Worst sexual experience?

[Khephra]

Open relationships anyone?

Yeah, they really work.

I was "involved" with a woman and while we were "at it" her b/f decided that he didn't like having an open relationship.

So...we're "at it" and I hear from outside my room "She better not be F**king him!" to my grandmother. Needless to say, the night did not end nicely.

[HEyHEY]

1. After a19-hour bender that spanned 100kms

I brought a girl back to my hotel room. She made out with me, then my roomate.... soon I found myself in a threesome. As soon as I touched his hand, I said, "I gotta go."

She said
"Rule number one, no one freaks out."
Fuck that I was freaking out. It's not that I'm homophobic, it just felt weird, and I remember (oddly) that I couldn't look my mom in the face after something like this.

[WindRavenX]

2. Had a typical college experience

Went to party (a Democrats of BC sponsored party to, and this is ironic, raise money for Planned Parenthood). Got wasted on vodka and cranberry. Started making out with guy. Went to guys car. Had sex in car. Passed out on lawn. Went back to party. Drank some more. Blacked out. Woke up in my bed (and was suprised).
Next day? I went to the DU meet up at People Republik in Cambridge. Still hung over. Then got drunk w/ peeps like MATCOM, Will, RationalRose, Curse10...good times :D

[Marvelous_Smarty]

6. I was with a stripper girlfriend,

and she had given me a pair of boxers that not only were adorned with little pink piggies, but also had a chip in them that when touched would start snorting and oinking.

I had just knocked one down and we were cuddling in our after sex glow when there was a forceful knock on the front door. I picked up my pink piggie boxers, put them on and answered the door. Found myself face to face with six armed Federal Agents who promptly arrested me. I was taken into custody wearing nothing but those boxers. Hard to convey an image as a badass in county wearing those things.

[Syrinx]

3. got to be that time my little friend didn't want to come and play

Happens to everyone, though. RIGHT?

RIGHT?

;)

[northzax]

12. sure, once you hit 70

happens all the time. you're perfectly normal for a 75 year old man without a prostate. don't worry about it.

[Donkeyboy75]

4. Yucky stuff.

When I was 17, my girlfriend ripped a nasty, earth-shattering fart when I was "eating at the Y." I was stunned when she didn't apologize, or even feign embarrassment. She laughed, and thought it was hilarious. Now I think farts are the funniest thing since Monty Python, but not under those circumstances. I dumped her soon thereafter...couldn't get it out of my head. After that experience, I developed two rules: 1) Don't befriend anyone who is rude to service workers, and 2) don't date women who fart during cunnilingus.

[Djinn]

5. coulda been worse Donkeyboy

a friend of mine had his nose broken by his girlfriends pelvic bone during cunnilingus - all the girls tried to reassure the poor embarassed sod (he'd told a friend how it happened and of course he'd told EVERYONE - how could you not!) that it showed she was clearly enjoying herself.

[Donkeyboy75]

11. I'd agree with the friends.

And wear the nose guard like a badge of honor. :evilgrin:

[Syrinx]

7. girls shouldn't fart until you marry them

Especially when you're having lunch down at the Y.

:)

[dolo amber]

8. Oh jesus

My ultra nemesis in high school was unfortunate enough to have that happen to her (well, I guess she caused it to happen, but anyway)...She was dating like Mr. All That and good lord, the gossip spread like wildfire. There was a bit of a twist on your story, however...

It seems she wasn't feeling her best at the time...so it wasn't all gaseous, if you get my meaning. x(

Poor thing, much as I didn't like her, ya had to feel sorry for the child.

Still tho...HAHA!! :P

[Donkeyboy75]

9. Well, thanks for letting me take something positive out of that

experience. I just can't imagine being on the receiving end of a Hershey squirt in that circumstance. :puke:

[Dogmudgeon]

10. Reading through this thread

It tops any bad sex I've had.

In fact, I may just decide to commit myself to a lifetime of celibacy after reading through it.

--bkl
The Electric Prude

[oxymoron]

13. Locking.