I just had box-turtle sex - it had the Virgin Mary on its shell...

[DS1]

Is she no longer a virgin? How do I go about alerting the authorities, media, and the Pope?

[GOPisEvil]

1. When you die, ask to be buried in shorts.

:-)

[DS1]

3. and poke a couple holes and a light in my coffin so my lover can

breathe and hopefully catch a few leaves here and there :scared:

[jus_the_facts]

2. You did take some photo's/video of that didn't you?

:evilgrin:

[underpants]

4. Go straight to the top

Start here:

http://cornyn.senate.gov/

For how it affects Homeland Security please see:

http://santorum.senate.gov/

[matcom]

5. you are a threat to national security

i'm calling ashcroft

[DS1]

6. Call me Agent Orange

:evilgrin:

[Magrittes Pipe]

7. You mean you didn't learn that prior to your ordination?

Damn, the ULC is getting sloppy these days.

[DS1]

9. I think I used that page to roll a doob

Thankfully the ULC still uses hemp

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. And I quote:

5. When thou fuckest the Blessed Mother or any creature or object bearing her holy image (for instance, a box turtle), ceaseth she to be a virgin and thou shalt cleave unto her as a husband doth, and giveth unto her thine name, and her child as well.
6. And unto her child be a father and as the child being the son of God, be thou God most holy.

Congratulations, God!

[DS1]

14. btw, funniest post of the day

:toast:

[dolo amber]

15. Where'd that loser go tonite, anyway?

I've made several witty comments he should've replied snarkily to...:shrug:

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. You have made no witty comments.

None ever. You are at a severe deficit of wit. Witless one.

[DS1]

21. Yeah, take that!

Witless Flanders! or something... :bounce:

[LynneSin]

8. Just call either Rick Santorum or John Cornyn's office...

they'll take care of the details

:eyes:

[dolo amber]

11. Huh huh huhhuhhuhhuh

"Box". :D

I think that should make it ok since you're a guy and all, no? :shrug:

[DS1]

12. uhhh huhuh huh huh huh

You said make

[DS1]

13. Post-coital kick

if only to tip my hat to whoisalhedges' quote database

[HEyHEY]

16. In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary...

"Come again?"

[hunter]

22. "Oh God!"

percipience, tumescence, fertility, etc.

[Mara Steele]

17. You can't do that!

Well, OK, but now you'll have to marry it if you knocked it up. And THEY won't like that, you know. They won't.

But I will. Because then, well, you know. Minnie. She's all mine. HAAHAHAHAH :D

[DS1]

18. Would that make my child the Lizard King?

:shrug:

[Mara Steele]

19. No, more like the "Lizard Thing"

It would of a genus never-before seen.

Actually, I'd probably pay to go see that... :D