Another e-mail from my friend in animal rescue seeking cat advice

[Rhiannon12866]

A few days ago, I posted an e-mail I received from my friend in animal rescue, seeking advice about cats, and she was very grateful for all the helpful advice and knowledge that the resident cat experts on DU gave her. I was, as well. My friend is much more familiar with dogs and is in over her head with this difficult cat that she is fostering. Originally, she took in two mother cats, with six kittens between them, but now all of them have been placed, except for this one young cat who was one of the mothers, and is proving to be a very difficult cat. I have had cats, which is one reason that she is turning to me, but I have never experienced the kind of cat problems that she is. The other reason is that I seem to be the only one who is willing to get back to her. The solution of last resort would be to place this kitty with her petsitter who loves and knows about cats, but this cat prefers being an only cat and the petsitter already has about 30! Also, this cat really craves attention, so this is not a good option. I suggested that she give Feliway a try, since this cat seems to be in panic mode, and it might calm her, but I'm sure that the DU cat experts would be able to provide much more insight than I can. She sounds as if she is at the end of her tether and I know that she would be extremely grateful for anything that you all can suggest. Thank you all in advance.

Rhiannon :-)

Well, today was not a good day. I have to find this kitty a new foster home or something. I have bought her catnip, toys, etc., and a new one even yesterday. I let her have the run of my large room again last night and we all played with her for an hour. Well, today she was banging up against the bedroom door at 6:30am, waking up the dogs and making them bark and freak out. I fed her, spent some time with her, BUT she wouldn't stop. I found out later that she ripped my carpet to shreds by the door. I am not happy and neither is my husband. The carpet was not new, but in great shape since it is a spare room. Now I am forced to crate her, which is worse. Now she will tear at the blankets and dump her litter box, I assume. I may be forced to let my petsitter try her, again, at her house with 30 cats. I don't want to, but at least there she can have the run of the house. I think she would be o.k. with another cat, but 30 may be overwhelming. She just wants to be with us. It is so sad. I don't know what to do. Animalovers was suppose to take her. I e-mailed them six times with no response. I asked questions and still no one has called or e-mailed me. I feel abandoned. That was last week and this week. The girl who got me to take the cats said to just call her if I have a problem. Well, I have called twice with no response. Do you think your other friend in animal rescue may know someone who could foster her, by chance? I hate to have her in a crate, especially since she is used to being loose in a large room. She is crying all the time. I am just sick about this. And, of course, I am leaving for vacation on Thursday. This stuff always seems to happen right before vacation to ruin it for me. I feel guilty now after you said how nice it was for me to take the cats and now I am stumped about what to do with her. Leaving her in a crate is just killing me. Any suggestions? Thanks for listening.

[jukes]

1. Rhi

your friend has some problems, that's for sure. am beginning to believe she's over her head & needs to let this girl live w/ the thirty others. surprisingly, they adapt quickly to that environment (keep this private, please, but i have more than that.)

leaving for vacation is the biggest problem. if she keeps her, she'll have to kennalize her for duration. she needs 1 recommended by a vet, & tour the premises 1st. some kennels are horrid, others wonderful.

if the dogs live outside, let her roam the house; the more territory, the calmer she'll be. she'll probably sleep under their bed, or in it 9if she's scared.

she can trim the claws, or have a vet do it, to prevent damage. *gently* squeeze each pad, the claw will extrude. clip only the tip, about 1/8th inch, w/nail clippers. if the cat starts to resist, let her rest & resume later.

the head butting won't damage the cat, their skulls are thick & dense.

no-kill shelters are not a viable option, they seldom have vacancies. she cd post fotos/notice @ vets.

her vet may readily 'scribe a mild trank, to ease her through the transition. if not, a single benadryl tablet, 30 min's before lights-out, will do her no harm & will calm her. make sure there's plenty of water if they use benadryl

ck your PM in 5 minutes for some info i don't want to post publicly.

[jukes]

2. kicking

to keep this alive till Rhi sees it.

:kick:

[Rhiannon12866]

8. Thanks so much for the kick. Now, here is mine

I guess that the cat lovers on DU have retired early on a Saturday night, odd for them. But I appreciate the kick so that someone else might see it and respond. My friend was so thrilled with the replies that she received to the other thread I posted, that I would hate to let her down, though there is already a wealth of information here. You all are the best!
:loveya:

[Rhiannon12866]

3. Thank you for all this and I agree that she does have some problems

and I think the fact that she is going on vacation is bringing this to a head and causing her to panic a little, more than she would otherwise. Also, the the disruption in her household is putting additional pressure on her to do something to resolve the situation.

The biggest problem is that she can't keep the cat. She is pretty torn up about this, as I posted the other day, because she feels that the cat is starting to bond with her and she feels guilty because this poor kitty has already been through enough. The main problem is her two dogs. They are indoor dogs and they do not like cats. So she has had to keep them separated. She is afraid for the cat if she ever encountered the dogs. She also said that her husband is allergic, but he seems to have been a pretty good sport about all this, and he'd have to be to be married to someone in this type of work, until the 6:30am incident and the business with the carpet.

I know that she has a kennel that she trusts, since she has boarded her dogs there. She now has a petsitter, however, who looked after this cat, the other mother and her two kittens, and my friend's two dogs, the last time she had to go away. The cats stayed with the petsitter, since the petsitter didn't feel comfortable leaving them alone with the dogs. This cat, however, as I have said, prefers being an only cat, so this can only be a temporary measure.

The kitty has been to the vet, since she had all her inoculations and tests, which were, thankfully, negative, and she was spayed two weeks ago.

Since she is involved with a rescue organization, with ties to other rescue groups, she knows all about the area shelters and this is not an option. I don't know how many in her area are no-kill, but she saved this kitty from euthanasia once, so she's not going to take any chances. She's either looking for a private adoption or for help from a group like Animalovers, who sponsored this kitty's four kittens at a PetsMart adoption clinic. My vet has his second practice at a PetsMart, so I know that these are always very well attended. I have almost walked out with a kitty or two, myself, more than once! However, this mother kitty needed to be spayed before she was eligible. This has now been taken care of.

Her main worry, as I said on my previous post, is that there is nothing spectacular about this kitty that would cause her to stand out enough that someone would say "I want that one!" You know what it's like, there are just too many animals and not enough responsible homes. And I know my friend, she would only place her in a home that she felt sure would give her the best care, and, even then, she would always worry.

I will pass on all this information, thank you so much. I suggested Rescue Remedy or Feliway to her, to calm the kitty, which would be preferable to a tranquilizer, but we'll have to see how it goes. This may be her only alternative.

[davsand]

4. Is the cat eating and using the litter box?

I may be WAAAAY off base here, but if the cat is eating and using her box, then it sounds to me like it is just a matter of finding a place for the cat to be where she's not surrounded by huge amounts of activity.

If the cat is actively trying to seek out time and contact with humans, it doesn't sound like she's really in THAT bad of shape mentally, and I can't imagine that adoption would be an issue for any cat THAT well socialized.

Cats DO scratch--it is part of how they exercise muscle groups. Scratching is as natural to a cat as stretching is to people when they are tired or when they get out of bed in the morning. I'm betting the carpet was a target of opportunity more than anything--it probably gives the cat a great gripping surface...

Trimming the claws is probably a good idea, however, simply to protect the rest of the household till the cat calms down. Cat scratches can get infected pretty easily, and if the cat nails one of the dogs an abscess could be a possible outcome for the hapless dog.

Something else I'd suggest, would be a really BIG cat scratching post--one that the cat can climb and even sit on.

Your friend can make one pretty cheaply by getting a big branch from a tree (think about three inches in diameter at the base as a starting point) and nailing it to a square of plywood. Leave the bark on--it is a great surface for kitties to scratch on.

It is pretty easy to nail a board into a fork where branches spread, and the cat can climb and sit on it. Hang stuff off it so the cat can swat at it. If the cat is a "Nip head" then sprinkle a fair amount of nip around the base and on the shelf to attract the cat to it initially.

Another really great cat thing to do on the cheap is to take an old tube sock (previously worn by someone the cat likes) and stuffing other socks and cat nip inside it along with a pill bottle with rice or beans in it so it rattles. Tie the sock closed and let the cat wrestle with it. The cat will rake it with hind claws and even try and do a "kill bite" on it while it wrestles with it. It will look like a big old sausage, but the cat is gonna love it...

Frankly, it sounds to me like the cat is craving attention more than anything else--but that is just my take on it. Seems a shame to dope the poor thing up just because it wants some love--ya know?

I'd suggest maybe calling some of the vet clinics in the area and asking if THEY have anyone who might want a kitty in need of love. I have never known anyone who worked in a clinic who DIDN'T have a few "found" cats around.

IF the cat is not eating and is exhibiting signs of anxiety, then maybe a low dose of Valium would be a good choice. I have seen it work WONDERS on anxious cats who stop eating--turns them into eating machines!

Best of luck to your friend and her kitty pal. This is never easy!

Laura

[Rhiannon12866]

6. Thank you so much! What a wealth of great suggestions!

Yes, the cat is eating, but will only eat canned food now, after returning from the vet when she was spayed.

I assume that she is using the litterbox. My friend is afraid that she will dump the box if she is crated, so it sounds like she has done this before.

She is sequestered in my friend's spare room, so she's not surrounded by activity, but she objects to being left alone. That's a big problem. My friend can't spend all her time in there and the cat cries and gets all upset. The room is quite large, as I understand it. It is necessary that she be in there to keep her separated from my friend's dogs. They do not like cats and she is afraid of what they might do to her if there was a confrontation. That's the biggest problem. She would probably be better if she had the run of the house, but this just cannot happen because of the dogs.

Thank you for the scratching post suggestion! Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?! I am familiar with those scratching posts. I know someone whose cat has a cat tree. It goes from floor to ceiling with little perches for the cat at various levels. That cat has become quite an acrobat. I will definitely pass this on.

The sock toy is another great suggestion. My cat's favorite toy was one that rattled and she would shoot it all over the room, as if she was possessed, when I was alone with her late at night. And this was a cat that I at first thought was feral, LOL! I rescued her from outside.

I agree that tranquilizing her should only be used as a last resort. I suggested both Rescue Remedy and Feliway to her, as a way of calming the cat, but I don't think that she has tried these yet. You're right that the kitty is craving attention. That is a big problem. My friend does make time for her and the whole family (husband and little boy) will spend time playing with her, but she needs more. Maybe your toy idea is good enough that she will play with it on her own, like my cat did.

As for calling vet clinics, they already have cats up for adoption at mine. I asked at both of them, however, and they said that they would let me know, but they didn't sound optimistic. I haven't heard anything. I am sure that she has tried everyone she can think of. That's such a huge problem in this country, too many animals for the number of responsible homes. The petsitter who looked after her and the others (My friend was fostering two young mother cats with six kittens between them. The others have finally been placed.) while my friend was away would take her, but this is not a good option since this woman already has 30 cats! If she's unhappy at the amount of attention that she's getting now, this would not be the ideal home for her. My friend has also said that, after this experience, she thinks she would be happiest as an only cat or with no more than one other one.

The thing that is breaking my friend's heart is that there is nothing striking about her that would cause her to stand out in a crowd, like at an adoption clinic. She is just a lonely cat that craves a lot of love and attention. Who knows what she has been through? My friend names her Raya, meaning "ray of hope."

Thanks for all the great suggestions! I will pass these on right away!:D

[VoteDemocratic2004]

5. I think that the Kitty needs to be with someone

That only has one or possibly no other Cats.

Something might have happened in her past and she is afraid of other cats or she might be antisocial.

If she is peeing she is marking territory because she feels like she has no little corner of the house to call her own.

What area of the country is she in? Maybe one of the Cat lovers of DU can take another cat on.

Good Luck

:hug:

[Rhiannon12866]

7. Thank you so much! I certainly agree with you

Ideally, she needs a stay-at-home Mom, or Dad.

I also agree that she was probably traumatized. Who knows what this poor kitty has had to go through? I will give you the background, since I have been going back and forth with my friend on this from the day she first acquired the kitties and asked everyone that she knew, mostly others in rescue, if they could help or had any ideas. A friend of hers showed up at her house crying. Someone had brought two very young mother cats, with six kittens between them, to be euthanized. Can you believe the irresponsibility and sheer callousness of some people?! This girl talked them out of it, then turned to my friend. My friend offered to foster them. The others have been finally been placed, though she is still worried about them. This is one of the young mothers and the only one that she has left. She could not take part in the PetsMart adoption clinic with her kittens because she had to be spayed first.

She has an entire large room of the house to call her own, but she craves human companionship and my friend just cannot be with her all the time. She works, I believe part-time now because her regular job is with special ed kids and it is summer, and has a little boy.

She is in New York State, Greene County, which is south of the Capital District, near Catskill or Hudson. Any Capital District DUers who would like a kitty that just craves love and attention? This just rips my heart out.;(

[nuxvomica]

11. I have my hands full with one cat, Rhiannon

But I'm kicking in case some cat-needy DUer has missed this.

[Rhiannon12866]

12. I just wish I could post a photograph

Since everyone has been so helpful. My friend sent me one via e-mail. She said that she's afraid that there isn't anything striking about this cat's appearance that would make her stand out from other adoptable kitties, but I think she's adorable. Her beautiful eyes melt my heart.
:loveya:

Thanks for the kick, nux!:hi:

[Rhiannon12866]

9. Kick! For the morning folks.

Maybe someone just logging on has some more helpful kitty ideas!:kick:

[Rhiannon12866]

10. One more time! And thanks!

:kick:

[jukes]

13. a kick

from jukes



:kick:

[Rhiannon12866]

14. Thank you, my friend

I have heard back from my friend twice and will post her e-mail. I am sure that she can use this great advice and suggestions, no matter what she decides.

I have had both cats and dogs. I have had dogs most of my life, but cats, only more recently. I wanted a kitty, most desperately, when I was a kid, but my mother was not fond of cats. I finally adopted two kitties several years ago when my uncle died and his unpleasant wife got rid of all his animals. Nobody would take his two cats and she just planned to drop them off at some shelter. This would have been a terrible thing, since one was very reclusive and the other one was the most amazing little being, the cat of a lifetime. I found them to be incredibly user-friendly, compared to my dogs. They required so much less care than my dogs. I didn't have to take them out. I just fed them and cleaned the boxes and enjoyed them. I love having cats.
:loveya:

[VoteDemocratic2004]

15. I feel so sorry for her

30 Cats is way too many cats.

I know she must have a heart of gold but that's too many cats and I don't know how she can keep up with their names and giving each one enough attention for it to feel loved.

[Rhiannon12866]

16. I agree with you about this and so does my friend

I told my friend that this woman has only one lap! But this is only a temporary measure, since she was worried about the kitty's behavior in her home, especially since she has two cat-unfriendly dogs. My friend said that she feels that this cat would be much happier as an only cat, or with just one other. This cannot be a good environment for her, no matter how much this woman loves and understands cats. I had two cats and two dogs and I worried about giving them all enough attention. How can this woman manage with 30?! But this woman is only fostering her; my friend hopes to find her another, more quiet, permanent home. Thanks so much for your concern.:-)

[wickerwoman]

17. I hate to contradict earlier advice,

but it sounds like this cat would be happier with at least one other cat. They really are very social animals. I've owned singletons and pairs of cats and the pairs are so much happier and healthier that I think it borders on cruelty to keep a single inside cat.

The cat is probably banging the door because she's bored and lonely. If she had a kitty friend to romp with she wouldn't have these problems. I would recommend she either go to a home with another compatible cat to play with or maybe your friend can borrow one of the catsitter's thirty for a few weeks as a companion until the cat is adopted.

The behavior sounds like it started after her kittens and the other cat left. Cats are nocturnal, so they are all much more active at night and early in the morning and they all scratch things up if you don't train them not too. You should see the state of my sofa from before I trained them to the scratching post. If your friend has an old piece of luggage she doesn't want anymore she should put it in with the cat so she can scratch it. It isn't malice- it's just how they stretch when they wake up. If she knows the cat's schedule she can grab it as it's waking up and put it on the approved scratching material.

Good luck again to your friend! She's doing God's work. :-)

[Rhiannon12866]

18. Thank you so much! I agree with you that kitties are happier

with a friend. I have found this also to be true with my dogs. My little guy had spent nine years with his biological sister, who was the leader, but, when his owner died, they were placed separately, which I thought was a terrible thing, as did his vet's office. He bonded immediately with my cocker spaniel, but I lost her six months later. This ripped my heart out. I adopted another dog, last fall, who he has come to look to for leadership, but I know that he will never love her as he did my Sheena. I agree, animals do have relationships. If I ever adopt another kitty, it will be with a compatible friend or littermate. Point well taken.


Thank you so much for my friend. I thank her so often for all that she does for the animals. This kind of work takes a very special kind of person.O8)

[Rhiannon12866]

19. I have an update on the kitty situation. It didn't turn out as I had hoped

My friend placed the kitty, temporarily, with the petsitter, the one who already has 30 cats. She's not happy about this, either, but felt that she had no other choice. However, this is just a foster situation, so she still hopes to find this kitty another home, hopefully a quiet one and one in which there are far fewer cats. Her petsitter lives only minutes away, so you can be sure that she will be monitoring the situation closely. Thanks so much for all the great advice. She really appreciates it because she still needs to find solutions for this kitty's behavior before she places her in a permanent home. Here's what she says:

Well, I tried. My petsitter took Raya for FOSTER. I am still trying to find her a home, but she would have had to stay in a cage practically the whole day if she stayed here. She hated that and tipped her litter box twice and her water and ripped the blankets around her inside her cage just as I knew she would. And she cried constantly. It tore me apart. I cried the whole day and even more when she left. Yes, I am quite the crier. She has become so affectionate towards us that she wanted to be with us all the time. People keep saying we could make it work, but I really believe that we can't. I have tested my dogs before with cats many times. I refuse to use her as a guinea pig and risk having her killed. Besides that, my husband cannot be around cats. So I will see how this goes. At least she will have access to the whole house with a spectacular cat condo to play in. And she will also be able to sleep with the foster mom. This is a better situation now than the one I can give her. I hope you understand. It is always tough for me when I take in pets. It breaks my heart every time, but it is hard to say no. I think I need a break for awhile. This has really taken a toll on me. Thank you for being there for me.

[jukes]

21. Rhiannon

i'm afraid it's for the best, even if the foster becomes permanent. i have an extremely large household, also, & it's surprising how well they adapt. some cling to the people in the house for awhile, but usu they end up bonding w/ another cat and adjust fine.

[Rhiannon12866]

22. Thank you for the reassuring words

and for sharing your expertise and giving so much advice. My friend is a neophyte with cats, so has really appreciated it, and I know that she also appreciated the support, since she was pretty much abandoned by the girl who prevailed on her to take in eight cats and the other rescue organizations that usually depends on.:-(

I just don't know how you and others do it. I am just as baffled as my friend. I took my uncle's cats after he died and they just didn't get along. And I only had two! There was no real violence, since one of them always backed down, but it did scare me. One of them bullied the other, so I always had to remove her from the situation. She was wonderful with people and my dogs, just not other cats. I never understood it, since the kitty that she bullied was older, bigger and had claws. But she always backed down. The one who was aggressive had been declawed!:o

Thanks so much for all your help and advice.:hi:

[notadmblnd]

20. I used Feliway when a cat adopted us last January

I had two other cats in the house at the time and they were not happy. The cat that adopted us was a tom and he was spraying when my other cats intimidated him. When I went to have him neutered, the vet told me it was behavioral and he would probably always spray. I was recommended Feliway by a lady at the pet store. It was a little expensive, but I think it was worth it. With in one application (it's like a plug in air freshener with cat pheromones that are calming) the spraying had entirely stopped. I also have to check the other two cats when they start their bullying. They're at the point for the most part that as long as they don't cross paths.. they tolerate each other.

[Lorien]

23. That's a great product

I used it when introducing my new kittens to each other and my elderly cat last year. no real fights occurred, and all of them adore one another now.

You can also get a stuffed toy cat or dog with an artificial heartbeat to put in the cage with her (often sold on large online pet supply sites, like Fosters and Smith). I've never used one, but supposedly they are fairly useful for calming insecure pets.

[Rhiannon12866]

25. Thanks for another great idea, Jen6!

I appreciate the cat expertise on DU!:-)


My friend also got the Feliway plug-in, just today. This was not yet available when I got it for my kitty. I just had the spray. My friend's cat seemed very interested, but we'll see how it goes. I will be very interested to hear how this turns out, both for him and notadmblnd and her kitties.:-)

[Rhiannon12866]

24. I am so glad to hear this. Thanks so much!

I got Feliway for my cat, who I rescued from outside, just to calm her. I have never had a spraying problem. I am so glad to hear that it worked for you for both.:-)

Feliway is a synthetic cat pheromone. Cats give off different pheromones that send different messages to other cats. This one is the one from their cheeks, that they leave behind when they rub their little faces against you, saying "you're mine and I love you." This is the reassuring one for cats.:-)

The Feliway I got was in a spray bottle, but I know that the plug-in variety is now also available. It may be more expensive than the other, but, I agree, it has to be worth it if it ensures a peaceable kingdom. I adopted my uncle's two cats when he died. The little one bullied the bigger one, so I am familiar with your problem. I wish that I had known about Feliway at the time. I only learned about it when I rescued my very skittish kitty from the outside.:shrug:

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. You deserve to be commended for rescuing this kitty and working to solve the problems that you encountered. Since my friend is in animal rescue, she will really appreciate this, as well. I will pass this on to my friend and hope that she is reassured that this can also work for her.:hi:

[Rhiannon12866]

26. The latest about this kitty

This is the latest e-mail that I have received from my friend about this rescued kitty. Thank you so much to everyone who has given advice and suggestions and support.:-)

You are ALWAYS a help. I appreciate all you have done for me. I thought about Raya all night and day today. I was so happy to have a message from my petsitter (the one who is fostering her now) that Raya is doing fine. She is sleeping on her bed with only an occasional whine. At least she is not alone. She has other cats and her foster mom and three dogs and also the run of the house. I just miss her so much. I have played with idea of keeping her many times (somehow), but my husband has made it perfectly clear that we can have no cats - his allergies bother him. My dogs are also so different, now that she is gone. They were stressed out and one was even losing hair. The night she left (last night), they were very loving and overly affectionate to me and very playful, so different. I guess they didn't like having her here. My petsitter had said this when we went away the first time, but I didn't believe her. Well, now I do. I will keep you posted on them. I am trying to find some cat condos that are not too expensive to give to my petsitter who is fostering Raya. She has one and loves it, but with so many cats I am sure she would love more. Do you have any ideas? I am sure PetsMart is expensive. I also checked the Want-Ad Digest. Also, you can send me your friend's e-mail address. I will always be open to fostering. I think that this summer has just been jinxed for me, so far. I am so glad I met you. You have been a great help and I am so glad you give me comfort when I need it. I hope I can do the same for you. Thanks again.

p.s. I have heard of Rescue Remedy, but with this cat, trust became the issue. She wanted to be with us, so would try to get out constantly. I would not have trusted her even if she had the remedy. I will visit her soon, once she is settled.