John Kerry ate my guts! Share your John Kerry war stories here...

[DS1]

right off the grill!! He's psycho, man!

Don't fuck with K-Dogg!!

[curse10]

1. He tore the kitten fetuses right out of my cats stomach

and then ate them!

[dolo amber]

2. He ate my baby!!

Oh no, wait...that was a dingo.

[DS1]

4. He ate my baby too!

Taken during one of our last days together *sniff*

[Mara Steele]

7. LOL!!

Hi, dolo, it's me m-jean! :hi:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

3. He keeps a Chinese Monkey Brain Table...

with him at all times, to place infants in, when he needs a snack. I understand he especially likes to mix their brains up with one of those "boat motor" hand mixers, like Emeril uses, and suck them through a straw.

It keeps him young and vital, but freaks out his handlers at photo ops. They never know when he might turn a bit peckish and take a munch or two.

;-)

[codegreen]

5. he stole my medals and threw them away!

and slept with Jane Fonda and framed Richard Nixon!

he has his own private oil company in the works, and once in the WH he'll open up ANWR to a no-bid contract and make all the profit! he's only been fighting to save it for his own greedy self!

[neuvocat]

6. Geez that photo is hilarious to look at.

OOH! I know! Kerry ate my hair, so that's why his hair is so big.

[Fenris]

8. I was just a kid...

Lt. Kerry and I were stationed just outside the Cambodian border. One day we received word that the supply lines had been cut and wouldn't be restored until the next day. But the Lieutenant was too hungry. Needless to say, we drew straws to see who would sacrifice themselves for the survival of the crew.

John Kerry ate half my platoon in twelve hours.

[DS1]

9. Are you sure that wasn't in China? We were in deep, man

[Fenris]

10. It could have been. I was doing a lot of acid at the time.

John Kerry gave it to me. That and the clap.

[DS1]

11. He used to anally rape me with 30 mm anti-armor shells

then fire the poo-covered rounds at the enemy so they'd die from toxic shock if being blown to pieces didn't do the trick YEEEAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

[galadrium]

12. he performed an abortion at the rally I went to...

John Edwards too.

[dolo amber]

13. This one time, at band camp...

John Kerry put a p*ssy in my flute. :cry:

[DS1]

14. that must've taken some serious packin

:shrug:

[dolo amber]

15. He's a monster!!

He was singing a song...I can't remember exactly...something like this:

"I got no emotions for anybody else
You better understand
I'm in love with myself
Myself
My beautiful self

Got no feelings
for anybody else..."

Sadistic bastard...:grr:

[DS1]

16. Still, I'd give that flute a blow

:evilgrin:

[Radical Activist]

17. Holy cow this thread is sick

I like it!