Dress Code for the 40-ish or older.

[Bertha Venation]

Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 40, WAY over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5 Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
13. Thongs and Depends

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. You forgot

Pony tails and bald spots

[Solly Mack]

2. I'm keeping my nose ring. I've it a long long time

and should I ever need bifocals..I'm still keeping my nose ring.

so there! :)

[redwitch]

3. Hilarious!

And very sound advice. But I hate having to give up my Depends!

[regularguy]

4. 42 year old, backwards baseball hat wearing, white suburban

dad, right here! Yo, dog.

[TrogL]

5. Who says I have cellulite

Yes, I'm wearing Speedos today. Long bike ride after work and hopefully catch some rays during lunch as long as the users don't break anything. *glares at users*

[Fovea]

8. Fashion do's

If you do got it over 40, flaunt it.
Bright colors, in fact, I recommend variations on a theme of hi-vis.
Last year I overheard a young woman remark to her lunch mates, "yummy ass" as I walked by. It made my year.

Most of my wardrobe is either coolmax or lycra.
Most of my shoes are SPD compatible...

There must be something wrong with me.

As I used to say...

Show me the user that only triples my work
and I will kiss their ass.

[TX-RAT]

6. Stop it your killing me.

Those are a hoot.

[Logansquare]

7. Might I add--male pattern balding with pony tail

And yes, I'm over 40.

[baldguy]

10. I use to have a pony tail.

But, when I started looking like a Shao Lin monk ...

[Bertha Venation]

9. about thongs and Depends: you know you're REALLY getting old when

you forget to paste the Depends into your thong before leaving the house.