Things you won't see at the Republican National Convention:

[LynneSin]

• Moving speech from the Busch Twins introducing their father
  
• Anyone with the last name of Reagan speaking
  
• Bush's Texas National Air Guard Buddies joining him on stage, including the one who's life Bush saved because Bush decided to take the wheel of the car that night when they drove home from the bar
  
• Anyone even remotely exciting as Barack Obama
  
• Anyone even remotely intelligent and articulate as 12-year-old Ilena Wexler
  
• Musical performances or songs from such hip entertainers as John Mellancamp, Willie Nelson, Bruce Springsteen, U2, Carole King
  

Anything else?

[lslaux]

1. You definitely won't see the truth!

Neither will you see an assembly of delegates as diverse as we saw at the Dem convention, except possibly on stage as hired performers.

[7th_Sephiroth]

11. now watch

as the RNC gerts full coverage on ALL news stations

[goju]

2. Mission Accomplished!

LOL. Cant use that one, can ya boys?

[Dudley_DUright]

8. But Kerry sure can and did

Kerry:

"Now I know there are those who criticize me for seeing complexities – and I do – because some issues just aren't all that simple. Saying there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq doesn't make it so. Saying we can fight a war on the cheap doesn’t make it so. And proclaiming mission accomplished certainly doesn't make it so"

[goju]

10. And he should continue doing so

[alphafemale]

3. The question - "Are you better off than you were four years ago?" n/t

[IronLionZion]

4. You won't see the neo-con wing of the rethug party

because they are well hidden. You won't hear about all the good things Bush has done while high as a kite in the Texas oil business or as governor.

[Blue Gardener]

5. A moving tribute including Bush's distinguished military service

Guess they'll have to gloss over that part of his life story, or make shit up like they always do.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. You won't see tolerance of diversity

or an offer to work with the other side in a bipartisan manner to solve the problems facing our nation.

I bet you see a lot more protestors....and the Pants on Fire truck!

[calico1]

7. You won't see very much color in the

people attending the Convention. There will be a few token Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, etc. but it will be mostly a vast sea of white in the audience.

[jimshoes]

9. I expect to see a help wanted ad in the paper

Wanted: African Americans, Latino's, Dark Skinned Central Americans, for part time work, 5 hours at night for 4 nights to sit and clap when instructed and to wave signs (provided) on cue. Must sign pledge not to speak or throw anything towards the stage. $6.10 hour + one free bag of Doritos per night. Call 1-800-GOP-1234.

[BlueCollar]

12. Have you

placed that ad in the local papers? Should we?

LOL

[jimshoes]

17. Who would possibly be that mean to actually put that in

the papaer and put an actual goop phone# in it. Being a good Christian, I would absolutely not laugh my ass off.

[Hubert Flottz]

13. Anyone telling the truth!

Anyone who is not some type of crook!

[Neshanic]

14. Just curious. Do you think vulgar pigboy would be there?

[RebelOne]

15. 2004 Republican National Convention Schedule

2004 Republican National Convention Schedule


Found this posted on the AOL message board.

2004 Republican National Convention Schedule

(Only one day and almost all the issues seem to be covered!)

10:00 am: Opening Ceremony: Pat Boone accompanies Lee Greenwood
singing "I'm Proud to be an American"

10:05 am: Vote on motion to go into Closed Session. (If motion fails, Justice Antonin Scalia will announce that all media must turn off audio and video recording devices.)

10:30 am: Katherine Harris speaks on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"

10:45 am: Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"

11:00 am: Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

11:10 am: Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Birth Control Should Be
Outlawed"

11:30 am: Rush Limbaugh - "Just Say No To Drugs"

11:45 am: Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"

12:00 noon: Singing of "God Bless America" and big screen projection of "Blue Angels" fly-over

12:04 pm: Lunch Break - steak with vegetable, sides of ketchup and
relish, yellow cake

12:30 pm: Oliver North - "Never Trade Arms with Terrorists"

1:00 pm: Reps. Doolittle and DeLay speak on the GOP congressional
agenda.

1:30 pm: Group cheer -- Global-Warming-Schmobal-Warming!

1:35 pm: GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell and Condi Rice

2:00 pm: Accounting for Beginners -- "Tax Cuts are Good for Deficit
Reduction"

2:30 pm: Labor Secretary Elaine Chao speaks on "Economic Growth
Through Job Exportation"

3:00 pm: Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"

3:30 pm: Unveiling of "The Guide to Imperialism" by the Heritage
Foundation

4:00 pm: Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore

4:15 pm: "Eradicate Poor People" Happy Hour (guided sight-seeing buses leaving for Harlem every 10 minutes)

6:00 pm: Dinner Break: Texas-Style Endangered Species Barbeque

7:00 pm: John Ashcroft leads ceremonial burning of the Bill of Rights

(Note to convention hall staff - make sure Statue of Justice is fully clothed)

7:15 pm: George W. Bush video tribute "Higher than a Kite: Portrait of a Fighter Pilot"

7:30 pm: Vote on motion to put image of Ronald Reagan on one dollar
bill

Keynote Speech by Dick Cheney (Exact time TBA, depending on his
arrival from secret bunker).

8:00 pm: "Kiss Ass" session with Christian Coalition

8:30 pm: Workshop on government-corporate relations by Dick Cheney

8:45 pm: Log Cabin Republicans Encounter Session -- Coming to Terms
with Your Self-Hatred

9:00 pm: Assault Rifle Raffle

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

16. Uh. me?