Any DUers who were raised in TWO-PARENT households who think

[LittleApple81]

they would have been better off if the parents would have divorced?

I am one of those. My mother could not divorce my father because there was no divorce in my country at that time. WHAT A MISERABLE LIFE FOR EVERYBODY CONCERNED.

There is no right to condemn people to live together who don't want to. And the children are NOT better off when the parents stay together "because of the children" and they allow the children to hear this statement forever.

[KittyWampus]

1. It's Impossible To Think of Being Better Off

If any of the things or people that tormented me had been absent.

Because I'm essentially okay with myself today. My past is what got me here.

Yes, there's stuff about me that needs work.

And there's a Hell of a lot of stuff I don't want repeated in another life, that's for sure.

But I can understand your point.

But (for instance) if your parents had split, who's to say your Mum wouldn't have just joined up with another dope.

[LittleApple81]

2. My father was a very nice individual...but a compulsive gambler.

It made life very hard... you could not really hate him but you just suffered the consequences without being able to do anything about it.

[KittyWampus]

5. Oh, I Was Just Being Hypothetical

trying to explain that we may wish and wonder how things woulda been different if only..............

My philosophy just prevents me from feeling regret.

Ultimately, I try to see Life (and EVERYTHING that happens in it) as ultimately beneficial. Not always easy.

Thanks, for sharing the personal stuff. :)

[Pale Blue Dot]

3. I hope, years from now, that my son understands

why my wife and I had to divorce. And I hope he feels OK about it. My wife and I waited an additional 5 years to do this because we didn't want to hurt him. It's been a very difficult decision.

[no_hypocrisy]

4. Oh yes. The thing that hung me up late at night was knowing that I didn't

want to live with either parent.

My parents were not a good match in many ways. They made each other very uncomfortable. And the marriage eroded my mother from the inside out as she struggled to be independent when the only thing my father wanted to do was to control. It was sad to witness all this day after day, from childhood to the day she died.

[mopinko]

6. well.....

yes and no. my father was an alcoholic, and it would have been better to get away from all that. but, without my mom to take care of him, and our house to come home to, he would have died in the gutter. so, it's a tough call.

[oustemnow]

7. I used to PRAY that my parents would get divorced when I was a kid

When it wasn't passive-aggressive sniping at each other, it was out-and-out shouting that I used to get to listen to while lying in bed, trying to get to sleep. Even now, nearly 40 years into their marriage, they seem at best resigned to spending the rest of their lives together. On occasion, when I talk to my father, he'll admit, "I should just divorce her." (Of course, in terms of the constant bickering, he's as much as a culprit as she is.)