Let's imitate freeper techniques on this thread. Pretend you are...

[Maddy McCall]

a liberal troll posting at a conservative forum. I'll go first.

"Hi. My liberal friends told me that George Bush eats boogers. According to their sources, the reason his nostrils are flared is because he keeps his fingers in them. I heard, too, that he is unfit to lead because he has a case of worms caused by eating boogers, which have migrated to his brain and have eaten part of his cerebellum. Can anyone tell me if this is true or not? Can you give me some advice on how to respond to those liberals?"

Now it's your turn. :evilgrin:

[YoQuieroLiberty]

1. Bad example

I think he DOES eat boogers.

[freetobegay]

2. LOL!

Welcome to DU.

[B. P. R. D.]

3. .

[Catfight]

4. First you choose a simple minded screen name, like "idiotsforbush,"

then you post a 'hook' subject text like, "Does anyone else think John Kerry should fight back against Bush's accusations that Kerry is gay?"

And then DU'rs get distracted by these silly bait games while soldiers continue to die for oil. It's all fun and games in the repug side. Too bad our soldiers are dying for their jokes. They truly are the party of the soulless.

[Bluebear]

5. "Hi I'm new here!"

I'm so glad I found this place, I think I have a home! Do you mind if a country boy puts up his feet for a while? I hope you don't mind if I jump in, I am reading how Bush's national guard records are missing, see this news:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040906/ap_on_el_pr/bush_national_guard&cid=694&ncid=716

"For example, Air National Guard regulations at the time required commanders to write an investigative report for the Air Force when Bush missed his annual medical exam in 1972. The regulations also required commanders to confirm in writing that Bush received counseling after missing five months of drills."

I know those libbys are going to jump all over this, how do we counter this mantra?

Sigline: USA! USA!

[Maddy McCall]

8. LOL!

ROTF!! :thumbsup:

[UpsideDownFlag]

28. Unfit for Command avatars.

seen a few of those.

[2Design]

6. I got one.... My liberal friends told me that Bush served

honorably in the service yet I know he was a deserter... how can I convince them

[Chichiri]

7. My turn . . .

Oh no! His Majestic Highness Bush is down by a quarter-point in the latest liberal poll! Bush is gonna lose! We're all gonna DIE!!!

[TheDonkey]

9. Bush is hot

isn't he

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

10. Here's mine

I've heard from some libril tipes that Our Grate Leader doesn't support the troops. They say that W has cut benifits to disabled veterans and that he broke a promise to veterans to restore their health benifits. That he has kep the local Guard units from gettin the body armor they needed in Irak. What do I tell these folks?


To sound like a freeper one cannot use complex sentences or correct spelling, imho.

[punpirate]

11. Jaysus, I don't think I can top that...

... but, maybe, "Hay, all you gud xstuns, I'm noo hear, adn I just wanted to say that I went to that horrib DEMONcRAT Undertheground and their a bunch of creeps and dikes and queers and LIBruls. I wanna go back and give all them a peace of my mindbut I knead sum adivc on whow to sneek in again so they dont catch me and what to say and like that.

Megah=dittoes and prares.

[TheDonkey]

16. LOL, now that's a true freep.

;)

[merh]

12. Okay, my freeper screen name "I'mreallyforKerry"

All my conservative friends tell me that Kerry went to vietnam because he had a political agenda. As a liberal this really bugs me, but how do I answer it. I truly love the democrats and I need your help this is a hard one to debunk!

ON EDIT - Sorry thought you were looking for freepers that pretend to belong here. If you were, then that is what they would post like, though the sentences might be too complex. :shrug:

[Spiffarino]

13. Hi! I love this place

You are all so smart. I hope you like my first post!

Now, EAT S-IT AND DIE MOTHERFU--ERS!!

[Bluebear]

14. Michelle Malkin is a total BABE!

Man she's hot! The only thing I don't get is, she said "some people say" Kerry shot himself to get a purple heart, who are those "some people", can any of you dudes amd dudettes give me a link? I am trying to talk to my liberal brother-in-law in San Francisco (yeah I know, fag city but he's normal) He even is pissed about the purple heart bandaids at our convention...anyhow, who ever proved that Kerry wounded himself?

YEAH, I'D HIT THIS!....

[Spiffarino]

17. Ooohhh...I'd tap that

...with a pitchfork.

[flpeach]

15. Okay I'll Try . . . .

By the way, that was hilarious!!

***I was talking to my liberal friend the other day and he gave me FACTS that our beloved president is a scumbag!! How do I counter all these facts!! I told him it was all lies, hatred and bigotry, and that these facts were perpetrated by the left wing media!!! He countered that there WAS no left wing media!! I pointed out Fox and CNN and MSNBC, but he said they were controlled by corporations!! Is he right? How do I fight with this lefty??? ***

[Piperay]

18. "I'm starting to get scared

that Kerry is going to lose" ... couldn't count the number of times someone uses that to get us feeling like we should give up. :eyes:

[UpsideDownFlag]

29. lol n.t

[HarveyBriggs]

19. Was Bush really a Communist Informant during Viet Nam?

I've heard this a few times; in fact I have a friend who says he has seen a tape of a Russian spy who now admits he had targeted this drunken, drug-abusing, stripper-chasing son of a US dimplomat and Congressman to seek military secrets.

As the story goes, the Russians had already been targeting reserve and other military bases for soldiers with loose lips. The younger Bush was well known in spy circles for his lack of discretion and access to sensitive materials through his father and through the base. They hit the bonanza with W. when they were able to get pictures of this "boy gone wild" doing drugs with a stripper/hooker in Houston.

The playboy junior Bush also was very jealous of returning pilots, soldiers and sailors because the kinds of women attracted to a guy in uniform were more attracted to combat veterans, particularly those who were wounded.

So not only did Bush get trapped into giving up military secrets he found through his father and on base, he was eager to get even with the combat soldiers who he believed were muscling in on his "action."

The real reason Bush missed his required flight physical is that when the senior Bush discovered the Russians were on to his son, his only option was to hustle Bush junior into obscurity and out of reach of any military secrets.

The elder Bush realized that the secrets already passed on had costs over 3,000 soldier's lives in Viet Nam. And if this became widely know it would kill his future, and would put Jr. before a Court martial on charges of Treason.

To this day, the former spy confesses, the junior Bush still holds a grudge against all of those soldiers who served in combat in Viet Nam.

Anybody else hear this. I understand it may break any day now!

Harvey Briggs

[Career Prole]

20. Well, that certainly is more believable than the "psychosis from

advanced syphillis" meme I've heard. Those DUmmies even debunked it for us. To be a syphillitic psychotic you need 1.) a mind to lose, and B.) someone who wants to have sex with you and the lie-berals at DU showed how Preznit Bush is not afflicted by either. (so stop saying that!)
As for your problem just tell them that booger worms is a affliction of the rednecked population and Preznit Bush is a sofisticated man and there four is impudent to booger worms.

[goondogger]

21. Is it true

that the president has stopped (pick one) beating his wife/raping babies/sacrificing innocent lives for oil?

*Edit - forgot brackets do weird things.*

[The_Casual_Observer]

22. Need help with this one!

My dear deceased grandmother is a John Kerry supporter and she tells me that Air America is claiming taht Presihent Bush is too chicken to debate Kerry, that they are trying to weasle out of doing any debates. Alos that Mr. Zell Miller's speech was nothing but a set of rw talking points cribbed from an old e-mail spam.

What do you folks think? I need an answer that will relly blow them away this time.

[Spiffarino]

23. Oh! Oh! Here's another one...

I know that Geeeeaaaaaawwwwdddd!!! is on our side and everything, so it bothers me when I hear the DUHers say that our presinedt uses the F-word all the time. Could you all send me a link to some place that will prove to these liars that our President, who we know was selected by JEEEEaaaaaayyyyzzzzuzzzz!! is in no way a sinner?

[2Design]

24. the sky is faling the sky is falling...kerry is

very athletic and strong and capable and a real leader.....how is bush going to be able to go up against that.....what can I tell my friends to bring down the image of such a strong leader... I am afraid they are going to vote for KErry :):):)

[mourningdove92]

25. Would it be bad of me to say that Rove is fucking up our great

leaders campaign? We need to get someone in this campaign that knows how to play rough. Rove is just tippy toeing around Kerry, and our great leader is getting his butt kicked. Cahill has got Kerry's agenda going, and all the liberal media is giving coverage to Kerry.

We need to contact the Bush campaign and tell them what to do. Obviously they are too stupid to figure it out for themselves and they need us to think for them.

We are doomed! Doomed, I say.

[htuttle]

26. THIS IS HUGH!!!!!!!!

CHECK IT OUT! THIS CAN'T BE TRUE, CAN IT?

http://www.drudgereport.com/

[Pushed To The Left]

27. "I'm staying home!"

"I have decided that I am going to sit this election out in November. I wish a true conservative like Rick Santorum or Pat Buchanan was running. First off, Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian..what does that say about her upbringing? Then, Cheney comes out against protecting marriage! Do we want him one gunshot away from the presidency? Bush is also soft on illegal immigration. He's pals with Vicente Fox, yet we still have immigrants coming in and stealing our tax money and jobs. Plus, he can't even catch Bin Laden. I am going to kick up my feet on election night, turn on the VCR, and watch old tapes of Reagan and Nixon..2 great presidents that knew real conservatism. I urge all true Republicans to do the same and give America a message that they can't take the conservative vote for granted."

[Pushed To The Left]

31. "Do the libs and moderates you know believe it"

"when you tell them that we'll get "blown up" or won't be as safe if Kerry wins? I love using that line. We all know it's not true, but I think it's working!"

[UpsideDownFlag]

30. Pictures of my Kitty! look, look!

lol.

[finecraft]

32. The President's Day in Pictures for Sept. 11, 2001

Could someone here please tell me how to find the "President's Day in Pictures" thread for September 11, 2001? I can't seem to find it. I found one picture thread for that date, but it only had pictures of him sitting in the school in Florida reading the goat book with those adorable school children. Some of my other Republican friends have told me of the wonderful, brave, heroic things that the President did on that day, and I am awed by the courage he showed in the face of adversity. With the elections coming up, I thought it would be great to show everyone else in the trailer park how blessed I feel that George Bush is our Commander-In-Chief. I would like to make a photo-collage of his heroic actions that day, but can't find a thread that has any pictures in it. Can anyone help me?

Have a Blessed Day, and Pray for our President

[mourningdove92]

35. HAHAHAHA, Go ahead, post this at freeper land.

I can hear the heads exploding.

[nightperson]

33. OMFG! Help me refute this article my 3rd wife's nephew's boss's neighbor

just sent me!: http://www.antiwar.com/orig/duncan1.html

What about these: http://www.theamericancause.org/patnovakleak.htm http://www.amconmag.com/3_1_04/cover.html

http://www.cnn.com/2002/ALLPOLITICS/12/26/column.novak.opinion.sharon/

What's up with this?: http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml?i=19990628&s=schwarz

I recognize some conservative names here but they are very mean to Leader: http://www.lewrockwell.com/ http://www.antiwar.com/ http://amconmag.com/archive.html

Help! The articles just keep coming! When did things get so complicated! Who are we? Why does Buchanan call us Trotskyite boat people? I'm so confused! Show this stuff to your friends if you can't answer it!

Who is truly on our side?: http://frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=14542 There must be a purge! I demand unity!

:smoke: B-)

[PartyPooper]

34. Posted by: "True Blue American"

I found this place from that liberal website...DU which Rush Limbaugh mentioned on his radio program. Thank God, because I really need your help!

My wife (a democrat) says she'll leave me if I vote for President Bush. She means it, too.

I'm a life-long Republican. And, my wife was an independent until recently. Now she's a whiny, tax and spend liberal.

How can I convince her to stop bashing Bush and hating America? I want her to support our troops and vote for our dearly beloved President Bush. As we all know, it's a matter of the future security of our country...and, my marriage, too!

Thank you.

God bless George Bush and God bless America!

O8)

;-)