No nursing home for me! I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.

[mia]

This email has been making the rounds. Im passing it on to my parents.


With the average cost for a nursing home reaching $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long-term stay discount, and senior discount, its $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for

(1) Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner in any restaurant that I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

$5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up if you fake a decent limp. Ride the church bus free on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything for free and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to visit you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all your e-mails to the Holiday Inn!"

The Holiday Inn provides, to most standard rooms, coffee makers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV---- all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls). Then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day. Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends. Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program. You can invite your grand kids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends.

Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well. If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings; in a Holiday Inn you'll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same. And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room--your electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.

Being natural skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check this story out. I'm happy to report that they were positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate (we could have easily knocked them down to $40 a night)!.

See you at the Inn!

[Cobalt Violet]

1. Depends

Yes, you might need help changing your depends.

You may require the assistance of a personal care attendant when showering and dressing.Which is money well spent if you can avoid a hip fracture which for sure will put you in a nursing homes rehab unit for a long time. A condition which many many many senior eventually die from.

Also hopefully you will be able to tell which of your 20 medications is which and when to take one or the other and if you took this one or that one yet or not.

[chiburb]

2. Uh... yeah?

This was actually pretty funny, totally harmless, and a pretty good "Lounge" contri.
You're right about the other stuff, but did you HAVE to rain on the OP's parade?

[JohnnyRingo]

4. Or as I would observe...

Only Bill Gates and rest home residents can afford to employ a person to wipe their butts.

[yellowcanine]

3. But will the cleaning person give you a back rub. That's ok because the

nursing home attendants probably won't either. Saving that much money you can probably afford a masseuse. And an acupunturist and chiropractor as well. Wow. I think you may be unto something. You can even stay at the beach during the off-season (winter) and at ski resorts during the summer. Dang. There may be a business opportunity here.

[KamaAina]

5. Brilliant! Did you know that many people in nursing homes want out

but are stuck there because of archaic Medicaid regulations that define nursing home care, but not home or community-based care, as a required service (anything else is "voluntary" and is a drain on state budgets already beggared by lousy Bush* economic policy). Much more at:

http://www.rochestercdr.org

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.

Here it is:

http://www.holiday-inn-waikiki.com

Dining options include Todai Sushi and the renowned Wailana Coffee House (with a full bar!) Nearby is Hilton Hawaiian Village, a full resort with fine dining and even a bookstore. Ala Moana Center and beach park are about a five-minute bus ride away.

So, say No to the nursing home and keep the Golden in your "golden years" at the Holiday Inn Waikiki! :-)