Anyone want to offer advice as I enter alcohol rehab...?

[Westegg]

Five days a week out-patient? Along with AA meetings. Because if I don't get it together now I know I'll A) die too early B) Lose my wife, whom I adore and C) all the rest.

I've come to know DU as a repository of thoughful souls , so any words of encouragement would be very helpful.

[IdaBriggs]

1. Send wife to Al-Anon. And kids to Ala-Teen. n/t

[Westegg]

7. Thanks. No kids, but for sure Al-Anon for my wife.

I appreciate your feedback.

[madmax]

2. Do it for yourself.

Be honest and fearless - it's scary but, you can do it.

:hug:

[Westegg]

12. Yeah, I know: I have to do it for myself. Thanks.

[Guy Fawkes]

3. Once you get out, stay clean.

[DoBotherMe]

4. One day at a time ...

You will hear that over and over and over and over and over and over ... and one day it will actually make sense. AA saves lives, it saved mine. Dana ; )

[Cha]

5. Yeah, I got something for you...

It saved my son's life and he is two years now free of alcolhol and the ganja.

His life is going great and as his mother I couldn't be happier.

Good for you..doing this for your life..Peace and happiness!

[Westegg]

18. Thanks, zidzi. Best to your son. (n/t)

[Kire]

48. get a sponsor, work the steps

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. We came to beleive that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. We admitted to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

[tandot]

6. Believe in yourself and that you can do it

Think about the great future you will have without alcohol addiction

I'll be thinking off you, Westegg. I am wishing you all the best...

:yourock:

[Westegg]

21. I thank you, tandot, and I am thinking (or at least trying to think)

...of a future without this addiction.

[NMDemDist2]

8. do AA like you drank. do it often, do it with passion

PM me if you have any questions I may be able to help.

AADemDist6 sobriety date 2-28-92 one day at a time.

PS the alanon thing is a good idea too, but that's her choice and none of your business. It may help her understand what you're going through in the first year a lot better tho...

[xchrom]

9. one day at a time

i'm well over twenty years sober....and clean.
the worst would be that you WOULDN'T die -- just get crazier and crazier.
i drank, did drugs like there was no tomorrow -- i was a rent boy in my youth for money and a crazy homeless person by the time i was thirty.
if i can do it -- you can.
just be aware -- sobriety changes everything -- it'll rock your world, dude.
just sit back and go where the sober life leads you.

[Westegg]

23. Thank you, friend. You've been very helpful.

[wildeyed]

10. I have been sober a long time now.

I used to hate my disease, what it did to me and to my family. But in recent years, I have come to be grateful for it. It shaped me into a much more caring and spiritual person than I would have been otherwise. I guess I feel like it added depth to my soul.

Early recovery is usually traumatic. Do what they say in the meetings one day at a time and keep coming back, it gets better.

[bigwillq]

11. Best of luck

You have to want to do it and continue with the programs.

I hope you succeed in this quest. Let us know how it goes.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. Words of encouragement and advice

I salute you in recognizing how much more your wife and your life mean to you rather than a habit that feeds a sickness...giving up the suffering you have sustained with alcohol is hard because you are giving it up for the unknown, not all unknown things are bad nor uncomfortable.

During your rehab, I suggest taking up SOME practice you may not currently engage in such as exercise, a musical instrument you've always wanted to play or a sport you've always wanted to excel at...this way through one of these practices, you will have a physical and emotional release as well as a new way to spend your time.

Best wishes.

[Westegg]

25. Thanks for the good advice. I'll dig my guitar out of storage!

[ezee]

14. Always be honest. Learn to trust and be totally open.

Remember you are doing this for YOU. NO ONE ELSE. They shall benifit from your soberity, but the journey is YOURS. BE responsible to yourself. All other issues will fall in to place.
The effort is tough, this journey is long, but the rewards are trully worth the effort. I know, fifteen years of happiness and freedom.
Stay well

[Westegg]

26. Thanks, ezee.

[BigMcLargehuge]

15. be strong, don't get discouraged

we are all pulling for you.

[BlueCollar]

16. one day at a time

and sometimes one hour at a time...

either way... you win

:hi:

[Sperk]

17. Good luck! Never had that particular problem, but I know how

hard it is too kick addictions, still fighting the nicotine one, not to mention my unnatural love of chocolate.

Best of luck to you and your family. Let us know how it goes.
:grouphug:

[Warren DeMontague]

19. Feel good about the fact that you're taking this step--

it requires bravery and self-awareness to admit that you have a problem.

You'll hear it elsewhere, but rigorous honesty from the start can make all the difference.

AA has saved the lives of lots of people I know. It has worked and continues to work for many, many folks-- and you will hear from 12 steppers that "it works if you work it".. for many people, however, the religiosity of the program, no matter what semantics are used to present it, becomes a stumbling block...I don't want to dive into the whole AA/not AA debate, but if, further on down the road, once you've completed treatment, you would like information on some of the secular alternatives to AA that are out there, please feel free to PM me.

And good job! Really, as someone who hasn't taken a drink for a very long time, it really does get much, much better with being sober. I wouldn't trade my worst day now for my best day drinking. One thing that helped me immensely was changing my own mental attitude; not feeling that I was "giving up" drinking, but rather I was allowing myself to do everything else, and have the life, that drinking kept me from.

[Westegg]

29. I really thank you for your feedback and yeah...

...I'd like to hear more about what you have to say and all but...

Is that REALLY a shot of Bush looking like a drunk frat boy? It was so distracting. Still, I thank you for your smart words.

P.S. Is that really Bush? Christ, lock the dumb fuck up NOW!

[Warren DeMontague]

35. The Shirt and disheveled hair were added---

but the facial expression is genuine.

And, actually, cuz this feeds back into the topic at hand.. I'll tell you something else-- I have a lot of fun with that stuff, but being an artist and a graphic design person has also helped me immensely in my sobriety. Having creative or other outlets to throw yourself into is a great way, and an immensely rewarding way, to deal with the excess energy that many people find themselves with once they quit drinking. Someone else posted about learning an instrument-- great idea.

I also made changes to my diet, started exercising-- those are also very good, positive things to do if you're so inclined. I'm certainly not a medical man, but from my own experience I strongly believe that sugar plays a part in the body's reactions to long-term, heavy alcohol use and abuse. I used to crave sweets, big time, when I would stop drinking.. I no longer eat a whole lot of refined sugar, I've improved my diet 400%, I lost a whole bunch of weight, and I don't crave sugar at all... And while I still get cranky if I don't eat all day, I don't have that crazy up and down crashing of my blood sugar levels that I think I used to have.

Although AA meetings traditionally have the reputation of being full of cigarette smoke and donuts, it's been my experience in the past decade or so that there are more and more people in the program who have a good grasp of nutritional and other issues and how they can help sober people feel physiologically balanced. First and foremost, of course, is to not take a drink, and concentrate on getting through one day at a time. Other advice I would offer is, take advantage of help that is offered. The old "Call (or contact) me before you take a drink" is not just a cliche, it can really save your ass. Take people up on that.

[NMDemDist2]

47. re: sugar in early recovery

we had a saying around the home group

"I stayed sober thru fear, fellowship and a high sugar diet"

If you get a nasty craving for the bottle, try ice cream instead. It may give you another day :-)

[Warren DeMontague]

49. Certainly preferable to drinking---

but regarding long term health maintenance, I'm of the opinion that lots and lots of sugar leads to a blood sugar peak/crash cycle that hurts rather than helps. Obviously, if it comes down to drinking or lighting your pants on fire, light your pants on fire. But my own long term situation, mood, etc. improved markedly with several lifestyle changes- cutting out most high amounts of sugar (which now don't interest me, anyway) cutting out meat except for fish, cutting out high and hydrogentated fat foods, and cutting out fried foods. And I feel like a whole different person now. Of course, that's just my own experience, your mileage may vary. And I'm certainly not some kind of monk, I'm still a huge caffeine junkie; you'll get my green tea and/or iced coffee when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

But my dad, who was an alcoholic and then a big 12 stepper, drank himself into Type II diabetes-- He got sober in the mid 70s, and the program kept him away from booze, but he sure didn't take very good care of himself aside from that.. not only the diabetes, but the incessant cigarette smoking eventually killed him.

First thing to do is get sober and network with other sober people. (Vitamin B is another excellent suggestion, that I saw here) But long term, I wouldn't discount the benefits of good nutrition and exercise in terms of helping you feel better.

[NMDemDist2]

53. no question, but first things first

I was only talking about the first 6 months (even 90 days) for a sugar "crutch"

[Warren DeMontague]

55. Absolutely. Ben & Jerry's helped me for a while, no doubt.

Cherry Garcia. Mmmm.

[NMDemDist2]

57. ROFL my fav too

Love that Cherry Garcia

[The Straight Story]

20. Some random thoughts

Look back on your life, all the way back you can go. And then project yourself the same time into the future, look back to this day and think about how much you could do between now and that future time, things you wish you would have done (or done differently) in the past X years.

In a sense, you do have it all to do over again, just pick the starting time. You're older, wiser, and today is your 1st birthday to a new life. You see the mistakes, now see the wonderful future you can make for yourself so that in the future you can look back and have a great feeling.

Remember anything bad from 1-2 years ago? Hopefully what ever it was has passed, but what you felt at the time was dread and sadness. But you made it through. While in treatment it may be hard at times, just remember that it will pass and in a year or two you will not so much remember the feelings as you will the results. You are in control of the rest of your life, use it well, live long, and grab your dreams by the horn and herd em in.

Good luck!

[Westegg]

30. I need to do what you say. Thanks.

[Robb]

22. There are no small victories in this thing

Every time you want a drink and don't take one, you might be tempted to think of it as a small victory.

It's not, it's huge. Every time is a triumph over a long, long pattern that's tough as hell to break. Be proud of every single time.

[GingerSnaps]

24. Good luck

I had a dear friend die from alcoholic poisoning and we all still miss him bad.

Good luck and if you need a friend feel free to pm any of us we are here for you. :hug:

[Westegg]

34. Thanks so much!

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

27. Hey! Drunk in remission here!

First, as a positive reinforcement, two points:

1. Think of the money you'll save by not buying the piss or paying for DUI convictions!

2. It's fun waking up in the morning and not feeling like shit and having to boil water to unstick the pillow from your tongue!

Best thing I ever did, stopping drinking. It made me smarter, ie: Alcohol really, really makes you dumb. If you hammer the shit over a long period of time, the dumbness becomes chronic. It turns you, intellectually, into a Freepee. ;-)

If you stick with it, you are on a wonderful odessey of rediscovery of feelings, perceptions and intellectual pursuits. Really. Truly.

You are gonna be amazed at how smart you really are.

Also, if you fall of the wagon, get back up on it and start again. Making mistakes is part of the human condition. We learn from them.

[mourningdove92]

28. Well done, westegg. That was a wonderful decision.

I have 10 years sobriety and am so thankful that I no longer live that life.
Recovery is an ongoing experience. Take care of yourself first, I know that sounds selfish, but that is what you must do. Also,keep the faith. What I mean by that is probably not what you think. You see, I have absolute FAITH that if I take just one drink, I am right back on the road to hell. The only true choice that I have is the choice to NOT take that first drink. Because if I ever gave in, and made the choice to take the first drink, all the other drinks to follow would be my disease doing the choosing.

You can do this. I will pray for you tonight and every night.

[Westegg]

I thank you so very much. And I think I know what you're saying...

...about the first drink. When it happened to me most recently, I went from one innocent drink of wine to a vodka and Xanax cocktail (which seemed perfectly reasonable to me at the time), and the next thing I knew, I was driving like a moron with my wife in the car. Several days later now, I still don't remember the drive. But I now know that she was terrified. I have been humbled. I hope.

[nosmokes]

31. what /\ they /\ said

and congrats on recognizing the problem and taking action.

some good advice passed along to me - a good meeting has laughter, so look for a meeting where folks laugh. recovery is about life and living this moment to it's fullest, and hopefully that means a lot more joy than sorrow, huh?

[smirkymonkey]

32. Congrats on taking the 1st Step!

You may feel like your life is ending, but it's really just beginning. I know from personal experience and my life has changed dramatically and for the better.

It's not always easy, but it will be the most rewarding thing you will ever do. The one thing I learned is that if you have a problem, it will NEVER get better, only worse. Believe me, you can lose everything and then some if you continue, and it's hell on earth. It's smart to stop now before you have gotten to that point.

Feel free to PM me and check in with us when you get back. You should be proud of yourself for taking this first big step! Best of Luck! :)

[bobthedrummer]

33. Cut off your old crowd now and hang out with folks in recovery

get a sponsor and new friends. This is critical to your recovery, it isn't easy-but do it now for yourself.

Don't expect an instant miracle, be patient and truly take it one day at a time.

I found taking B complex vitamins very helpful, as well as taking walks when anxiety and the desire to drink hit, but it was the fellow recovering alcoholics that made all the difference in the world. Sometimes I would go to AA 4-6 times a day when I began my recovery.

My recovery from alcoholism began 6-18-81. Best of everything to you, Westegg.

[GingerSnaps]

40. What if she isn't an old crow?

The drinking might have had something to do with her attitude. It's not always the womans fault on everything that happens in a mans life.

[bobthedrummer]

41. I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

At best you made a pisspoor play on words about a serious subject.

[GingerSnaps]

46. I thought that you meant his woman

I am so sorry I use to have a friend who called his ex an old crow and I forgot about "Old Crow" alcohol.

[latebloomer]

59. just to clear that up

he said cut off the "old crowd", not the old "crow."

LOL

[miss_kitty]

36. hey i wish you all the best

you rule for taking charge. i drink very little, so i don't know how you feel, BUT my grampa was an alcoholic who got treatment and my mom always said that was the greatest gift he ever gave her-sobriety the last decade or so of his life. as a result, i never knew a drunken grampa. so he gifted me, too.

my teary best to you man.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[PittPoliSci]

39. what great advice! thanks grovelbot!

Seriously though, do it for yourself, and maybe if you have trouble then, consider medication. I know there's a pill that makes you violently ill when you drink alcohol, so bad so that you won't wanna drink if you've taken it.

[rppper]

38. it is a lifestyle change...completely......

that is the first thing you will probably learn...i work as a rehab councelor...you will need to enter this with an open mind and be ready to hear things you will not like about yourself...most of which will more than likely be the truth. you will need to learn how to be an adult, because you stopped developing personality wise when your dependence on drinking began....sound mean spirited???.....you need to know this...rehab is not some place where you sit in a circle and sing kum-ba-ya and get better...you need to get the demons out of you and if you are not willing to be totally honest with your self and do what is nessesary, you will never change...and don't do it for your wife or kids or dog or who-ever...do it for you. get a sponsor if you are allowed to outside na/aa meetings...listen to the old timers...read the big book...apply its principles to your life....

clean since 1999 here.......you can do it to.....;-)

good luck......

[pagerbear]

42. 90 meetings in 90 days.

Then 90 more. You have to steep yourself in recovery, especially at the beginning!

As they used to say when I first came into OA, I wish you a slow recovery!

[flamingyouth]

43. Best of luck to you

My mother has been sober for seven years now. We almost lost her to cirrhosis. I don't know what additional advice I can give that hasn't already been offered; I'm glad that Al-Anon was mentioned right away for your wife. I went to that for about a year and found it to be very helpful.

I'm actually thinking of going back, now that I look back on my failed marriage and the subsequent suicide of my alcoholic husband. It's a wonderful organization, and it can really benefit your wife.

As for you, try to take care of yourself, which is easier said than done. Do something special for you everyday, even if it's just a silly little thing that you enjoy. And never forget you have lots of friends here that you can lean on for support.

Good luck.:hug:

[kodi]

44. listen to your heart, its seems to be working fine

you are the hero of your own life.

[puerco-bellies]

45. 90 in 90, get a sponcer fellowship with others in recovery and most of all

Live in the moment, but do not worry about how you feel at any one time, that will change. Do not hold on to the past, it is done and nothing can be done about it. Do not worry about the future, it is not known, nor does it ever arrive, that's why it's the future.
Find a higher power of your own understanding and surrender to it.
Above all do not take that first drink or drug. Things will change then they will get better. Good luck.
P-B

[JSJ]

50. stay off the booze n/t

[ibegurpard]

51. Don't assume that it will make everything better.

It has to come from inside of you and you have to be the one to do the heavy lifting. All rehab can do is give you the opportunity to take a step back and really evaluate what alcohol is doing to your life. The rest is up to you.

[underseasurveyor]

52. No, no advice really. Just this...something that my mom says

How do you treat an alcoholic?
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:loveya: With Love :loveya:
:hug: :grouphug: :hug:

One day at a time Westegg :thumbsup: One day at a time :-)

[dorktv]

54. Some hope for you: My dad has been clean for 26 years.

It can be done, the lord be with you, I know my prayers will be.

[onebigbadwulf]

56. Keep yourself busy!

It's only when you're idle that these things begin to haunt again.

[Rhiannon12866]

58. Know that you are doing this to guarantee that you have a life

Sounds like a great program and I certainly support and admire you. You are so lucky to have discovered an outpatient program. Most of them that I am familiar with require a month as an inpatient. I admire you more than I can say, just for posting this. You are going to do just fine. I wish that I had your courage.:grouphug: