AP: "Go F*** Yourself" added to Pledge of Allegiance

[JackDragna]

Washington - President Bush today authorized adding the phrase "Go Fuck Yourself" to the Pledge of Allegiance, the motto uttered by millions of American schoolchildren and government employees every day.

"It's a great day for America, a day when our national motto truly represents everything good about our nation" said the president in a Rose Garden ceremony in which he signed the change into law. With him was his wife, Vice President Cheney and over twenty Republican senators, including Georgia senator Saxby Chambliss , who had sponsored the bill. The event marked the first time since 1954 that the Pledge had been altered, when President Dwight Eisenhower approved the insertion of the phrase "Under God."

The president spoke at length about the need for the change. "When I ordered the invasion of Iraq, I showed the world that only bold, decisive action can keep the world safe. With his words on the Senate floor, Vice President Cheney has shown that only direct, blunt words can keep those who would side with terrorists from ruining his repuation. Senator Chambliss thought it was important that the bold, innovate phrase Vice President Cheney used to defend himself from terorist sympathizers should be recited every day by our schoolkids to remind themselves of the moment when God-fearing men told terrorist sympathizers 'enough was enough'."

The bill passed by the Senate 55-43, in addition to changing the language of the Pledge, gives the Department of Homeland Security some $100 million dollars to make changes to all public displays of the Pledge so the new wording can be added. Schools, government buildings and any other locales which objects will be told by the Department to go "Fuck Themselves," with all of their current staff fired.

When asked by a reporter whether encouraging their children to swear might go against some parents' religious or moral sensibilities, the president explained that parents need to realize that times change and that words often acquire new, more important meanings. "For example, misunderestimate, which has always been a word, is now finally in the Webster's Thesaurus. Dictionary. So they can just bring it on if they disagree. Thank you for attending today's ceremony. May God bless you fucking yourselves."

[shockingelk]

1. ---------

I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. Fuck all y'all motherfuckers.

[SheBop]

2. How is that fair?

When I told W to go fuck himself, I got thrown to the ground by SS (Secret Service - ahem) personnel.


;-) :wtf: