exercise in the sunshine ... when i get down, i always try to spend my limited energies on positive stuff that might give me a lift ...

don't let the system beat you down ... it's done enough damage already ... you don't need to take this crap lying down ... find a little spark in yourself and light some fires ... we need your help ... look beyond yourself ...