I'm "celebrating" my 20th year working in retail

[flamingyouth]

....by getting the hell out as soon as I can. I absolutely can't take it anymore. I'm sitting here alone getting ready to close the store, and I realize that my jaw is all clenched and I'm just generally in a pissy mood.

I think my husband's death just magnified how much certain things annoy me, and how much I enjoy other things. So I'm going to pursue my two main passions in life. In January I start a 16-month program to become a licensed massage therapist, and I'm training to be a yoga instructor.

I don't ever want to touch a cash register again, I swear. </rant>

[GOPisEvil]

1. Congratulations!

I think it's so great when people figure out what they want to be when they grow up.

I wish I could figure it out for myself. :silly:

Ugh...20 years in retail? I'd have murdered someone by now.

[flamingyouth]

3. I almost did today, I swear

This irritating woman who is in her early 30s yet acts like a baby (even with the baby-talk...eeeuuuuwww) was trying on earrings and she got into this big debate with me about some part of the earring. Frankly, I didn't know what she was even talking about, nor did I care. She just kept badgering me about it.

In the back of my twisted mind, all I wanted to do was shout, "MAYBE YOU'D FIND THESE MORE ATTRACTIVE IF I SHOVED THEM UP YOUR ASS!" But I refrained. I was raised to be a lady.:evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

6. Baby talk?!?!?

I don't even talk to BABIES in baby talk!

You could suggest a new piercing location also. :evilgrin:

With your luck, she'll think of you as her FAVORITE and ask for you every time! OK - I'll shut up now. :7

[flamingyouth]

9. I AM her favorite - that's the sick thing

She just got married in May and was showing me her rings - all FIVE of them. She made her fiance buy her a 2-carat engagement ring and four wedding bands that she wears all together.

My mind is still reeling from that discussion.

She just thinks I'm wonderful, though.:eyes:

[GOPisEvil]

10. WTF?!

FIVE?!

TWO CARATS?!

FOUR BANDS?!

:wow:

I do think I'd have to have second thoughts about a woman like that if I were her husband.

[flamingyouth]

22. I've met him

He has that deer-in-headlights look, that's for sure.:eyes:

[GOPisEvil]

23. *makes whip-cracking sounds*

:evilgrin:

[flamingyouth]

26. "I just couldn't decide between the bands, so I made him buy them all"

:wtf:

[GOPisEvil]

29. Holy shit!

MADE HIM BUY THEM ALL.

"Honey, you had better made a GD decision or I'm outta here!"

[flamingyouth]

34. It just amazes me

To me, that would be the last thing on my mind when deciding whether or not I wanted to marry someone. I was in awe - and not in the good way.:(

[Philostopher]

2. You go, girl!

I'm starting to feel the same way about clerical work. I'm 'chipping' at college right now. I don't even know if I'll finish where I am, but I can always move the credits with me.

[flamingyouth]

12. Keep it up

(the college work, that is) - you'll get there eventually. Good luck!:hi:

[stevedeshazer]

4. Good for you.

I never knew how much I hated my retail/customer service career of 25 years until I lost my job. I was pissed off at fiirst, but came to realize that some things are more important. I'm almost broke, but a lot happier.

Good luck.

[flamingyouth]

14. I wonder if I will miss this?

At Christmas I have nightmares about work. Each year I usually have my "Night of the Living Dead" dream where the zombie customers keep trying to kill me.

I really do think it's time for a career change.:scared:

[stevedeshazer]

45. LOL!

You may be short of funds, but the thought of another Christmas like the last one, with NO "killer customers" sends me into tremulous joy.

Merry Christmas!

-ps- I had time to buy cheaper, but more personal gifts (creatively) even though I had less money. It was a plus.

[Droopy]

5. Good God

I don't know how you've done it. I specifically chose my job so I wouldn't have to deal with a lot of people. I still went crazy anyway. Here's to you and may the future hold brighter tomorrows. :toast:

[flamingyouth]

15. Thanks

Somehow working in isolation with a computer, access to music and DU sounds really wonderful right about now.:D

[Kurt Remarque]

7. you deserve an award for endurance

[flamingyouth]

16. Thank you - and yes, I agree

:D

[Doctor_J]

8. the two worst things about retail

Sundays and holidays.

[flamingyouth]

18. The holidays are the worst

I hate December with a seething passion rarely seen on this planet.:grr:

[Doctor_J]

30. we don't shop on holidays

we have imposed our own blue law. It would be a major accomplishment if we could get the retailers to let EVERYONE have every holiday off.

[Beaverhausen]

11. I'm a massage therapist

well I'm certified but don't do it for a living. I have a few private clients.

It's wonderful when I give a massage though. I feel I get as much healing as I give.

Remember to bless your current work for getting you where you are now.

Retail is very hard. I did it for a long time. Oy- my feet!

Have a great weekend!

[flamingyouth]

19. I didn't know you were a massage therapist

Cool. I may be checking in with you later as my education progresses. What you said about receiving and giving healing - that just sounds so wonderful to me.:hi:

[newyawker99]

13. Happy anniversary Lisa!

:toast: :party:

[flamingyouth]

20. Thanks, Roni!

And to think it seemed so cool when I started working in a store when I was 15!:silly:

[Taverner]

17. Congrats, FY!

I'm 34 and I still have no clue what I want to do with the rest of my life. I used to think I did, but then I actually did it for a while...

Retail hell is exactly that - so how long before we see the Flamingyouth Ashram in brochures for the Sea-Tac area?

[flamingyouth]

21. LOL

The good news for all of you is that I have to practice on lots of people before I get my license.:D

Ask GOPisEvil about the ashram - he's in charge of that.:7

[GOPisEvil]

24. There are these decks that need rebuilding...

...then there's the serenading...

The Church of the Eternal Flamingyouth is always recruiting new members.

[Taverner]

25. Do I need to give up my life savings?

And are you going to give me a story about Xenu and a Hydrogen bomb if I make it to the top level?

[flamingyouth]

28. Wow - I could try

I did excel in creative writing in my younger days. I'll try to use the part of my brain that hasn't been killed off by retail to come up with something good for you.:D

[Taverner]

33. Nah make up a new one

L Ron Hubbard already came up with the Xenu story :-D

I see...something involving grunge music, silent film stars and the letter "Q"

[GOPisEvil]

31. The building materials cost money!

:D

[Fenris]

27. Hooray for Lisa!

Persue what makes you happy, love! Don't let other people's shit stand in your way!:D

:toast:

:loveya:

[flamingyouth]

35. Thanks, Fenris

Always there in my corner - you've earned that free massage!!:D

[Fenris]

36. Yay!

I'm very tense!:D

[eyesroll]

32. Congratulations!

There's another DUer who's training in massage therapy -- I'll PM him and find out if he's interested in talking to you, if you're interested. (He's a pretty private person, so I won't call him out here.) It's a good, underserved field.

I worked retail for a few years in high school and college -- a Kids R Us in a wealthy suburb.

Do you get the fake nails and the credit card taptaptapping on the counter because you can't ring up the sale fast enough? My hearing's screwy -- way oversimplified, I have a hard time processing the tapping as separate from the cash register as separate from conversation -- and it took every ounce of concentration I had to hear and understand what the customer was saying under normal circumstance, and I couldn't yell at them to calm the hell down with the tapping.

Retail wasn't my thing. I'm glad you're finding your thing! :toast:

[flamingyouth]

37. Oh, it get it all

I can't imagine doing that job with compromised hearing. I'm always "too slow" or "too stupid" for everyone, it seems. Ugh, I can't imagine your experience.

Yes, the fake nails, the credit card tapping ... argh, it just makes me ... well, you know. Thanks!:hi:

[eyesroll]

38. It really wasn't too bad, overall, but I'm the type of person who can

handle whole big bunches of nasty things (freaking-out, raising holy hell, threatening to call their lawyer/my boss/the cops customers never bugged me), but little annoyances just get. on. my. last. nerve. (And, plus, I didn't actually know what was up with my hearing then -- only that I kept asking people to repeat themselves. I finally went to an audiologist and had it explained that my hearing, via the beep test, is only slightly worse than normal due to persistent ear infections as a kid, but not bad enough to be considered impaired -- it's something in my brain that's not processing the sound right. Untreatable, but now that I know what's up with it, I can compensate.)

I think my retail experience actually contributes to why I will never live in the north-shore suburban areas of Illinois ever again. I grew to loathe the stereotypical "north shore Nancy."

[flamingyouth]

39. Well, I work in Bellevue

Seattle's version of the North Shore.

I get you, believe me.:D

[AlienGirl]

47. WHOA! So do I!!!

I work at a large drugstore here.

I have gotten SO sick of rich people who think they're better than me. Particularly rich, attractive women.

I think I KNOW that lady with the rings and the baby-voice. She is annoying.

Tucker

[flamingyouth]

49. Hi Tucker

I got your PM - and yeah, that sounds great.:D

[Zomby Woof]

40. oh sweetie

:-( Retail is hell, and you have my full support. :hug:

[flamingyouth]

42. Thanks, Zomby

Goddamn people sometimes.:grr:

[Penndems]

41. From a kindred spirit - I feel your pain

Went to work for a major department store here in the D.C. area in the mid-1970s (Hecht's at Tysons Corner Mall, for those of you in Northern Virginia). Being young (I was nineteen when I started), I had the stamina to put up with anything - in the beginning.

My first job was in Men's Sportswear, which wasn't too bad. I set a precedent there - one of the first women in the entire chain to sell men's clothing. It wasn't too bad - men pretty much know what they want when they go shopping, they get it and pay for it. After about six months, Personnel transferred me to the children's department, which I LOVED. Children make great customers. It's their PARENTS that are a pain in the ass, LOL! (If they couldn't find Health-Tex on sale in their child's size, all hell broke loose.) :mad:

A year later, I got a promotion to Assistant Manager (at age 20)and moved over to selling lingerie. What an experience -- I never realized how many creative ways some people can come up with to shoplift bras and panties. And OMG -- Christmas was the WORST time of the year. You never realize how many assholes there are in the world until you work retail at that time of the year. I'll never forget this one guy who came in and picked out a negligee for his wife. We didn't have it in her size, so I called every store in the Hecht's chain, including the ones in Baltimore and and on the Maryland Eastern Shore. Finally - FINALLY - I found a set in Salisbury, Maryland. They shipped it out pronto for this clown to pick up before the store closed at 9:30. You guessed it - he never came back. Then there was the idiot who picked out one of those see-through baby doll numbers for his girlfriend and wanted ME to try it on. I refused, as politely and diplomatically as I could, under the circumstances. Once, a group of kids came in with a magic marker and decided to "decorate" some brand-new stock we'd just put out on the floor. Turns out they were some rich brats from McLean whose father was a higher-up at the CIA (he had to pay for the damages). Ah, and then there were the half-yearly store wide inventories. In the store until 3:00 a.m. counting everything in our department. And then we had to be back IN the store at 8:00 for the - you guessed it - Half-Yearly Inventory Sale!

And God help you if you get a code on a credit card and have to call the credit department, only to be put on hold or get a busy signal. People bitching, moaning and complaining because they've exceeded their limit or haven't paid on their bill and you're wasting their precious time. Eeech!

After 2 1/2 years, I was outta there. Which was a good thing, because I started my career in public service shortly afterwards. It took me a long, LONG time to get to the point where I could actually enjoy the Christmas holidays again, though.

I did take away some knowledge from retailing that came in handy later on:

1. When my husband goes clothes shopping, I can measure him for suits, and find the perfect matching ties and shirts. :) Ditto for children's clothing - I know what size my nieces and nephews wear by their height and weight.

2. It's better to spend money on good-quality merchandise that'll last a while then to throw money away on cheap stuff that falls apart after a few washings. (Always stick with the classics - they never go out of style.)

3. All that retailing experience paid off when I started working on political campaigns. ;)

4. After modeling junior-size clothes at the store on several occasions, I learned something about applying make-up and coordinating outfits.

5. The customer ISN'T always right.

Hope this helps and gives you a chuckle! :7 (BTW, congratulations! :toast: )

[flamingyouth]

43. LOL - this is all truly a keeper

Thank you so much. I did indeed get a chuckle out of it and so much more.

Yes, I agree, the parents are the worst. Although I did have a four-year-old boy once have a tantrum in the store and just start peeing everywhere. That was an experience.

You know, you spend some time behind the counter, you could write a book. Today, in my case, it would be a bitter rant, but maybe someday, like you, I can look back and laugh!

Thanks again! :hi:

[Penndems]

44. ROFL - Yeah, I had the peeing children, too

We'd go into a dressing room and there'd be wet spots on the floor. And the smell - well, you get the picture. ;)

You know when you've been retailing too long? When you start humming along with the store's Muzsac soundtrack. :boring:

THAT's when you know it's time to get out.

[TreasonousBastard]

46. Try this...

http://www.customerssuck.com/

I printed out that graphic and gave it to a few airline baggage employees and waitresses I know. They loved it. Tired of retail? Try customer service for an airline and have a real view of hell while explaining "voluntary separation" when half the plane's baggage is on another flight.

A woman of my acquaintance was one of those hell-on-wheels shoppers for years. Never actually being a bitch about things, but always griping and service was never good enough. It was always about what the stores owed her.

Then she opened her own store.

You have never seen such a 100% about face in someone's attitude in your life.

I spent a couple of years in retail sales and managed a small variety store for a year or so. I swear people are getting worse now, and we really need some "customer training."

I'd like to put a lot of the blame on the stores for not paying or caring about their employees, and letting service sink to new lows, but while there's a lot of blame there, there just aren't that many customers who know or care what good service is any more.

They know how to bitch and steal, though.

Good luck on your Great Escape.

[flamingyouth]

48. I can't believe I've never seen this site before!

ROFLMAO ... I think my favorite has to be "Almost An Official Woman." :7

On the flip side, there is also some pretty poor customer service in stores. I guess because I've spent two freaking decades waiting on people, I'm a little sensitive.

One thing I can't stand is, when the transaction is completed, the cashier says, "Well, there you go!" instead of "thank you." It must just be my little pet peeve, as no one else has ever mentioned it to me. I feel like I'm being flicked away like a fruit fly when people tell me that. I ALWAYS thank the clerk for their help when I'm a customer, and I wouldn't dream of not thanking a customer for their business.

Anyway, back on topic, this site is hilarious, and I love the story about your friend. Yep, when the shoe is on the other foot... :D

[Zomby Woof]

50. back during my retail days

I came up with the idea of "mandatory 1 year sentencing". Every able-bodied (and even disabled, hell, we have to comply with the ADA, and they can be assholes too) citizen 16 and older must fulfill at least one year of employment in the retail sector by their 30th birthday, or be banned from stores for life.

It's a modest proposal, and was always well-received by my co-workers.

[flamingyouth]

51. I've had that idea too

Together, Zomby, you and I can change the world!:thumbsup:

[Zomby Woof]

52. woohoo!

Feel the ZombyRetailRage!!! :hi:

[BigBigBear]

53. Their loss, flamingyouth

Had enough people telling you about 'new beginnings' and 'new journeys' ?

I'm glad you're starting some. :)

Been thinking about yoga or meditation myself. For the time being, I'm just trying to figure out how to do his move without collapsing into a wretched pile of misery and early-onset arthritic agony.