Today I punched out a Freeper

[ForrestGump]

SUV.

I was about to cross a local boulevard, with a 'walk' signal icon protecting me, when some f***wit in a black Lincoln Navigator (and is it really coincidence that this rhymes so well with "Stinkin' Masturbator"?) came sailing through the intersection in an attempt to once again demonstrate the maxim that two physical bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

I quickly backshuffled to avoid being generally killed but, backed up against the curb, my foot had nowhere to go in the split second available and came thissssssss close to being crushed by this idiot's behemoth. He even slowed to a near stop at that instant, so I'm sure he saw me -- of course, there's always the likelihood of complete oblivion, whether born of self-centered arrogance or duh-ness.

Regardless, I was rather peeved by this attempt at vehicular manslaughter and verily did my right palm lash out to deliver a palm strike to the offending vehicle that rocked it slightly as he continued his turn onto Venture Boulevard. No dents, I think, because those rear pillars are fairly solid. Coincident with this act of self-defense, I -- not given to such verbal displays -- loudly proclaimed that the driver was an f-worder.

As the rear bumper receded toward Reseda, I saw a "W 04" campaign sticker affixed. Republican scum. May he suffer multiple flat tires in Death Valley on a day as lovely and warm as today and find that he didn't bring water because he couldn't find any that wasn't French. Let it be so.

[richmwill]

1. If there is a dent...

May his repair shop royally gouge him on the bill.

Glad you're ok though.

[ForrestGump]

3. Yeah! That, too! I'm going to wear knuckledusters the next time I walk

Be prepared. :-)

[AndyTiedye]

8. Keys Work Very Well in such circumstances

[eleonora]

2. LOL!

[Renew Deal]

4. lol

He didn't even stop after you hit his car? Are you sure it wasn't Neil Bush or one of the other drunkards?

[ForrestGump]

5. Hey, that'd explain a few things

Nope, didn;t stop, and couldn't, really, because once he completed the turn onto Ventura he was sucked away. No way he could have come back to try to run me over and, besides, on foot I would be far more agile than his lumbering piece of Detroit junk. And if he got out and came after me I'd soak his polo shirt in his own blood -- his kung fu will not defeat mine, look, you...his kung fu is very small...

[MissAnnThrope]

6. I Just Scream At Them

Where I'm living now, I've been here all of 7 months, I've learned that the walk signal means nothing to motorists.

At the corner, there's a weird T intersection. When you have the walk signal, all other lights are red. Great big "NO TURN ON READ ANYTIME" signs. That doesn't stop drivers, especially those in SUVs from trying to run you down.

I yell at them, and they stop. I've gotten so brazen that, when I'm waiting to cross the street, I will tell someone off if they've pulled up past the stop line into the crosswalk. Most of them will back up, but most of them just roll up the window and turn their heads. But my favorite is, when I had the walk signal and they have the red light, people will start honking their horns at the light, like that's going to change it.

The ones who are most likely to try to run me down are teenagers and people in SUVs. I can sort of understand the teenagers, as this is a very, well, let's just say that this is one of the towns where "The Sopranos" is supposed to take place and from the two times I watched that show, the superior attitudes and rage are very typical of the people around here.

[NJCher]

9. welcome, MissAnn

I think I know of where you speak. I lived there 21 years (moved one town over) and a friend who still lives there tells me the place is overrun by SUVs. I go there fairly frequently and see them myself.

Anyway, welcome to the 'hood.


Cher

[MissAnnThrope]

10. Thanks

I think SUVs are the scourge of this society. Low gas mileage, they can flip over in a good wind, they're unsafe, period.

They're nothing but a status symbol to say they can afford the gas. Well, at least there are fewer Hummers than where I used to live. That at least is something.

[VOX]

7. He deserved to be Cheneyed!

A stinkin' Lincoln Navigator with a "W 04" sticker = "it's all about ME!" (Not.)

Glad you're okay, FG. :toast:

[ForrestGump]

19. Thanks...you have to wonder how such people, the kind who'd slap a

Bush Jr sticker on their (usually) unecessary Suburban Assault Vehicle. What do they think, when they think? I just can't imagine that level of moranity, xenophobia, any of the various -isms, etc. Scary, some of them.

[ronnykmarshall]

11. Good for you!

I was driving the 101 a few weeks ago with my




sticker on the back.


I noticed this SUV with at W 04 on the back. I sped up a bit so I could get in front of them. Yup, two white guys. They must have noticed my



sticker (along with a rainbow peace sign) and got in the other lane and passed me.

As the little brownshirted Hitler youths passed and stared at me, I stuck my finger my mouth and made the "gag me" sign.

[ForrestGump]

20. Excellent!

Let's hear it for (the sometimes very annoying, to say the least, and currently endangered) freedom of expression!

[HEyHEY]

12. See, now if you had a gun that never woulda happened

Fucking liberal laws!

[ForrestGump]

21. Hey, now, y'all stop swearing or I'll shewt yoo.

:P

[denverbill]

13. He probably thought he'd hit you and was running away.

You know how Republicans feel about 'personal responsibility'.

[ForrestGump]

22. That's true...good point...would it count as plausible deniability?

I seem to recall that they're big on that, too.

Though the current pack of criminals is more into (patently) implausible deniability. Like about WMDs.

[Kid_A]

14. Waitaminnit, you slapped an SUV with your hand and made it move?

I can't help but find that a little hard to believe. The part about a Bushie nearly killing someone and driving off I have no problem with, but unless your name is Bruce Banner I think you might be exaggerating just a tad.

[HEyHEY]

15. Are you that weak? You can't rock a car with your hand

:-) ?

[Misunderestimator]

25. I can rock a car with my hand... I can rock a car just by swaying...

in my seat... What kind of car doesn't have suspension?

[ForrestGump]

27. Nope...there's this thing called suspension (of this car chassis, not of

disbelief).

There's also this thing about me being on the somewhat large side.

And there's another thing related to my having trained in martial arts for almost two decades.

Oh, also, I'm not a big-time physicist but I'd imagine that the fact that the vehicle was hanging a right, placing more weight on its left side (centripetal force, right?), would have made my attack (defense) from the right more effective than otherwise.

Actually, I'd have been surprised if I didn't move the thing, a little, and it WAS just a little shudder -- doesn't take much force at all. Go ahead...so to your local Hummer dealer and start smacking them around (the cars, not the salespeople, though they probably also deserve it) and see for yourself. Now, lifting it...yeah, I'd have been exaggerating if I claimed that.

So don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

[BiggJawn]

16. Saw an old guy in an H-2 today...

Made the "Teenie Peenie" sign at him. His old lady prolly said "He WISHES he could get it up that far..."

[ForrestGump]

28. Who needs Viagra when you've got a one-person energy crisis?

I hate those things. They're junk, too -- style (ugly as it may be) triumphs over substance and the American public applauds loudly.

[cmf]

17. I would have been so angry!!!

Especially after seeing the "W 04" sticker.:grr:

Carry a hammer or something next time - that way you can do some damage. :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

29. If I had a hammer...

I'd dent 'em in the fender
I'd dent 'em in the rear door...

:-)

[InkAddict]

33. All over that car

I'd hammer out danger
I'd hammer out a warning
I'd hammer 'bout the love between the Bushies and their Su-vie's
All...lll over this thread!

[ForrestGump]

36. You got it!

Man, you can really belt it out.

[sbj405]

18. I've noticed a distinct trend between crazy drivers and

W stickers. Not surprising, I suppose. But more often than not when I'm nearly running over as a ped or cut it, the offending car bears the ugly sticker.

[MissAnnThrope]

23. I've noticed a trend too

Not the same kind though. Have you ever noticed when it's foggy, rainy, snowing, or bad visibility of other types, it's always the people in grey cars who blend in perfectly with the sky and road that never have their headlights on?

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

26. Yes, I have noticed that too.

Or white cars in the snow. Or black cars at night.

Whaasupwiddat?

[ForrestGump]

30. It's as close as we may get to the Mark of the Beast

That is, unless those Guardian Angel proponents succeed in having us all bar coded.

I think that the 'W' marks them as being enthusiasts of an activity that British-aligned countries describe via a word that starts with the offending letter and rhymes with 'banking.'

[Misunderestimator]

24. No dents? Damn. n/t

[ForrestGump]

32. If only I could've kicked the door

:D

Not sure how sturdy those things are. I suppose that I could always have sued them if I hurt myself. :-)

[SarahB]

31. Good for you.

Sounds like the creep needed someone to kung fu his a$$ too.

P.S. You fixed your sig line! :thumbsup:

[ForrestGump]

35. Hopefully he'll get what's coming to him before he runs someone over

or rear-ends them. Not that he's exactly alone in driving like an arrogant pig.

I still think that SoCal drivers tend to be better, technically, then those of many (most) other places that I've lived in or visited, but there are still awful drivers here...most, I think, drive badly through the familiarity that breeds contempt and, more so, because they're arrogant, impatient, piggish Type A scumbuckets. In other words, in other places bad drivers drive badly because they're morons, unable to think at a speed equivalent to the car's, whereas here I'm sure it's because they've got bad attitudes, and there're too many nasty people around.

Yep, finally fixed my picture! Found a new image host, at last.

[Endangered Specie]

34. DId you get his license?

[ForrestGump]

37. Nope...if I did doubt I could do anything

Unless you're talking vigilante justice... :P

Really, that kind of thing happens too much to anyone who walks around a town or city, in many countries, but the W sticker added insult to near-injury. Actually, it provided context that made sense.

[Endangered Specie]

38. Well...

it would be a shame if, at some later date, the SUV should come across your keys... you know ;)

[ForrestGump]

39. ...and rub itself up against them? Yes...it would be a beastly shame....

:D

[Liberal Classic]

40. A Lincoln LS played road warrior games with me yesterday

I'm on two wheels in morning traffic. This guy came up behind me, braking hard. He decided to change lanes, but there was no way for him to get ahead since there was a delivery truck in that lane. So he decides to get back in his original lane, but does not see me. I have been watching him so I know what's coming and brake just in time to have him whip over into the space I just occupied. I give him a beep and a wave. He flips me the bird. I flip him the bird back. Watch where you're going you ass.

Pretty soon traffic clears the delivery truck and he changes into the right lane looking like he is going to take the exit. About the time I pull level with him he swerves at me. $(*&#$$!!! I pull back to get his plate, he breaks hard. Screw this, I'm out of there before he can react. I see him take the next off ramp.

While I have sympathy for you, at least your near miss was accidental.

As an aside, I don't believe that Ford had anything to do with what happened to me.