Wrestling fans: Who would win this cage match?

[Bertha Venation]

Is that what it's called? When two wrestlers fight each other inside a cage, so no one can get away?

I had to think of a way to turn this untenable situation -- my inability to make sense of the right wing nut job's pronouncements of the looks of liberal women, let alone all her other insipid, vile, bullshit hateful spew -- into utter absurdity!!

So, who would win this one, then?

In alphabetical order, the contestants are

[flamingyouth]

1. The smart money is on Bertha!

:hi:
And I want front-row seats, please! I'll make you a great sign! :D

[Bertha Venation]

4. it'll be a short match

the winner would be the one with a brain and a good self-image :bounce:

[flamingyouth]

5. That's the spirit!

:hug:

[bigwillq]

2. Bertha, Bertha, Bertha

The crowd cheers, Bertha takes Ann's hair and whips her against the cage. Ann tries to get up just before Bertha lays a leg kick to the gut. Bertha takes Ann's head and slams it down to the mat. Ann is unconscious.

Bertha makes a break for it, climbs the cage, is right at the top ready to make the descent down to win the match and out of no where, oh, no,

Ann is back up and climbing the cage....

[Bertha Venation]

3. yikes -- give that man a ringside announcer contract

That's far more interesting than any of the two-second snippets of wrestling that I've ever been able to force myself to watch. :D

[bigwillq]

6. Ann is half way up the cage as Bertha begins the descent down

Bertha is just second from victory but Ann is climbing fast and reached the top of the cage, she begins her downward climb and almost reached Bertha when....

Ok, we have to break now and pay some bills even though you bought this special for $109.99 on pay-per-view

We'll be right back

[Bertha Venation]

12. damn the inventor of the commercial

can't wait to see how this one turns out . . . come on, bigwillq, don't let me down!

[Dookus]

7. Bertha

would upset that piewagon in a second.

[bigwillq]

8. Upset?

What you talking 'bout?

Bertha is the reigning PWA (Political Wrestling Association) champion, 2 years running. Unstoppable.

[Bertha Venation]

16. She is?

What's her costume look like?

Dang, I like this thread. This is fun.

/unabashed conceit

[jukes]

9. BV

you'd kick her narrow little-boy behind! break her like a stick!


and then give her a lecture she'd never recover from!


:hi:

[bigwillq]

10. We're back folks with Bertha and Ann both at the top of the cage

Ann has her arms around Bertha, Bertha's trying to poke Ann's eyes out--oh no, Ann tosses Bertha back into the ring and Ann begins her descent down the cage to an almost certain victory--wait who is that flying...it looks like...

It's Michael Moore.... He is swinging from a rope attached to the stadium roof...Oh my God, what the hell is he doing here...

Michael swings onto the cage throws Ann back into the cage and helps Bertha from the cage and down to safety on the stadium floor...this is unbelievable...Michael Moore has done it again!!


He put the screws to the RETHUGS!!

Bertha WINS!! BERTHA WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bertha Venation]

14. aha!

Sounds more like Michael wins, but who cares. After all, Dean is the Man, but we'll be electing Kerry. It's a team effort, no?

So, when you gonna be sending out those resumes & demo tapes? Stu Nahan's got nothing on you.

(he's the only ringside announcer I could think of, and I think he only did it in one of the "Rocky" movies.)

[MrScorpio]

11. Bertha, You'd kick her skinny ass from here to next Tuesday

And I'd be loving every minute of it.

[Bertha Venation]

13. Hi, MrScorpio!

:bounce:

Thanks for the vote of confidence. (I need the comfort. Seeing Howard Dean speaking tonight, I'm a big fucking crybaby.)

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. You'd tear her limb from limb.