The Candied Yam of all CAPTIONS!! (Warning: X-rated material.)

[skip fox]

W. is "thinking": "I know these guys don't use their trunks to sex each
other with, like I used to think, but WOW . . . what if they did?? I love
standing in front of a bunch of them. Makes me feel bare naked. How
come you feel more naked when you keep your socks on? Boy, the Astros
whooped the Reds again yesterday! I wish one of them would just kinda
give me a squeeze with his trunk. When I have just my sock and shoes on
I feel so damn hot. Hmmm . . . Wonder why that is?"


Oh, yeah (on edit): The "X-rated material" was yet another shameless and
pathetic attempt to spike the view count. Wish I could say I'm sorry, but . . .

[ForrestGump]

1. Who's the female behind him,

about to push him forward so that he may be impaled upon those mighty tusks?

Is she a DUer?

[underpants]

5. Daughter Barbara

.

[ForrestGump]

8. Oh, okay....

She must ahve read the will.

Was Jenna at the other end of the elephant?

[underpants]

9. HA! No she didn't make the trip

Okay insert your own joke here.

[GOPisEvil]

2. The elephant says: "How much for the little girl? Your women!! How much??"

[nannygoat]

3. Isn't that really dangerous, to stand in front of a herd

of elephants? I can't believe the SS would let him do that! Elephants are such intelligent animals, too. Poor things have to be so close to that idiot.

[soupkitchen]

4. And just think, my enviormental policies will make all these guys

extinct in no time.

[underpants]

6. Barbara this is the one we got your ivory necklace from

:thumbsdown:

[Generic Other]

7. He's trying to drum up donors for the GOP

Look at all the ivory toothpicks this stuff would make for the $100,000 a plate dinners.

[smiths_fan_21384]

10. W. is "reckonin":

"I remember reading in my Highlights magazine a few years ago that elephants like gay sex, which made me laugh, 'cause everybody knows gay people can't have sex. When I told Laura, she put down her Scotch tumbler and started laughing, too. After a good three minutes, she looked at me and told me that homersexual folks can and do have sex. I told her that it was impossible, as men don't have vaginers. Then I remembered that time when Jeb and I were in the boathouse at Kennebunkport and we played a game called "Captain and Skipper." I remeber that game because I didn't like being the "Skipper" too much, 'cause it hurt. When this memory resurfaced, I spent two days in Barb's playpen naked and without control of my bodily functions, crying and drinking bottle after bottle of Tom Collins mix and apple Schnaps. That's when I found Jesus. He came to me in a gin-fueled vision and told me that He hated homersexuals and that it was my job to punish them for their unholy activities. And here I am today! Where's my rifle, that elephant was eyein' me funny."

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. ROTFL!!

"Captain and Skipper" - ROTFL!!!

[Buns_of_Fire]

13. The elephant on the right

DOES seem to have "The Look of Love" on her face, doesn't she? :evilgrin:

[cosmicdot]

12. W is baffled, says to Barbara: I still can't figure out how 5 elephants

actually get into a volkswagon ... even if one sits out ... I still don't know how they do that ... although after seeing what Pickles and me saw out in the bush yesterday, anything is possible ... hey, and, look, none of these here elephants have red toe-nail polish. Matter of fact, I don't think I've seen any strawberry patches the whole vacation.

By and by, we're renting these for the 2004 convention ... you know, the Greatest Scam on Earth. Actually, we're using you as collateral until we can get them returned.

[myomy]

14. They’re all one color. I thought(sic) they were red, white and blue.

GOP=Get Our Petroleum.