Why is "trouble" so attractive?

[Robb]

Ever been attracted to someone who's just "trouble"? I'm lately feeling myself drawn to someone with a good solidly checkered past, a record, a party animal, etc. Not at all like me, I should add.

What is it about bad girls and bad boys that we common folk seem to enjoy so much? Or is it just me? :D

[Angelus]

1. Why is being attracted to someone such big trouble?

[ewagner]

2. In my single days

I was frequently in the same mode. I finally determined it was like having a fascination with rattle snakes....beautiful, fascinating, exciting, but deadly as all get out....it's a phase. It passes.

[ursacorwin]

8. sherri s tepper has a couple of great ideas about this

from 'six moon dance' in paraphrase:
in our earliet pre-primate days, males were understood to be good breeding partners if they could display controlled and semi-contolled violence both with and without the kin group. females evolved to be attracted to the males that demonstrated the best ability to protect females and offspring from other violent males. thus, in males an inclination towards physical response evolved, and early.

but as we evolved into a species with more complex and higher brain function, we also developed other models of social organization in which the weak & young were protected (some call it "civilization"). in these societies (the new word for large kin group) other traits were valued in males: the ability to think, plan, gather/grow complex foods, etc. the cooperative nature of these acts counters the baser instincts to violence, and was developed highly in females who directed certain males who shared these traits (chose to breed with them).

but men and women today still carry the genes in which violence & confrontation are inclined. thus, women often find "troublesome" men attractive, even when those men beat or rape them. also, men find "troublesome" women attractive, as it speaks to a primal part of themselves that isn't nourished in "civilized" society.

it's the old reptile brain vs. monkey brain argument with a gendered reading.

just a thought.

[sui generis]

11. sherri s tepper - wonderful

great author - glad to see another fan

[Hoping4Change]

16. Thanx for this post. Its a very illuminating theory.

[HEyHEY]

3. Depends on the kind of bad

I prefer general dgenerates to criminals

[Speck Tater]

4. I avoid trouble-people like the plague!

And friends wonder why my life has been so trouble-free.

[GOPisEvil]

5. It's a break from the mundane.

The one time I dated someone I knew was trouble, it ended up with me catching her having sex with another guy. I knew that relationship would end badly, but it sure was fun while it lasted. It was just...different. I'd like to say I wouldn't make the same mistake again, but who knows...:evilgrin:

[aden_nak]

6. Representation.

It represents a life that a small part of you wants to indulge in, but for whatever reason (logic, responsibility, family, religion, etc) you refrain from. However, by simply becoming involved with someone that DOES have that sort of "dangerous" lifestyle, many people think they can sample the wild life without it interfering with their day job. Usually doesn't quite work out that way.

[sui generis]

7. well, speaking of being trouble

it's a phase -- those of us who are considered trouble have often wanted that stability to temper us. I would go so far as to say that the worst of us didn't have great role models as children and have had to find our own way. The worst of us can be users of people as well as substances and thrills. Well actually the worst of us don't live long enough to grow up, but the best of us . . .we just keep getting better! I am in a wonderful "balanced" relationship with someone who really does play conscience to my wild child, and, as I've gotten older and more mortal I find myself curiously not attracted to the cliff's edge as often any more.

[Robb]

10. Ah...

...maybe it's part of the innate desire to change someone? "I can bring her back from the brink!!" :D

And we know how well that always works...!

[NC_Nurse]

9. Boredom

plain and simple.

A little drama can be fun, exciting, mysterious....too much can be AWFUL!

I keep my drama out of my relationships these days. I'd rather create it some other way. I certainly dated the bad boys some in the past, usually it ended pretty painfully and I grew tired of dealing with it.

It's especially easy to be drawn into that kind of stuff if you had a lot of drama in your family as a child. Recreating issues is a recurring theme in relationships (how's that for taking the fun out of it!).;)

[Snoggera]

12. Because spelled backwards it's "elbuort"

and how attractive is that?

[Magrittes Pipe]

13. Dammit, you dingbat.

Stop talking about Jenna Bush that way! :evilgrin:

[SarahB]

14. No way.

Not me. I tend to like those that are more like me- responsible types that aren't so checkered (life can be hard enough without adding that kind of drama). When that type of "checkering" enters the picture, I find it a turn off big time. Doesn't mean I'm boring or like people that are boring, but one doesn't need that element for excitement IMHO.

[Misinformed01]

15. Do yourself a big favor

and run like hell.

Yeah, "trouble" is precious. Right up to the minute you feel like you have been kicked in the gut because you find out "trouble" is screwing around on you, or that your credit card is maxed out...

Get a grip, fast. I have seen your picture, and read your posts; you seem like a nice man. Stay single until you meet someone who enhances your life, and vice versa.

[Snoggera]

17. Trouble is temporary

temporary in excitement and adventure. Some crave it. Some don't. Some do then don't. Some don't then do. Then don't again.

that's why.

[JVS]

18. Speak for yourself. I am not attracted to girls who are "in trouble"

In fact I try to stay away from those who are in trouble

[kmla]

19. Ummmmm. Perhaps Romeo Void sang it best...

".... a girl in trouble is a temporary thi-iiiiiiiii-iiiiing..."

(This was the follow up hit to "Never Say Never", which brought us the mind-altering chorus with the lyrics, "...I might like you better if we slept together, I might like you better if we slept together, ...")

Setting my moral compass along the path set by a mediocre new wave band? Not a good idea in retrospect...

:)

[Robb]

20. LOL!

I'm adding "perhaps Romeo Void said it best" to my personal lexicon! :D

[NightTrain]

21. Because it's less painful than "Twister."

:evilgrin:

[Robb]

22. But not so much a double-entendre as

..."Chutes and ladders." :evilgrin: