who will be my friend in the hour of darkness?

[FranzFerdinand]

i've been here quite a while, i don't post much. i feel as if i don't know anyone here. i also feel i have so much to offer all of you bitches. can someone come down to my level? is there anyone, in front of their computers, who can say the dumbest statement in the world to me, right now, right here? maybe point out a certain hobby you would like to let me know about. here, how about you just post something and then i'll respond and we'll just see how it goes, see if we're right for eachother.

i need you guys, i need your light jests and your deepest jovialisciousness, now. now, if there was ever a time. and now. now more than ever.

so can we turn up the humor knob right quick, here in the DU? will you? you don't even have to respond to me, just give me anything. post a photo, we can photoshop it or something... who will then? who will...

[FranzFerdinand]

1. oh, well...

this is just bu**sh**. i'll wait...

[Bruce McAuley]

2. I happen to be sitting here grokking your post..

Is being sad easier than being happy?
That's about where I always start out, sorry I got little humor on me right now, though, I know I left it around here somewhere...
I gotta tell you I've been hanging around here a while too, but I only know a couple of people from the 47,000 registered here. Some names you see a lot more often than others, though, but you'll never really get to know anyone around here unless you meet them in person. Kinda hard for me, I live where there are 3 and 1/2 people per square mile, and it's HOURS to the closest city, Spokane.
:hi:

Bruce

[FranzFerdinand]

4. you, are my friend...

we can do this, together, Bruce. sadness is for suckers, let's not suck now, let's definitely NOT suck.

[NightTrain]

3. What do you call an armless, legless man in a pool?

Bob.

[FranzFerdinand]

5. what do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your doorstep?

fair warning.

[Wilber_Stool]

6. A man walks into a bar.

He places two fine boxes on the bar. Out of one, he takes a perfectly miniaturized grand piano. A moment later, out of the second box steps a one-foot tall man dressed in tails and a top hat.
The little man sits down at the piano, and begins to play show tunes and sing in a beautiful baritone voice. The other customers gather around to listen. As he plays, they put tips on the bar. 20’s, 50’s, 100 dollars at a time.
This goes on for about an hour when suddenly he stops, takes a bow, and walks back into the little box.
The customers stand in silence, stunned. The bartender speaks up.
“That’s the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Where did you get such an amazing act?”
The man says “I got it from a deaf Genie.”
“A deaf Genie. How do you know he was deaf?.”
“Oh come now.” Says the man.” Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch pianist?”

[The Doctor.]

7. "A man walks into a Bar...

...ouch!"

[FranzFerdinand]

8. oh man

holy love tonight and thanks YOU LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!@!@!@!@!@!!!11121111ONE

[Bruce McAuley]

9. Yup, sadness is for suckers, although..

Much of the humor humans give out is predicated on sadness, such as "bob". I keep going back to the image of the big monkey picking on the smaller monkey who in turn picks on the smallest monkey, and we, as humans watching it, find it humorous.
Sometimes it's easier to laugh than cry, and vice versa.
On the whole, though, I firmly believe a happy outlook is better in the long run than a sad one, too many ulcers.
:think:

Bruce

[FranzFerdinand]

10. well..

i wanna hear what you have to say about me. hear if you're gonna live without me, i wanna hear what you want. bruce.

[The Doctor.]

11. Man... you got issues.

[FranzFerdinand]

14. hey

[LoZoccolo]

12. Say hello to Jiacinto for me.

:hi:

[Bruce McAuley]

13. Oh, yes, there's many I will live without...

You will likely be one of them,unless you show up on my steps with no arms and legs. Life is strange, but I suspect you, my friend, will not.
As for what I want, that's simple: To be happy.
Happiness is very subjective, and my happiness may likely not be yours, but what the heck do I know? What more could I possibly want?
:hi:

Bruce

[FranzFerdinand]

15. BRUCE!!!!!

hi.

[Bruce McAuley]

16. Life is good, no?

Friends should share the goodness, the rest is crap.
:hi:

Bruce

[FranzFerdinand]

17. bruce... you're waving at me again.

hi, i see you.

[Bruce McAuley]

18. Do you see me smiling?

I bet you do...
Number 5 trillion and 46:-)
But does an electronic smile have the same impact as a human smile? Most other mammals see a human smile more as a threat, a baring of the teeth, rather than the humor(?) we see in the facial gestures of another human.
Personally, it's a LOT easier to get along if you smile and are nice, especially to women but even to Republicans who you'd just love to shake by the scruff of their neck and say, "Why are you so BLIND?". I can especially think of a few patriarchs of our society who deserve to be put on "Survivor" or worked over by a gang of VERY tough women while watching the effects of their inhumanity replayed before their eyes. Such is my sense of humor.
Nobody said it was easy to be happy, you have to work at it to be good, practice, practice, practice as they say.
Number 5 trillion and 47:-)

Bruce