I could kick Stephen Hawking's ASS!

[sus]

post your unimpressive boasts here

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. I could best sus in a contest of wits!

[sus]

6. i know who al hedges is!

[WI_DEM]

2. you mean in a contest of intellect?

[Cannikin]

3. I could beat G. W. Bush in a geography bee

[GOPisEvil]

4. I can take candy from babies.

[Guy Fawkes]

5. I could fdisk your Hdd faster then you can hack an old CCBill script!

[tigereye]

7. I can think and drive at the same time

while telling my kid for the 1000th time why he doesn't need an X-box!
ah parenthood.

[johnnie]

8. I can beat Christopher Reeves...

....in the 200 yard dash.

[GOPisEvil]

9. I can walk and chew gum simultaneously.

[regularguy]

10. I can lay still for a really long time!

[commander bunnypants]

11. I like to kick the cruchtches out from people with broken legs

DDQM

[Reverend_Smitty]

12. I could beat a one legged man...

in an ass kicking contest!!!

[sus]

13. i can sit at my desk when i really have to pee and

hold it for hours because if i get up, i might miss something!

[Q3JR4]

14. I could be a better

president than the current one.

[CO Liberal]

15. I Can Go Longer Without a Drink...

...than both Bush Twins put together!!!

[Worst Username Ever]

16. George Bush is a liar!

n/t

[sus]

17. i could tap dance for you,

but I'm not wearing the right bra.

[jukes]

38. that is

a pretty mental image. TX!

[Beware the Beast Man]

18. I am the Ed Asner of fat, hairy guys!

No disrespect to Mr. Asner...

[jus_the_facts]

19. I can scream like a long tailed cat...in a room full 'o' rockin' chairs!

:o

[sus]

20. i could handpick a Wanker Olympic team just from my family alone!

[jukes]

42. sus

i'm willing to bet i can out wank your entire family, & i'm in my declining years!

[mrboba1]

21. I can invade a country better than my dad!

[ProfessorGAC]

22. I'm WAY Smarter Than My Dog!

Well, at least i think i am.
The Professor

[LynneSin]

23. I could kick George W. Bush's ass in a geography bee

:bounce:

[terrya]

24. I bet I could kick Tucker Carlson's ass.

He's SUCH a weenie. :-)

[LynneSin]

25. My box turtle is hotter than your box turtle

:P

[Ganja Ninja]

26. I could beat Dick Cheney in a food fight.

so long as I have plenty of apples.

[jdonaldball]

27. I can do a really good American accent

and a good male impersonation.

[Bridget Burke]

28. I'm stunningly beautiful compared to:

(Although she's stunning in her own way.)

[LynneSin]

29. I could my cats could kick sus's cat's asses

:bounce:

[sus]

32. i can ignore that bait in TWO notes!

[regularguy]

30. I could intimidate George Will.

[KamaAina]

31. I can eat a pretzel without choking

and stay upright on a Segway (this has been empirically demonstrated!)

Watch for my upcoming autobiography, "Too Smart to be President"!

[MikeG]

51. Too smart to be a Republican President.

Dem presidents actually have to be smart.

[Fenris]

33. I had sex with Joan Collins!

[Beetwasher]

34. I Can Wear Shirts!

n/t

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

35. I'm funnier than Dick Cheney

[jukes]

36. i can make

little children cry w/ my "drill sergeant" voice!


& i *REALLY* like it!

[m-jean03]

37. No, no, tell me it's not so, jukes....

That's too mean! :cry:


:D

Me, I can (and have) held lit birthday candles between my toes. :P

[jukes]

39. now THAT'S

a talent! polish color, pls?


(& no, i rarely do it, unless their folks ignore them while they misbehave in public. scares pee out of the neglectful 'rents, too!)

[m-jean03]

43. I think it's pretty funny, actually!

That would be a great talent. I can actually be a pretty mean babysitter if the kids are really out of control... but maybe you could help me refine my skills. :D

Nope, no nail polish on my toes, just first degree burns...... :P

[jukes]

45. got booted out of DI school

1 week before graduation. 1st marriage that w'kend, was 30 sec's late for rollcall. head instructor didn't care for me much, so i got the boot, but i never lost the diaphragm control.

[jukes]

48. i thought

you said you're a lipstick dyke?

no toepaint, que cauchemar!

[m-jean03]

49. What? Like hell I did.

...Maybe it was in your dreams, buddy. :)

[jukes]

52. i *WILL*

locate that post. prepare for a crow-feast!

[jukes]

53. mjean-03

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=1390175#1390604

post #53!

my memory is longer than my, uh...


lifespan, yeah that's the ticket!

[m-jean03]

54. Oh, THAT...

You should really read anything I write to whoisalhedges as sarcasm....

I don't know if we've ever spoken a serious word to each other! :D

[BlueJazz]

40. Right Now...I can sing Much, Much better than Elvis. n/t

[jukes]

41. *but*

does he smell better?

[jukes]

44. i make better coffee

than Zombywoof.

had a turkish national as a partner for a while in DC. had to start bringing in 2 thermoses, because he'd finish mine before i got a 2nd cup.

[Endangered Specie]

46. I can eat pretzels without choking to death!

[jukes]

47. OK, last boast...

i had sex under the Enterprise space shuttle 1 night in '86; parked in the woods behind Dulles Int Airport. still got a splintered ablation tile as a souvenir!

[m-jean03]

50. I'm a frugal shopper

I buy all the cheap brands and in bulk whenever possible. :D

[Anarcho-Socialist]

55. I can flame bait on the Free Repuglic n/t

[TroubleMan]

56. I can sing nearly every Al Green song by heart

I don't sing that good though, so you wouldn't want me to prove it. :)