Why can't I date more than one woman?

[Jack_Dawson]

Didn't people used to "date" different people? I tend to meet these girls who I hit it off with, but a couple weeks go by and then they give me the "relationship" ultimatum.

I hate ultimatums...it's summer and I don't want to stress out. Why can't we keep it casual and stress-free? Maybe I'm living in a dream world. Do people just date anymore?

:beer:

[MrSandman]

1. Why can't I padddle two canoes?

[Jack_Dawson]

2. LOL

Not EXACTLY the same, but points for humor.

[name not needed]

3. Why can't I have two penises?

:P

[Feanorcurufinwe]

4. Because they won't have you.

Some realities, we just have to live with.

[aquart]

5. Because you might be able to defend yourself from one angry woman...

but two would surely kill you. And three or more would be able to do terrible, unthinkable things to anatomy you cherish BEFORE they kill you.

Is it all clear now?

[Jack_Dawson]

7. When you put it like that...

everything has crystallized for me. Thanks Aquart! :toast:

[Lexingtonian]

13. I was about to say something of the kind

But here's the short version: try it and Find Out....

If the lies, gifts demanded, suspicions, recriminations, jealousies, and 'tests' don't do it, you're fine. Just make sure neither of them is 'fiery' or depressive-suicidal. From personal experience, be careful around Mediterranean women when there is a knife in the room when the phrase 'let's talk about The Situation' crops up.... :-)

[Nikia]

6. I think dating is a bit too serious now

My relationship with my husband worked out alright, but for the first couple months, I thought things had gotten too serious, too quickly. I felt like I was married already even though I didn't know him very well. The previous spring, I had dated a guy for only a brief time and when he broke up with me, it felt like a divorce. That's how most relationships on my college campus seemed. There were people who had casual one night stands who they cared nothing about and people who were in serious relationships. If you had more than two dates, you were expected to be in a serious relationship. I think this is a lot of pressure and a lot of heart break. I am not saying that people should sleep around. Perhaps, there is something to waiting. It just seems like many people are in engagement type relationships after knowing each other for only a short period of time where they expect monagamy and constant devotion.

[Jack_Dawson]

8. Amen Nikia

That's all I'm sayin'! So what are you doing next Friday?





J/K!

:toast:

[TroubleMan]

9. There's two ways you can do this

The best way is to be upfront about it before you date. Don't act like you're trying to be some type of man-whore, just say before hand that you see someone, but it's not serious.

Most women are mature enough to not have a big problem with it if you present in a respectful way before you get involved. Of course some women are not down with this at all. However, if the woman agrees with this, don't trip if she dates somebody else, too.


Of course, you can sneak, but it's a pain in the ass, and it's dishonest. You do it long enough, and you'll eventually get caught (well...not always).

[Robb]

11. LOL!

Damn! That man-whore thing always gets me! :D

[TroubleMan]

16. I have to admit this:

You have to act like you're just trying to figure out what you're going to do...not try to act like some player.

In truth, I've used that first approach, but the whole reason was so that I could be more of a man-whore. I know that's shady - I was lying about my motivations, but I was honest about seeing other people. Well, I wans't completely dishonest about my motivations....I wasn't wanting to get serious (at least not in a hurry), and I was up front about it.

[jdonaldball]

10. Why would you want twice as much agony?

[supernova]

12. Well you can date around

certainly. But, make it clear you are not interested in a serious relationship, just some romantic but nonsexual fun.

[belladonna]

14. Sure they do

You just need to be upfront about it and don't buy into that ultimatum crap. Be really clear about what it is you want from the first date and if you're still getting the ultimatums, you might wanna make sure you're not giving off "serious guy" vibes.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

15. I don't know, why can't you?

Me and my friends did it in college, and that was the late 80s, early 90s. We just dated. Casually. Sometimes couples would get serious, most of the time not.

Some weeks I'd have five dates. Not bragging or anything, just the truth. I went to a very very social university, LOL!

Go for it!

[JVS]

17. Just tell them that you want to be friends when they give the ultimatum

[Ready4Change]

18. Define date.

Do you mean dinner and a movie, or do you mean "something more", or do you mean a WHOLE lot more?

Also, how up front are you about things? Do you let these ladies know right off the bat about your intentions of "dating" multiple women? Do they accept that? If they don't, do you drop out, or do you lead them along?

Generally, the further beyond dinner and a movie you go, the closer to a monogamous most people want the relationship to be. And if you're not honest about your intent, the more pissed people will be about how far the relationship went before your intent became clear.