I will be 25 in a little over 2 months and I am a virgin.

[coloradodem2005]

Is there something wrong with me?

[bloodyjack]

1. you're just not trying hard enough...

try harder, to the brink of exhaustion...

and after that...

TRY REALLY HARD

[coloradodem2005]

2. Why?

So I can end up with nothing?

[bloodyjack]

7. love and lust are fleeting

either way you end up with nothing.

TO WHOM WILL YOU ANSWER WHEN YOUR BODY CAN ASK NO MORE

[noahmijo]

3. well it's better than being a whore

:shrug:

[coloradodem2005]

5. Just the other extreme

Not much better

[JVS]

4. Don't worry about it.

There are much more important things. Prepare a good life for yourself. And if the sex thing is bugging you, find a hooker.

[coloradodem2005]

Why? Because that's all I'm good for?

[JVS]

10. Because it is a good way to take care of it, if it is bugging you

Take it easy, there are worse things than being a virgin. For example being a soldier in Iraq. Now that is something that would really suck.

[aquart]

6. Don't try at all. Go to a party. Do nothing. Look happy.

Look radiant with joy. Begin to glow.

See who comes to warm his hands.

[coloradodem2005]

8. Her.

I am a straight male

[ugarte]

11. Look, if it were really a big issue to you

you probably would have done something about it. You obviously have other priorities, so don't stress over it.

[aquart]

12. Same rules apply.

[Th1onein]

23. I think you're more worried about your "performance" than you are

being a virgin. Stop worrying about something you can't do anything about. Just have fun. It will happen soon enough.

[coloradodem2005]

24. It hasn't happened thus far.

Why do you think that it will ever happen? It has happened for almost every one else. But isn't for me.

[Th1onein]

27. I think it hasn't happened because you're holding your breath for it

Usually that's the way these things go. When you let go, and just be yourself, and stop worrying about it, it will happen. I know that that sucks, but it is usually how things work in this world.

[WindRavenX]

9. You probably don't want to hear this...

...but the act of sex, in this society at least, is incredibly overrated. The best thing in the world, IMHO, is intimacy. Sex and intimacy should be linked, but all too often I see random hook ups; no intimacy. If sex is what you seek- just the mere act- then it will find you. I looked for it, and lost my virginity in a drunken, forgettable incident after a party. Was it fun? Sure. Did it feel good? Can't remember.
But intamacy...that was nirvana. To find another person I loved and to share myself in a conscious state of mind was an incredibly spiritual event- every single time.
That's just my opinion...I speak as a college student who stressed incredably about going to college as a virgin. As it turns out, sex in the "college" mindset is something I do not desire; I desire love and intimacy.

[aquart]

13. Very true.

Preparing a meal and eating it together is intimate. Sex, less so. There are plenty of people you'd have sex with that you wouldn't want around for a meal.

[WindRavenX]

15. sex should be intimate

For me, it is very very very important to be 100% comfortable with the person I'm with- no body hang-ups, no negative thoughts- nada. Intimacy is becoming linked with that person, and sex is a very important part of intimacy IMHO.
I guess I just wanted coloradodemocrat to know that there is much, much more than just sex out there...unfortunatly, the problem with that is that it results in vulnerability and the introduction of heartbreak, and even death (not to suggest that intimacy CAUSES death, but, again from my experience, once you know the depth of the human heart...you also realize the true nature of death).

[CandyCrim21]

14. I agree.........

and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I think its admirable and don't blow it all on someone you don't care about because there is way too much crap floating around out there to risk it casually. ;) Don't think its you. Alot of girls are too shallow to care whats really going on. Wait till you find someone who does care. It'll rock!;)

[coloradodem2005]

25. How do you know I will find someone who does care?

I haven't yet. And my life is in shambles.

[Lorien]

17. Very true

plus, random hook ups can be dangerous these days, even with protection.

So, Coloradodem, why do you think you're still a virgin? Have you ever been seriously involved with a woman, or has the right one not presented herself yet?

[CandyCrim21]

20. Its true.

and now there are even diseases on the rise that not even condoms can protect you from. Its just not worth it.

[coloradodem2005]

26. Have not been involved with a woman.

I doubt that I ever will be.

[bloodyjack]

16. actually the problem is that NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU

[bloodyjack]

18. Actually did you know...

Kierkegaard died a virgin? And he was a nice guy, right?

[kiahzero]

19. Yeah, except for Christian Existentialism

He'd fit right in as a goth these days. Could be worse, though - could be a nihilistic existentialist.

[WindRavenX]

21. gaaah Kierkegaard...

I could not STAND reading "Fear and Trembling" for my theology class....SOOOOOO boring.

[CandyCrim21]

22. Well.......LOL

No wonder!!:nopity:

[coloradodem2005]

28. Just goes to show that assholes are the only ones who get anything...

...in life. How else do you think that that motherfucker got into the WH?

[MildyCC]

38. Not nice enough, evidently

[coloradodem2005]

29. Why?

Other people are easily understood. Why not me? Another barrier between me and life.

[NightTrain]

30. No.

[flamingyouth]

31. There is nothing wrong with you

Way too much emphasis is placed on losing one's virginity.

[guitar man]

32. Dude, if you want to score

you have to be a little bit aloof, but not arrogant. The one thing I have found to be a turn-off with most women I've known is desperation. Wanna drive a woman crazy? Ignore her. When I say ignore her, I don't mean turn your back when she enters the room. Be nice and polite to her, just make sure she gets the impression that if you don't get any lovin' from her, hey, it's no big deal.

It might take some practice, but throw in a dash of confidence with the above recipe and trust me, you'll be bangin' in no time. Also, be honest with yourself about what types of women YOU like. Don't let your choices be influenced by what your friends like or might think. you'll be better off in the long run.

Good Luck!

[ringmastery]

33. do yourself a favor and go to vegas and get laid

The brothels outside of Vegas are legal and very safe. All the girls are tested for STD's every two weeks and condoms are required for every sexual act.

Look, this virgin thing is obviously bothering you, so stop bitching about it and do something about it.

Believe me, it'll be the best $500 you ever spent in your life. Talk to the girl. She's yours for the night. Ask her what she likes guys to do to her. Ask her what turns her on. Learn. Gain confidence.

Just do it and stop stressing.

Get it over with.

There's no need for the mental exhaustion. And there's no stigma to going to a whore to lose your virginity. Stop caring what other people think. Live your life the way you want to live it and fuck the rest of the world.

If being a 25 year old virgin bothers you, do something about it.

[KG]

34. do you look anything like this guy?

could be part of the problem.

[MildyCC]

39. Part?

That's PLENTY enough reason.

[coloradodem2005]

46. No.

I don't look like that guy. Not even close.


Who is that guy?

[Terran]

47. Why, what's wrong with him?

I think he's kinda cute...nice smile. A genuine smile goes a long way in my book. And I like glasses and goatees.

Coloradodem, if the virginity thing is dragging you down, you might actually want to take that advice about going to Vegas and paying to get laid at a safe, legal brothel. I think you'll find sex is overrated, but I don't think that's what you're really looking for. Sounds to me like you simply want someone to love you. All I can say to that is, it does happen, and when you least expect it.

[Sven77]

35. send me a photo, I may be able to help you.

Student sells virginity on web

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/3429769.stm

sex is great, get a drunk partner and have wild sex. its better than any depression or anxiety medication.

[lil-petunia]

36. well, if there is anything we can do to help

[izzie]

37. I would say you have not missed a lot.

So be it.

[SarahB]

40. I had two kids by your age.

I think there was something more weird about that.
In fact, I can have sex anytime I want. I could go out to the grocery store right now and if I so desired, could pick up any number of men and have sex this morning if I wanted (I never have and wouldn't do that, but I could theoretically). I'm a reasonably cute women, so obtaining sex is easy and as far as the mechanics and physical release of it go, I like it. That being said, I have never experienced it from the perspective of being completely in love and just being able to let go without worry. Someone who can open himself to me and vice versa without limitations, without unspoken, unresolved issues that never go away. I unexpectedly got pregnant and married a good friend who was sort a f*ck buddy 13 years ago thinking that's all there was, maybe afraid of anything more. No my friends, sex is not overrated, but I'd say wait for love anyway.

[MildyCC]

41. All attractive women

can have sex any time they want...one of life's basic "unfair truths."

[SarahB]

43. Being attractive just means more people are attracted to you.

It doesn't guarantee love or happiness and means little in regard to a lot of the important stuff. It doesn't keep pain in life away. I've gone through periods of life where I was more attractive and less attractive and basically the main difference is the level of sexual harassment one gets.

[MildyCC]

44. I was just commenting

on the "attractive woman = can have sex any time she chooses" aspect. Not getting into love or happiness or anything else there!

[SarahB]

45. I know.

Not trying to fight or anything. Just pointing out other stuff too.

Peace. :hippie:

[Ellen Forradalom]

42. Absolutely not

It's not when you do it, but how good it is. Just keep an eye open for a special someone.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

48. Not particularly. Are there any reasons why you think it hasn't happened?

[coloradodem2005]

49. I don't know.

I have had a lot of bad experiences with women and have practically given up on trying anymore.

[Aristus]

50. My sympathies are all with you coloradodem2004.

I used to feel like you. I lost my virginity at seventeen because I was in an awful rush to fit in. I wish now that I hadn't rushed things. If I hadn't jumped in out of desperation I would have been a virgin until I was twenty-one. My first experience was with a girl I barely knew, and rarely spoke to again afterward. I was scared and unsure of myself, and it wasn't a pleasant time.
Later on, I stopped trying to be cool and popular and the life of the party. People liked me a lot more when I was no longer surrounded by the stench of desperation. When I was able to relate to a woman solely as a friend and an equal, THEN the girls started swarming out of the woodwork. :-)

I'm happily married now, and having the best sex of my life, because of the love, respect and intimacy my wife and I share.

Good luck to you, my friend.

BTW, I noticed you like hiking. Do you belong to a hiking club? There must be many healthy, fit and attractive women who belong to a local hiking organization. Go for it!

[coloradodem2005]

51. I am not worried about finding love.

I am not desparate for it. I have just given up completely.


Not part of a hiking club. I can assure you if I joined one that all the women would either be involved/married and if they were not, they would not be interested in me.

[skypilot]

52. There is nothing wrong with you.

Your post made me think of a movie I saw several years ago. I don't remember the name of the movie but Isabelle Huppert was in it and in one scene she tells this guy that she is a nymphomaniac and also a virgin. He asks her how she can be both and she says simply, "I'm choosy".

[SarahB]

54. That sounds like me.

Obviously, I'm not a virgin (I have children), but I don't have many notches on my belt and that's just fine with me because the kind of man I'd want to be a nympho with wouldn't be the kind of man who'd treat me like another notch in his. I'm not judging anyone else, but for me, I'd rather wait and take care of things myself than be with the wrong person for the wrong reasons (or just one reason). For me, it takes a special man to make me want to segue into a sexual relationship because emotionally I need to know that it would actually have some meaning for him and he would truly cherish what I had to offer.

[MissMillie]

53. I think you are wise

to wait. Sex isn't really any good until you're older anyway.

[Blue-Jay]

55. Join a local theatre company.

Even if it means building sets or running lights on a volunteer-basis. You'll meet lots of women your age, most of whom are liberals and very engaging. They also throw the best parties.

and you'll get laid.

[coloradodem2005]

57. I doubt that.

n/t

[Blue-Jay]

58. Well...sitting around doing nothing won't work either.

At least you'll have tried. Even if somethng like that (anything!) doesn't result in a relationship, you'll have met new friends, and that's more than nothing. Stop wallowing and DO something. As I see it, you've nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Good luck, brah.

[Solly Mack]

56. No. In the rush to get there, all too many overlook the scenery

those people who overlook the scenery can't drive worth a shit :)

Sit back. Enjoy the view. You'll learn more that way and your passengers will be happier.