How do I make my ESSO understand why I cycle like I do?

[BiggJawn]

She actually said "Your hell-for-leather riding style" last night.
I don't get it. I thought the whole point of the exercise was to Get Fit. And to get fit, you improve performance, and on a bike this means you either start going faster, or farther, or both. I'm going after both.

She thinks I'm nuts to do stuff like ride 24 miles in under 2 hours. and a 100-mile Century ride? Insanity!

Won't go riding with me because she doesn't want to go over 10 MPH...

OK, so I won't go to the smelly, hot gym with her, but I have an allergy to "Hampster Wheels"...

What to do.....:-(

[StClone]

1. Join the loners club or find a pack!

I got to the point where my wife would ride a bike while I ran! Finally it just me an the open road unless you find a buddy with similar taste in bike dress and performance. Must be some around.

[BiggJawn]

3. Don't mind being a "loner"...

But that's not conducive to "Togetherness" and all that "happy relationship" shit...

I think she's actually jealous because I come back from a ride wringing wet and happy, and she comes home from the gym bitching about how crowded and hot it was there...

She also doesn't care for the way I look in Lycra...OR a helmet...OR the shoes...

[prolesunited]

6. Umm...

Not to be mean, but remind me again what you see in her? :shrug:

Even if she doesn't share your interest or commitment, she should at least be supportive of your passion and enthusiasm. If it makes you happy, she should at least tolerate it without being critical.

[StClone]

8. Don't get me (us) wrong

My SO is not a health nut and I will not get on her about it. Otherwise she is incredible. I want her to eat right and exercise so she is happy, healthy and lives a long life but you can only do so much to afford and encourage.

I couldn't do better than her except for the health thing...which I am flexible on and that she is understands.

[BiggJawn]

13. She makes wonderful cookies...

And hates Bush. Hard to find traits in this part of the country...

She's got this idea in her head that I'm gonna go out for a ride some day and "pull a Fixx" and come back in a bodybag or something....

[prolesunited]

14. Well, probably not the makes

wonderful cookies, but the hates Bush part most definitely. ;-)

Just that you've posted more bad than good, but that's just the way it usually goes. You could be driving your car to work as well and get in an accident or slip in the tub.

I trust you ARE wearing your helmet, though. The stats on that are

I would compromise on the leisurely rides, though. You got plenty of bikes to chose from. Surely there's one with standard pedals. And if you're going so slow and not very far, it really doesn't matter if you have jeans and a T-shirt on.

On those jaunts, remind yourself that you're there for the company and NOT the ride. Just don't cave on the helmet.

[wishlist]

2. I can't get my husband to go on tough bike rides with me either

and when he does ride with me, he always wants to stop at the convenience store to buy candy bars and then take routes that avoid the hills. We have lots of steep hills which I purposely seek out for the exercise (plus less traffic on many of them)

I have just accepted the fact that if I want him to ride (or hike) with me at all, I have to settle for somewhat less rigorous workouts and just enjoy it as a chance to do something together and then make up for it when I go without him. He does have a knack for finding unique out-of-the-way interesting places to go on our rides though which I appreciate.

My previous bf was a marathon cycler and I never liked riding with him because he was so competitive and pushed himself so much that I felt pressured to keep up and annoyed over how he had to always prove how fast and strong a rider he was. Riding with him was too stressful and not fun for me, so I can relate to how your sig other feels!

[BiggJawn]

4. I don't mind taking a piddle-ride, but...

It has to be on HER terms, which means I have to wear denim shorts, non-cleated shoes, and go bare-headed. Oh, and not more than 6 miles.

Silly, isn't it?

[TrogL]

5. Bare-headed?

All bicyclists should wear helmets.

[BiggJawn]

9. "We didn't wear helmets when we were kids..."

"..and we all made it to adulthood JUST FINE!" is how she puts it.

[mopinko]

7. such is marriage

planning a vacation with the family right now, and already dreading the clash of "tempos" that the hubby and i have. even before i started having health problems, i could never keep up with him. he has no patience with a "stop and smell the roses" attitude.
blech

[supernova]

10. Speaking from the other side of this discussion

As someone who has to take it a bit slower than the rest when it comes to exercise, I don't like being around others who insist I keep up or who want me to continually speed up. I go as fast as I can, but it's not the same "fast" as everyone else's. Period.

My ex used to say he liked walking with me in the evenings. No he didn't. He usually walked or ran ahead me and sometimes didn't come back. :wtf: I would have liked it if he had actually wanted to stay by my side. As it was, he was just annoying.

You don't have to ride with her all the time. But you do have to decide what is more important in that moment, spenting time with your SO and making an effort to match her pace, or just going hell for leather all the time every time.

[trogdor]

11. I hate hamster wheels, too.

My wife bugs me all the time to meet her at the gym. Two, sometimes three days a week. I just can't see it when the weather is nice.

[Ellen Forradalom]

12. If she doesn't appreciate your tight, hot cycling buns....

then I have no idea what to suggest.