Join "ConservativeMatch" dating service (can you believe this?)

[The Sushi Bandit]

http://www.conservativematch.com/?referrer_code=google;campaign_code=republican_singles

ConservativeMatch is not simply another dating site, we are a real community of people who share conservative values. Our site offers much more than matchmaking, we bring people together for friendship, romance and marriage.

[MnFats]

1. Ummmm, please don't accuse me of being a pervert, but...

...what's the guy in the photo at right doing to that woman?
...I thought sex in public places went out among conservatives with that Illinois Senate candidate.
....conservative values, my ass!

[ForrestGump]

7. That's why, under "I'm looking for," the choices are:

Male
Female
No preference

:o

[PhuLoi]

2. These are stock photos available for $30 for 300,000 pics.

It is very appropos; a cheesy dating service, for cheesy people, featuring cheesy pics.

[supernova]

3. Funny, those photos

are of people who are most likely liberal.

I don't find that conservative types are too anxious to socialize outside their white race. And the couple in the "funny" second pic could be mistaken for a biracial couple. Heh. Riiiiight.

[ForrestGump]

6. You mean this picture?

The one of the two gay biracial couples getting together for a picnic? :D

I mean, c'mon, the way that dude's looking at the other...

[screwfacecapone]

43. i knew i've seen that pic before

there are a gillion other 'theme' dating sites by that company that use the same logos, framing, and fonts.

[AntiCoup2K4]

4. Damn conservative cowards! Won't let you browse their ads.....

...without signing up first. Sorry, I get too much right wing spam in my e-mail already.

[MrScorpio]

5. Whoa!!! DORK ALERT!!!

Get out of the gene pool dammit!

[Reverend_Smitty]

8. Why Chaste Couples Don't Divorce

Some statistics-One out of two marriages end in divorce. If both partners were chaste before marriage (that is, they had not engaged in premarital sex) their marriage has an 84 percent likelihood of lasting (Dr. James Dobson, Focus on the Family). If they remain chaste after marriage (that is, do not use contraception or sterilization to prevent unintended births) this number jumps to 95 percent (Father Paul Marx, Human Life International). Some studies show even lower divorce rates. These comparisons only apply fully in a society where contraception is readily available and couples willingly forego their use.

http://www.conservativematch.com/pl/pages/home/index.html?sc=IJLYOOQVZJFNHGIE

right...like I'm gonna believe anything James Dobson says

[ForrestGump]

10. Hey...good timing

Actually, I tried to post mine a few minutes ago but, when I submitted it I got -- instead of returning to the thread -- a picture of Lindsay Lohan. I don't know where that came from. Surely this is some kind of sign...

[MisterP]

27. contraceptives cause divorce!

evil Pill!

[realisticphish]

40. a GOOD sign

:evilgrin:

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

33. OMG

that guy has completely lost it. If he ever had it.

So let me get this straight: if you didn't have sex before you got married and if you pump out a baby a year, you have a 95% chance of staying together?

Damn, that means me and the hubby shoulda been divorced YEARS ago.

[Kat45]

36. You know, this could actually make sense. Think about it:

If both spouses had not engaged in premarital sex, they won't know the difference if the sex sucks. They have nothing to compare it to, no expectations. And since sexual issues are often involved in reasons that cause the divorce, that eliminates that whole issue, thus divorce is less likely. However, I don't get the "chaste after marriage" shit. That makes no sense whatsoever.

[liberalhistorian]

46. LOL!

One of the funniest bumper stickers I ever saw said "Focus on your Own Damned Family", a slam on Dobson's hateful, meddling, self-righteous reich wing group Focus on the Family.

[rockymountaindem]

58. That particular one has lots of meaning for us here in Colorado Springs

I live in the dark shadow of Focus' headquarters. I even took an AP test there during high school. It was one of the few large facilities for rent where 80 people could take a test.

[ForrestGump]

9. There's an article on there that claims that 'chaste' couples don't

divorce.

But, wait a minute...wasn't Ronnie Reagan divorced? :o

You mean....Ronnie might have engaged in premarital sex?!?????? :o





Hey, if it wasn't for premarital sex I'd have had no libidinous activity at all with my wife...

[Blue-Jay]

11. I'm fighting an odd desire to join and screw with 'em.

Could be funny. Post all kinds of crazy shit in the profile and see what happens. :D

[Reverend_Smitty]

12. I was thinking the same thing too...

I want to do it just to read some of the profiles, but I'm afraid if I sign up I will get spammed...maybe I need to get a Yahoo account going.

[VOX]

32. More than one way to win converts!

Do your work well, and you could make many liberal souls! :evilgrin:

[MrScorpio]

13. I too have a hankerin' to join and go all freeper in there

and see what happens

"Hi, my name is Clint. I love hunting and fishing and I am looking for the perfect line dancing partner. Could that be you? If so shoot me a pitcher"

[Reverend_Smitty]

14. Screw it I'm doing it...

I just signed up for a yahoo account (hopefully they allow them) and I am diving in head first...wish me luck

[Blue-Jay]

15. Hahaha! Make sure you post the results!

Could be some interesting reading..

[Reverend_Smitty]

16. My profile so far...

Say hi to "Tammy Faye Jones" of Corpus Cristi Texas

Such nuggets include...
I'm a good Chirstian woman who upholds proper Christian values. I attend church regularly and prayer meetings as well. The Baptist church takes up much of my time but I am able to cut loose some times and have fun. I enjoy country music and crocheting. I live alone happily with my two cats, Whiskers and Mister Jingles

Since I am a devout Baptist, I am searching for a good Christian man who is the same. He must share the same value system as me, such as pro-life, pro-gun, etc. If he enjoyed counrty line dancing that would be a plus as well. Basically I am looking for a good ol' Texas boy to compliment this good ol' Texas girl!

Life begins at conception, no pre-marital relations, pro-gun and I think our beloved president is a Texas saint!!!

[Blue-Jay]

17. You find a picture for your profile yet?

I'll look around for one....

[Reverend_Smitty]

21. Heres a couple profiles of others

These are legit people...at least I assume they are...

I am NOT seeking a homosexual. DO NOT contact me if you are a homo. You will regret it. I am looking for a woman who understands what a biblical and moral marriage is, and that deferrance to a man's authority is a crucial element in a successful relationship. You must be physically attractive (no fat women, please!), and should share my passion for being politically informed (I will not change the channel from Fox News so you can watch Home & Garden Channel).

another one...
Favorite Movies: The Passion Of The Christ, Mostly anything that is clean and free of nudity and cuss words. (I guess violence is ok)

[MrScorpio]

19. Cool. Is the typo in the 2nd para intentional?

Find a nice stock pic to post in the profile. That should top it off

[Blue-Jay]

20. Pic!

Edit: More!

[Reverend_Smitty]

22. lol

thats a good one...

[MrScorpio]

25. Bingo!!!

[AntiCoup2K4]

28. Only thing wrong with using those pictures is.....

...their real owner is probably registered there already :crazy:

[JohnLocke]

42. LOL (nt).

[put out]

24. Vicarious thrills here.

May I suggest, for your very personal ad:

I do not countenance liars at all. I consider myself a secondary virgin. Retroactive (sp?) in fact. That one or two times did not impress me so much, so I have been forgiven, and am restored my virginity.

I am now waiting for the perfect man to make my life just perfect. If you think you are perfect for me, please be a virgin (don't make my mistakes), employed in a secure and good paying field, with full health benefits; a homeowner, a licensed driver. Also, have good credit. And carry proof that you are a registered voter (I don't need to tell who for, ha ha!).

You should also be good-looking, but not vain. Height and weight proportionate, but it is a plus if you are tall. Your family should be like thinkers, I mean, vote for family values as I do. I love children and want to have them quick. I do not like to baby-sit.

Do not demand of me personal beauty, for I am beautiful inside, and sometime outside. Especially in candlelight. I don't drink, but you may need to.

[Reverend_Smitty]

29. that is beautiful...

I will definately add it

[Teddy_Salad]

34. That is fucking brilliant!

You have me in tears here! :)

[EstimatedProphet]

18. I always knew they were inbred

Now we have proof-conservatives will only breed with conservatives. Leads to loss of genetic diversity.

[Reverend_Smitty]

23. Holy crap I've already had 1 person look at my profile

and I'ts been up less than 20 min. This is great because it shows you what person did the browsing.

I sorta feel dirty but it's fun none the less

[RodneyCK2]

31. That was me. Sorry, you just sound so hot...and liberal.

LOL!!!

[RogueTrooper]

54. Maybe 2

;)

[CanuckAmok]

26. couldn't you just meet someone nice at your family reunion cross burning?

n/t

[AntiCoup2K4]

30. Hard to meet wimminfolk that way,,,,

...cain't tell what they look like underneath the white sheets and all. Sheeeit you might even be hittin on a man by mistake, and then they'd lynch y'all for sure :dunce:

/freeperspeak

[VOX]

35. Feature story over there: "Why Chaste Couples Don't Divorce"

See, this is why freepers can go all nutso in lockstep and keep at it -- they haven't gotten **LAID** -- ever!

[zuzu98]

37. Couldn't resist...

had to make up a profile and join. This stuff is priceless. Some gems so far: 48 year old grad student, lots of guys who mention their moms/parents within the first 2 or 3 sentences of their profile and a local newspaper reporter looking to do a story on people who use political-affiliation dating sites. I'm thinking about calling him if I can develop enough of a backstory for "Linda," my ultra-conservative alter-ego.

[zuzu98]

38. BTW, "Tammy" is featured on their website

complete w/ picture!

I expect to get kicked off tomorrow; I listed my hometown as DUerville.

[Reverend_Smitty]

39. No way!!

My Tammy??? OMG!!! I'm a fuckin celebrity!! Its sad that I'm getting more action as a fictitious person on a conservative dating site than I am in real life! I gotta check this out

[PittPoliSci]

47. LOL!!!!!!!!

that's fantastic! welcome to DU! :toast:

:kick:

:dem:

[screwfacecapone]

41. send this junt to rush.

chances are he's looking for #4 right now.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

44. Heh- check out how they define conservative.

... I understand the term "conservative" in the context of this service to mean "someone who embraces values typically associated with political parties or ideologies such as Republicans, Libertarians, Constitutionalists, 'Reagan Democrats' or similar parties from other countries."

[lil-petunia]

45. looks like you are getting the same crap as I

let's plot a counter attack together

[PittPoliSci]

48. i wonder...

if they let GLBT couples "meet up" on their site...

sometime tells me they don't.

[ChoralScholar]

49. "friendship, romance and marriage"

oh God.. please don't let them procreate!

[ForrestGump]

50. Forrest's gone to the Dark Side

Hey! That was fun! They're gonna bust me for sure, though. :D

Still, I had fun with it. Perhaps the self-loathing gay version of Dr Srangelove's 'bodily fluids' general was a bit over the top, though....

Heck, I'd be scared youknowwhat-less if someone actually was interested in this persona. :o

Check out some of the questions that they ask of their sign-ups:






About Me:
Pure-blooded Aryan man searching for that special someone. I am deeply into Second Amendment rights and count among my arsenal a Galil converted to full auto (for entertainment purposes only) and a .50-cal Browning. I am tall, muscular, and only moderately hairy on my body. I am devoutly religious in the Assembly of God tradition. I am all man, not a girly-boy, and believe strongly in conservation of my precious bodily fluids.

Person Seeking:
My ideal match will be tall, Aryan, and not effeminate at all. I want a real man, like me, not a girly-boy. Must be open to -- preferably enthusiastic toward -- relatively heavy BDSM and fine cooking (but not French). I am not gay (that would be a sin) I just prefer intense male bonding to being with females, who seek to rob me of my precious bodily fluids. I am okay with the Lord on this point. Vote Bush in '04!

 



My Appearance

Eye Color:
Blue

Hair Color:
Brown

Height:
6 feet 5 inches

Weight:
371 - 380 pounds

Race:
White / Caucasian

 



My Background

Religion:
Christian / Other

Attend Services:
Daily

Body Type:
Heavyset

Marital Status:
Never Married

Have Children:
No

Education:
Associates degree

Occupation:
Other

Drinking:
Never

Smoking:
Never

Ethnic Background:
White -- Aryan.

Seeking Someone In:
Anywhere.

Political Party:
Republican, though sometimes they are too liberal for me. Best of a bad bunch.

Will Travel:
Yes. As far as I need to.

 



My Values

My Political Philosophy:
Very Conservative

All men are created equal regardless of race, gender or nationality:
I disagree

All human life is sacred:
I disagree

Marriage should remain a sacred institution between one man and one woman:
I agree

The homosexual lifestyle is immoral:
I agree

Sex outside of marriage is immoral:
Unsure

Abortion is immoral and should be illegal:
I agree

Euthanasia is immoral and should be illegal:
Unsure

Pornography is immoral and harmful:
Unsure

Prayer should be permitted in public schools:
I agree

Less government is generally better for society:
I agree

Governments primary role should be national defense:
I agree

When administered justly, the state has the right to impose capital punishment:
I agree

Every law-abiding citizen should have the right to bear arms:
I agree

Cutting taxes is generally good for the economy:
I agree

Comments on my beliefs and values:
I am not a racist, but I think that it is best for individuals and for society, as a whole, that racial bloodlines be kept in their pure state.

 



My Favorites

Politicians:
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, David Duke, Trent Lott, Bob Barr, and others.

Actors:
Too many liberals in Hollywood. I've always liked Mel Gibson and James Woods.

Movies:
See answer above.

Musicians:
Ted Nugent, Toby Keith.

Books:
Some here wouldn't understand, so I'd rather not say. I am already revealing too much and would seek to avoid drawing the interest of the liberals at the Homeland Security Dept.

Periodicals:
See answer above. "Field and Stream" and "Soldier of Fortune" are two more mainstream periodicals that I have long maintained subscriptions for.

Activities:
Guns. Prayer. BDSM.

Hobbies:
Shooting. BDSM.

Sports:
Shooting.

Foods:
Fried foods. On the Atkins diet now.

[supernova]

53. LMAO!!

Ordinarily I think this kind of stuff is cruel, but that's funny. It'll be just your luck that somebody will want to hookup over that add. ;-)

[ForrestGump]

55. Yeah, but what're the odds that they'll be another undercover DUer?

Shewt...we're probably the only ones in there. :D

[huellewig]

51. I'm running into this gem without a helmet..

Wish me luck..

[Guy_Montag]

52. Any suggestions...

need to come across as a Right wing Brit. It's hard now that the British Union of Facists has been disbanded.

Can someone remind me how the EU is the start of the apocalypse?

Any other ideas that I can drop in?

Bear (sp?) in mind that all men are not created equal & all human life is not sacred. But I agreed with everything else

[ForrestGump]

57. Well, obviously, those blinkin' fwoggies are demons

And will the National Front work? Are they still a force in the UK?

You could always try the paternalistic colonialism angle, in which you bemoan how the 'wogs' have taken Brittania's ex-colonies to hell in a handbasket (savages, they are) -- I've seen that attitude often enough in the tropics.

Don't forget to throw in the BDSM. :D

[Beaverhausen]

56. A Quote from Limbaugh on the front page? How desperate are they?

Rushie, going thru this third divorce, endorses this site? WOW!!! sign me up!

[MisterP]

59. is it bad I thought of this

damn!