a lifetime of learning from Bad News Hughes . . .

[OneBlueSky]

and no, I have no idea who the hell Bad News Hughes is . . . just found this stuff funny . . . you may too, if your sense of humor is as warped as mine . . . via Metafilter . . .

DIARY OF INDIGNITIES SPECIAL EDITION: Uncle Patrick’s Advice to Children
Kids, this is all the shit I had to learn the hard way. Now that I’m retired it’s time to pass it on, so you won’t have to suffer the same indignities I did.

http://badnewshughes.blogspot.com/2004_01_01_badnewshughes_archive.html

some examples . . .

Don’t try to pee and ride a bicycle at the same time, even if Jim Marburger can do it. Not that you were watching or anything.

Be careful of what you headbutt. Some doors are not as sturdy as they might first look, and it can be hard to estimate your own strength immediately after inhaling nitrous oxide.

You better ask before you try and stick your finger up there.

If you suspect someone likes to do a lot of cocaine, don’t let them “borrow” your CDs.

The cops never think it’s as funny as you do.

- more . . .

http://badnewshughes.blogspot.com/2004_01_01_badnewshughes_archive.html