YellowRubberDuckie
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:24 PM
Original message |
Poll question: Were you spanked as a child? |
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Edited on Tue Jul-13-04 08:25 PM by YellowRubberDuckie
There has been a lot of talk about this today, and I thought we'd see how many of you were spanked as children. I'm not saying abused... Were you traumatized for the rest of your life because of it? Duckie
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Misunderestimator
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:24 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Yes, and more.... a STUPID thing to do. |
TNDemo
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:25 PM
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2. I even got to take that death walk out to the hedge to pick out |
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the weapon. I picked the littlest, skinniest switch I could find and only did that once. I tried to find the big sticks after that.
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HEyHEY
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:13 PM
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kitkatrose
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:26 PM
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3. Yes, not often though. |
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It was more of a last resort thing, and I think I turned out pretty good.
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bigwillq
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:27 PM
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7. That would be my response about my childhood |
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From time to time I would get a spank on the hand or on the butt, never on the face.
I think I also turned out alright.
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Cornus
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:26 PM
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Teddy_Salad
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:26 PM
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Have I been traumatized from it? No but I certainly never had a great relationship with my dad because of it and I think that's sad. :(
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YellowRubberDuckie
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
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There were a couple of times my dad got drunk and spanked me just for the hell of it, not that I deserved it or anything. I went off on him one time before he died and then he quit drinking. I miss him every day. I'm so sorry you and your dad never had a great relationship. Duckie
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YellowRubberDuckie
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:29 PM
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10. Hit the damned button twice. Sorry. |
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Edited on Tue Jul-13-04 08:30 PM by YellowRubberDuckie
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nini
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:27 PM
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we knew my mom meant big time business if it came to that - and it wasn't a beating but the old butt spaking a couple of times.
I am not traumatized from it and know she had to make a statement I wouldn't forget when she did do it.
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bloom
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:29 PM
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but it was so lame - I don't think it even counts as spanking.
And there was some crazy negotiation involved like I could forego the spanking and give up the ice cream bar or be spanked and get an ice cream bar - so I took the spanking and the ice cream bar.
I'm not sure what I even did - it might have been the time I decorated the walls without getting permission.
Wouldn't you know - I would end up an artist and paint all over the walls to my hearts content. :)
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ikojo
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:30 PM
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11. I don't recall being spanked often...I was one of those |
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kids where all my mom had to do was look at me a certain way and I KNEW she was not happy.
Whenever my mom got upset and thought she was going to lose it, she would slam cabinet doors and then pick up her purse and leave the house. She would then drive around and when she returned (which seemed like forever to a kid but she says it was usually just long enough for her to drive around the block) she was usually not upset or at least not as upset as she was before she left.
I think more parents should exercise the right to remove themselves from the room for a few minutes before taking their anger out on their kids. MOST of the time the kids are being disciplined only because the parents had a bad day at work or are upset for some other reason and the parent cannot take their anger out on the person with whom they are truly upset.
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Hoping4Change
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:34 PM
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12. Severely traumatized. My Dad just didn't just spank he flew into |
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unbelievable rages. His rage is so terrifying that men he worked with on the railroad told my Mom they were terrified of him when he was angry and they were big strapping men.
The problem with spanking is that parents often resort to it as a way to vent and they don't even realize how out of control they get.
If parents spank they should never do it while caught up in their emotions.
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flamingyouth
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:35 PM
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13. Yes - with my dad's belt |
cprise
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:38 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
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I believe there are some -isms that are due for a comeback, humanism and feminism among them.
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Misunderestimator
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:02 PM
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34. Same here... the natural escalation of violence... |
maveric
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:35 PM
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14. Oh Yeah. With belts and extension cords. |
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My dad would not spare the rod. And he was a Boston liberal democrat too. A very complex man he was.
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cprise
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:35 PM
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15. Not spanked so much as beat senseless |
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And it seemed to be for no reason at all.
I was never properly "spanked" for some transgression that I was well aware of. It was very violent and there seemend to be no cause/effect.
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Gothic Sponge
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:35 PM
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16. Not often, but i was spanked. . |
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Spanking a child just teaches them when you get angry violence is justified. If Mommy and Daddy did it, it must be okay.
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Moonbeam_Starlight
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:36 PM
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whipped, broken arm, black eyes, cut up arms, burned hands, locked in closets and laundry room for days. Does that count?
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MuseRider
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
19. Are you my missing brother? n/t |
MuseRider
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:37 PM
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damn near killed every few days or so. Usually for no particular reason except my father always said a day without beating one of the kids is like a day without sunshine. Lovely man. Was I traumatized? For a while there was a whole bunch of awful baggage from all of that but at some point you gotta give it up, take it for what it was and get on with your life. I must say I did a damned good job raising my boys and I am sure part of that was because I knew very well what NOT to do, LOL.
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YellowRubberDuckie
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:39 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
22. You weren't spanked. You were abused... |
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There's a huge difference. I'm sorry those things happened to you. Duckie
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MuseRider
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
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whatever life hands you you can learn from. A hard lesson to be sure but life is very good now and I learned to hold my temper and be a good person who hugged rather than hit my kids. I would say it was worth it sort of, maybe, well kind of. It was too long ago to worry about any more.
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Nikia
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:37 PM
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20. Yes but I don't know if I can separate this from abuse |
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By that I mean not that I was injured by the spankings. It's just that the punishment was inconsistent based on my parent's moods and sometimes was for things that weren't my fault, especially when they were the fault of the other parent. Then there was the verbal stuff. I was traumatized, but I don't know if it was just from the spankings.
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bloom
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
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more from rage that never affected me in an obvious physical way - as from the fear....
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WannaJumpMyScooter
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:39 PM
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23. Never when I felt it was undeserved |
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and that is just what I got caught doing.
Do I spank my kids? No. I don't need to, they listen.
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Catholic Sensation
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:41 PM
Response to Original message |
24. SPANKING IS NOT ABUSE... IT'S A SLAP ON THE ASS |
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Edited on Tue Jul-13-04 08:42 PM by Neo Progressive
NOTHING MORE. BEING HIT REPEATEDLY IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Why is this concept so hard to comprehend?
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Randers
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
27. If there is ANY redness |
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as a result, immediately following or otherwise, the "State", i.e. welfare people, consider it abuse.
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Catholic Sensation
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
33. i couldn't care less what the state considers abuse |
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spanking a child isn't abuse.
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Randers
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:09 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
39. I don't think that that categorically is correct |
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If someone is so spanked that they barely know they are spanked - sure, that's probably not abuse.
On the other hand - many are abused through spankings that are, in fact, battery.
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tech3149
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:48 PM
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And I deserved it every time, even a few that I didn't get it
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johnnie
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:50 PM
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29. I'm sorry so many of you were abused |
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I was spanked as I have said on a few of these today, but not abused. I have a good relationship with my parents, and we even laugh about some of those past things sometimes. Once again I am sorry for the ones who were abused.
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agingdem
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:52 PM
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30. To say I was beaten ... |
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would be a massive understatement. A beating is abuse...and my parents were masters at it.
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eyesroll
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:52 PM
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31. I can count the number of times I was spanked on one hand, maybe |
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Never hard, never more than one swat, and always at the immediate moment of infraction (no "go up to your room and wait for me"-type delays). Never as a punishment -- more as a "knock it off" if I was in imminent danger.
I don't think spanking would have been the most effective form of discipline for me, anyway. I was (and am) a royal klutz, so I'm always hurting myself and I have a high pain tolerance. The "you're too smart for this utterly stupid behavior" lecture really got to me, as did "we're very, very disappointed in you/we raised you better than this/why do you want to embarrass us and yourself like this?" since I was known for being this smart, good kid who tried to please. (I'm probably an anomaly here -- I feared the lecture much more than I feared the yelling, even when I was really little.)
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Lizz612
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:04 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
37. I too feared the "We're disappointed" lecture more. |
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I was never spanked, and got TONS of time outs on the stairs (as much for me as for them to cool down. But the lecture and the looks kept me in line as I too was eager to please.
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no_hypocrisy
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Tue Jul-13-04 08:58 PM
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32. The issue isn't that I was spanked. I protest the circumstances |
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that instigated the over-the-top response.
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Amaya
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:03 PM
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No, I wasn't traumatized. Thanks Mom :)
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SarahB
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:03 PM
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Kadie
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:06 PM
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38. Only once, a glass of cold water thrown on me was much more effective. |
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My brother on the other hand was routinely spanked when he was young, and my parents continued to have a difficult time with him. The spankings didn't accomplish much.
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HEyHEY
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:12 PM
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40. I was spanked with belts, pieces of wood, hands - not affected today |
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Edited on Tue Jul-13-04 09:12 PM by HEyHEY
I have a good relationship with my Dad and often laugh to myself when I think of it sometimes.
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KittyWampus
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:20 PM
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42. Yes, Physical & Emotional Abuse. At Least I Realised Early On |
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Edited on Tue Jul-13-04 09:23 PM by cryingshame
that my two parents & grandmother (came from 3 directions) did the best they knew how.
Of course, their best was a disgrace.
Also had 2 older brothers who tortured me.
When I was about 10 a voice spoke to me letting me know things would get better when I was older. And they did.
And I guess it's good there was no sexual abuse. Although noone taught me about sex... so that might be considered a form of neglect. or something.
I don't consider "spanking" abusive though. It's when it crosses the line of inflicing pain, intentinally or not.
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Angelus
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Tue Jul-13-04 09:48 PM
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43. I was spanked as a child and I'm not tramatized. |
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I learned by spanking. These spoiled assholes don't learn shit cuz their parents spoil them instead of punishing.
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