If Ann Coulter were an accident, what kind would she be?

[MrScorpio]

And how big is the body count?

[Spiffarino]

1. Two passenger trains...

...about 40 cars each, every seat full, meeting head-on at 75 mph inside a deep tunnel. Nobody escapes. Oh, the humanity.

[DBoon]

2. A mistake of Dr. Frankenstein

He dropped a barbi doll into his frankenstein machine, and out came ANN COULTER....

(inspired by: http://www.tvparty.com/lostshrimp.html)

[ashling]

3. You are obsessed with Ann Coulter aren't you?

I mean that in a evil sort of good way :evilgrin:

[givemebackmycountry]

4. This is easy

Union Carbide.
Bothal, India.

Horrible.

She a walking, talking superfund site with a strap-on.

[Jack Rabbit]

5. Jack Napier fell into a vat of acid . . .

. . . and emerged as the Joker.

No, scratch that. The Joker is witty.

[LTR]

6. Diarrhea

Is that a bad enough accident for you?

[Spiffarino]

7. Only if...

...it's the kind you get after eating a fly-encrusted piece of three-day-old pork butt that's been sitting in the blazing sun in the slums of Calcutta.

[LiberalVoice]

8. An alien invasion by means of...

injecting a lethal virus that turns women into anorexic right-wing fundies that spew such hatred no man will touch them. There by bringing all of human procreation to a grinding halt. But, not before all infected women skin the live carcasses of the few uninfected humans and eat them raw.

We're talkin 6 billion dead here people!!!!

Good enough?

[Name removed]

9. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[rwenos]

10. There's a Limerick on Point

Has to do with a romantic evening in Rangoon, conception by moonlight, and a novel method of artificial insemination.

Obviously, she'd be an accidentally-conceived child. With any luck, she'd be aborted.

[InkAddict]

13. Accidentally inserted head into .....

By the sewer I lived
And by the sewer I died
They said it was murder
But it was sewer-cide

[AlCzervik]

11. I think of "Her" more as a plague or

disease rather than an accident.

[InkAddict]

12. Radiation Monitor at Perry Nuclear Plant in Ohio Malfunctions

in response to latest column.

The alert is the second lowest in seriousness of four emergency classifications ranked by federal regulators.

http://channels.attbusiness.net/index.cfm?fuseAction=viewNewsArticle&nav_id=33&category_name=National&article_id=210a3e4bcd79d25865f003133377c78e

[thebaghwan]

14. A miscarriage

n/t

[displacedyankeedem]

15. Chernobyl.....

but without the few pieces of quality-control that that Soviet built piece of slag had.

[umtalal]

16. George W. Bush birth canal!

[JSJ]

17. the kind you get when ilsa, shewolf of the ss...

...collides with the 'Bad Seed'.

[Hubert Flottz]

18. I think she already was one!

The hole in the condom type!

[EstimatedProphet]

19. She's a genetic flub

The kind of thing you see at carny sideshows, like the batboy or the snake woman. That kind of thing.
It's "the Bizarre Mystery of the Ann Coulter"

[BringEmOn]

20. The hospital threw out the baby and kept the afterbirth

[cheezus]

21. The only instance of gay sex resulting in a lovechild

[TXlib]

30. Isn't that what lawyers are?

[arwalden]

22. Montezuma's Revenge...

... filling Rick Santorum shorts to the brim and dripping down his legs because the nearest restroom is too far away to get there quickly enough. (And when he got there it was out-of-order anyway.)


http://www.spreadingsantorum.com

[arwalden]

23. Santorum Definition (Again)

[skypilot]

24. A tumble into the wood chipper.

*

[arwalden]

26. Ewww... Remember Fargo?

[skypilot]

28. I sure do.

And since Coulter is so Fargone, this would be perfect for her. Ba dum bump.

[TXlib]

25. It would be reported as a train wreck

with a massive body count.

Upon verification, it would be determined to have been a Yugo hitting a telephone pole, the driver wandering drunkly away.

[Spiffarino]

27. Mmmm...

...good sarcasm!

[No2W2004]

29. the kind of "accident"

you get when 4 or 5 mullet-heads are out drinking and one says "HEY Y'ALL! WATCH THIS!"