DU straight guys: why not take your SO's surname?

[jukes]

if Debo didn't support me/cats, i'da starved years ago!

[mrboba1]

1. my name is shorter

and takes less time to spell to others (both are unique)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

2. I will

No prob

[jukes]

7. ChavezSpeakstheTruth

i was kinda inspired by your post for this c-cat.

'fraid you'll have legal probs until this asshole country launches into the 21 cent.

can get a lawyer to file for a legal name change, until you can legally marry; next best i guess.

that whole fundy anti-gay marriage thing is *SO* fucked! hope you guys get around it soon!

:pals:


EDIT: cause i type like xians fuck, slow & clumsy.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

10. Love ya but that edit doesn't apply to this xian!

:evilgrin:

Edit: I just said that didn't I - there goes my image as an intillectual. D'oh!

[jukes]

17. Chavez

oops. !mi malo!, forgot your liberal xianity. shd have said "fundies" but i get tired of the redundancy.

no offense, & i'm sure you wear your SO out!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

32. No offense taken ever!

I really want to make a macho comment but I hate machismo - damn my testosterone!!!!!

[AngryAmish]

3. Many reasons

1. Tradition
2. I am the last of my line. While many could debate the wisdom of my breeding children...
3. It would make my dad happy.
4. Been running a business under my own name for 5+ years. Money spent on advertising etc.
5. I have a cool name.




Edited for spulling

[Worst Username Ever]

5. Yep

My brother and I are the last of our line, no cousins or anything. I am also old-fashioned when it comes to little traditions, and so is my fiance.

[Commendatori]

4. Because doing so would make me sound like a porn star

"Hi, Rick Ferrari. Nice to meet you."

[Worst Username Ever]

6. lol!!

I would be "Philip Cook." Sounds a little too english for my tastes.

If I had the opportunity, I don't know if I could resist the change to "rick ferrari." Kind of like Homer's "Max Powers."

[jukes]

11. Rick Ferrari

TOO cool!

much better than "dirk diggler"!

[GOPisEvil]

8. My only objection is inconvenience.

In fact, the reasons I would not want to change my name are the same reasons I would support my spouse if she were to decide she wanted to keep her name.

[Xithras]

9. I wasn't interested in changing my name

I assume you want the truth, and it doesn't get much more honest than that. My wife made the decision to take my name on her own, but I'd have supported her either way.

[jukes]

13. Xithras

nah, just dickin' around, & pointing out the ridic "traditions" of the "sanctity" of marriage according to patriarchal xians.


same w/ my SO, + she wanted to rid herself completely from her prior, who was a repube pencildick.

[Magrittes Pipe]

12. I own HER, not the other way around!

Silly! :P

[jukes]

14. whoisalhedges

ooh. flamebait. hope some of our militant fems jump on that 1!

shd make for some good reading!

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. Well, if anybody doesn't see the little tongue smilie...

...that's not my fault.

[jukes]

19. whois

our milfems someXs o'look those details in their fervor; we all know you were just effin' around!


you be cool w/ me, bro'man!

[Book Lover]

28. Here's yer militant feminist response!

Um, I can't think of anything. Damn you, you girlie-man!

[Magrittes Pipe]

29. I am offended!

:o

[Book Lover]

31. As well you should be!

:D

[jukes]

35. Book Lover

DAMN YOU! now i have to change my shirt & presoak the coffee stains!



:hi:

[Book Lover]

37. Baking soda and seltzer water will

TERMINATE those stains!

[jdonaldball]

16. Because my SO is Joe Btsfplk's sister

[chiburb]

18. I did....

It was my 1st marriage, back in 1975. She was successful in business so it made sense for her to keep her name. So what I did was hyphenate my name with hers (legally changed it), and when we married she assumed my (new) name. Guys at work made fun of me for a day or two, but eventually it became a non-issue.

The eventual custody fight was only over the hyphen...

[jukes]

20. chiburb

good story, & tx!

[undergroundpanther]

23. I'm Changing

my name to something TOTALLY not my birth name or a surname.
I mean parents stick us with names.So if we don't like it why not change it.There is no reason why you should go through life with a label you don't like someone else picked out.
I heard of a guy who changed his name to Tentatively A.Convenience.
What are names anyways other than a way to keep people from having to point at you and say"hey you".
And yes I do think men need to take the woman's name sometimes if she has the better name.Frankly all marriage names should be hyphenated names IMHO because it puts the concept of mutuality and equality over the pointless backward tradition or worse,patriarchy.Anything that gets that ingrained insane mindset of a person owning a person as property, or dominating them as if it was a right crushed apart the better.
I mean marriage is a way for the state to monitor who marries whom and it's very convenient tool for eugenicists to track whom marries whom and what families "mix" with'degenerates'or whatever..Our culture tracks people by SSN and by the names.
Marriage should have NO state involvement if it's a 'spiritual bond'.But it does interfere and issue licenses,And I wonder why? Why does the state care whom I bond with and why do they think they have a right to license love? Sick ain't it? Eugenics has not died out it has just got more sophisticated tools and new language.

[AlienGirl]

41. Why not use a completely new name?

I knew a couple who got married and both changed their last name to Water.

I also know of people who formed group househholds and chose a name for the household, after which they all became "of <household>" in public, with their birth-last-name only used for government stuff. So for instance, if Jane Jones and Mary Smith and Sally Anderson decide to become WhitePicketfence Household, they would be publically known as "Jane of WhitePicketfence," "Mary of WhitePicketfence," and "Sally of WhitePicketfence." (Please note the household only implies they share expenses and plan to stay together--nothing about their romantic status is to be inferred.)

But then I'm out of the mainstream.

Tucker

[regnaD kciN]

42. I know one couple who did that....

It was back in the 60s (or actually early 1970), of course. The couple decided to ditch their own last names, "Miller" and "Edwards," and take on the surname of..."Elvenstar." :shrug:

(By the way, the wife later walked out on that marriage, and is now married to right-wing talk-show host Michael Medved, and co-authoring books on "family values" with Dan Quayle. :eyes: I believe the husband has reverted to "Miller.")

[Spangle]

21. The reason for changing names isn't there anymore

It use to be for the "kids". To show who the father is and that the female was property of the male.

Now days, everyone doesn't automaticly change their last names. In some countrys the women never did change their last name. I don't know about the "never", I just know they generaly don't.. LOL!

With everyone having several marriages, kids by several different fathers, etc. Even changing the names for females is kinda a mute point these days. Schools are use to kids and parents having different names or even the kids having different names. No eyebrows are raised over it anymore.

Also, women go in the work force before getting wed. Everything is IN their birth name. Changing would cause problems. And if they divorce later....

Another words, the tradition is going away. It is no longer really needed.

When Hubby and I got married, we talked about the name change issue. He thought about changing HIS. I ended up changing. I didn't have to, no biggie if I didn't.

By the way, you can also hyphenate(sp) the two names. Hmmmm....

You don't have to accept every tradition. There are lots of wedding traditions and from those.. things are just "picked". Weddings, marriages and just like people. Everyone is different.

Don't do it because it's a tradition. Something that you feel your being denied. Do it because you want to. And you can always hire a lawyer to do this. No law in the land can prevent YOU from changing your name to show what is REAL in your heart. Even if neither one of you two change your names, you can always hyphenate your last names in postage, etc.. anything non-legal. And use your legal sig when needed.

[Cybergata]

33. My niece changed her name to my father's name...

even though her mother, my sister, changed her name to her husband's name when she was 18, in 1964. My niece did all the legal work herself, and her father paid the $100 court fee. I will always adore her for this.

:hippie:

[Birthmark]

22. Because it wouldn't be manly!

Sorry. Really, because it doesn't matter that much and my last name is much more interesting and harder to spell. Besides, her last name was an Italian name that was "Americanized" at Ellis Island a couple generations ago, so it's not really her last name.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

24. Because I don't have an SO!

And thank you so much for reminding me!
SLAM!!!
:cry:

(Just kidding...felt I had to emulate Billy Crystal in "The Princess Bride there.)

[jukes]

26. DemXCGI

O/C you've got an SO: i bet "rosey palm" is your best girl!

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

27. Dude! I SO don't do that!

And anyone who says so is lying!
Even if they have proof!

[CanuckAmok]

25. I did...and now it's gone, of course.

We took eachother's surnames.

The interesting thing is, that here at least, it's free for a woman to take her husband's surname, but for a husband to tke his wife's, there's the $300 fee which applies to all legal name changes. And it's a Kafka-esque process.

[Cybergata]

34. How Unfair!

...and ridiculous! Why the frell should we have to pay the government to have the names we want.

:hippie:

[HuckleB]

30. I didn't.

My excuse: I didn't particularly like the name, and no one can pronounce it correctly.

However, I made it very clear that I had no expectation that she should take my surname, even though she chose to do so, making her surname her middle name, rather than hyphenating. I do suspect that she may have chosen differently in time, as I suspect that worries about how her very traditional family would react played into her decision, even if only subconsciously.

[everythingsxen]

36. Sure why not?

I'm not all that attached to my own surname.

[Nikia]

38. A college classmate did this

I noticed this in the class notes that when they married, he took her last name. Another one of my college classmates said that she would not marry a man who would take her last name. She and her sister are the last in their line and she wants the name to continue.

[Unperson 309]

39. Friend of Mine Did Exactly That!

(nam4es changed to protect the innocent) By coincidence, his name was John Collins and her name was Mary Collins! He joked to us that "When we marry, I'll take her name."

Boy was he miffed when we started calling him Mary!

309

[Ivan Sputnik]

40. She didn't take mine

so why should I take hers?

I think everybody should just keep their own name (if they want--some people hate their surnames). The problem is what to call the kids. My son has a hyphenated last name. If he marries someone who also has a hyphenated last name, their kids could end up with last names that look like freight trains.

[Zech Marquis]

43. actually

my gf asked me this exact queston not to long ago....I'm more inclined to do so now than I was a month or so earlier...along with leaving the US on a permament basis...I'm leaning closer to yes :)