Is it wrong to not answer the phone

[prole_for_peace]

when you see it is your parents on the caller id? I have been doing that a lot lately. If it is my dad he wants me to do something for him. If is mom, she just wants to tell me about a shirt she got me for 99 cents or about something she just saw on the news. They need a hobby. Ever since my grandmother died last year my mom had been so bored (mom took care of grandma full time). I am sorry that she has nothing to do but I have tried to talk her into volunteering or getting a puppy or something. I AM NOT HER HOBBY!!! She calls me at work all the time about something she saw on tv or just to say what she cooked. aaarrgghhh!

[flamingyouth]

1. No, it is not all

And as I said to someone last night, I want to kiss deeply and passionately the person who developed caller ID. Some people just take telephoning way over the top. Think of your sanity first.:hi:

[Feanorcurufinwe]

2. You don't have an obligation to answer the phone.

It doesn't matter who is calling.

[Raven]

3. Don't feel guilty!

Check in with them on your own schedule...break them of a bad habit!:-)

[prole_for_peace]

8. Oh, I don't feel guilty at all...

I just wondered if other people would think that I suck because of it.

My mom has called me at work about about 3 pm and just because I didn't answer she will call my house to see if I am here. HELLO, I am allowed to leave my office for things like restroom breaks, filing, asking questions of my co-workers and the like.

She will also tell me that she called three times before and I didn't answer...THAT IS WHAT MY VOICEMAIL IS FOR!!!!! Damnnation..

[Mr.Green93]

4. don't worry

parents die off before you know it. And you won't be bothered anymore.

[shadu]

10. I agree. I would always answer.

[liberalhistorian]

5. Well, I don't think it's wrong if you

don't do it all the time, if it's only once in awhile. Have you tried talking to them about it? Diplomatically, of course. Since your grandmother's death is still fairly recent, they may need you more now, they're probably NOT making you crazy on purpose and it's important for you to be there for them. Be grateful you still have both of your parents, btw.

On a related note-folks, just because the phone rings does NOT mean you are obligated to answer it.

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. you only get one set of parents

so, it's not "wrong" to not answer the phone when they call... but still, they are your parents. My suggestion is to talk to them, explain that when you are working you have to be working, but set aside time for them every week or month.

If you mother is lonely or bored after taking care of your grandmother, she has a deep void in her life right now, and needs you, to some extent, to help fill it.

And assume for a minute that I was your mom when I say "I didn't carry you in my womb for 9 months so you could screen out my calls young lady!"

Good luck :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. The only reason I might say to pick it up is that you never know what

the call may be about. I hesitated once on a call from my grandparents, and it ended up being the call letting me know that he was dying. I don't think I could live with myself if I let that call go.

I think it's up to you. :hi:

[k in IA]

9. It is better to not answer then answer and be pissy or say something you

regret.

Do you have an answering machine so if it is important they can say to call them back because it is important?

[jukes]

11. kick

:kick:

[luaneryder]

12. What to do?

I had the same situation as you when my parents were alive. I didn;t have caller ID, but know that there would have been times I would not have picked up had I known if was them. Now that they're gone I feel a little guilty about being pissed when they called so much. The one thing I learned though was to ask my daughter to please let me know if I'm calling her too much or getting on her nerves in any way. Good luck with this, it's not easy.

[Cybergata]

13. Give her a kitten

Yes, for some of us this is the solution to every problem. ;-)

My mother died when I was 18. I would love to have the phone ring & it was either of my parents, both of whom are gone now. Answer the phone and give her some of your time. You'll be glad you did later on when you start missing them.

:hippie:

[NashVegas]

14. Of Course It's Not Wrong

But it is unkind.

Unless your parents completely messed up your life, it wouldn't hurt you to humor them. As long as giving them comfort doesn't create any emotional conflict for you, why not? In the long run, again, if they've been good to you, you'll be glad for it. Is there no way you can get your mom to accept it's not appropriate to be calling you at work?

[Stew225]

15. Caller ID is the best thing since

sliced bread. F all the telemarketers and your inlaws!

[thistle]

16. It depends on the parents.

You can't just make a blanket statement about this kind of thing without understanding the relationships involved. It's possible that your mom is nuts, or you are nuts, or that your mom is really very sweet and you are just being selfish by not answering her.

[JVS]

17. Yes.

Always answer the phone when they call. It could be important.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with telling them that you are annoyed with pointless calling and telling them that you think they need to find other things to do.