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Men are like . . . .
Laxatives ......They irritate the shit out of you.
Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Vacations ......They never seem to be long enough.
Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.
Blenders ...... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Coffee ...... The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.
Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always half off.
Government Bonds ...... They take soooooo long to mature.
Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Popcorn ...... They satisfy you but only for a little while.
Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at but not very bright.
Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
- posted by Lisa @ 5:31 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Smartie Pants Serious Quotes
People only see what they are prepared to see. -- R.W. Emerson
Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. -- A. Einstein
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- M. Ghandi
It's better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it. --Jeseph Joubert
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. -- Josh Billings
He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak. -- Michel de Montagne
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him. -- John Morley
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. -- John Powell
Every man has his follies- often they are the most interesting thing he's got. -- Josh Billings
Somewhere something incredible is waiting to be known. -- Carl Sagan
Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf. -- American Indian Proverb
I learned that it is the weak who are cruel and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong. -- Leo Rosten
What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. -- R.W. Emerson
When you are content to simply be yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you. -- Lao Tzu
The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules while quietly playing by your own. -- Michael Ronda
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. -- Buddha
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. -- Eric Haffer
Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. -- Harvey Feirstein
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and compassion. -- Buddha
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. -- Galileo Glalie
A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes. -- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
Only two things are infinite; the univers and human stupidity, and I'm not sure of the former. -- A. Einstein
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action. -- Goethe
With our thoughts we make the world. -- Buddha
The truth will make you free, but first it will make you angry. -- Unknown
All truths begin in blasphemies. -- George Bernard Shaw
Wisdom begins in wonder-- Socrates
One must find the source within one's own Self, one must posess it. Everything else is a detour -error. -- Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
It is not for me to judge another life. I must judge for myself. I must choose and reject. -- Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
...The water continually flowed and flowed and yet it was always there; it was always the same and yet every moment it was new. Who could understand, concieve this? -- Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
They all belonged to each other: the lament of those who yearn, the laughter of the wise, the cry of indignation, and the groan of the dying. They were all interwoven and interlocked, entwined in a thousand ways. And all the voices, all the goals, all the yearnings, all the sorrows, all the pleasures, all the good and evil, all of them together was the world. -- Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
The world is not imperfect or slowly evolving along a path to perfection. No, it is perfect at every moment; every sin already carries grace within it, all small children are potential old men, all sucklings have death within them, all dying people- eternal life. -- Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
Everything is necessary, everything needs only my agreement, my assent, my loving understanding; then all is well with me and nothing can harm me. -- Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
I can't afford to be misled one more time -- Alanis Morrissette
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. -- Polonius, Hamlet
Madness in great ones must not unwatched go. --Claudius, Hamlet
What to ourselves in passion we propose, the passion ending doth the purpose lose. -- Player King, Hamlet
Our wills and fates do so contrary run that our devices still are overthrown. -- Player King, Hamlet
A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm. -- Hamlet, Hamlet
...the rest is silence. --Hamlet, Hamlet
- posted by Lisa @ 11:56 AM
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