so tell me a silly story please

[tigereye]

and I will try to think of one to tell you...
until I do, here is a song from Warren Zevon: ( well, I think it is funny)

Disorder in the house

Disorder in the house
The tub runneth over
Plaster's falling down in pieces by the couch of pain

Disorder in the house
Time to duck and cover
Helicopters hover over rough terrain

Disorder in the house
Reptile wisdom
Zombies on the lawn staggering around

Disorder in the house
There's a flaw in the system
And the fly in the ointment's gonna bring the whole thing down

The floodgates are open
We've let the demons loose
The big guns have spoken
And we've fallen for the ruse

Disorder in the house
It's a fate worse than fame
Even the Lhasa Apso seems to be ashamed

Disorder in the house
The doors are coming off the hinges
The earth will open and swallow up the real estate

I just got my paycheck
I'm gonna paint the whole town grey
Whether it's a night in Paris or a Fresno matinee

It’s the home of the brave and the land of the free
Where the less you know the better off you'll be

Disorder in the house
All bets are off
I'm sprawled across the davenport of despair

Disorder in the house
I'll live with the tosses
And watch the sundown through the portiere

[RandomKoolzip]

1. One time, this bunny rabbit and this giraffe

went into town to collect taxes from the Ukranians and ended up eating lots and lots of carrots. Then there was that other time when I was Lillian Roth and decided to punt on first down. Radish!

[tigereye]

3. good absurdist story RKZ

did you find Chavez?

[daddybear]

2. Silliest I know right now

Lalalalalal Bush sux!

[tigereye]

4. well you are right

he is pretty silly :silly:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

5. Sorry, I'm still in awe of those cathedrals.

I'll come up with something later. Promise.

[tigereye]

6. didn't mean to overtax your processor

but aren't you Canadians over-taxed anyway? He-he. :silly:

I know, that was really bad.

[fudge stripe cookays]

7. Here's one.

In keeping with the Twinkie bankruptcy theme today:

When I was a young Cookay, my mom dieted quite a bit. She never let fun foods in the house. I never got sweets.

One magical day, I convinced mom to buy me a box of Twinkies at the grovery store. I anticipated them all through dinner.

When we were done with dinner, I reached up and got my Twinkie box, and pulled one out...salivating over it's golden cakiness and it's luscious cream filling. Picture a squirrel clutching a prize nut and just gnawing gnawing gnawing on it. That was me with my Twinkie.

So my dad looks over and says, "Can I have one of your Twinkies?"

Grumpily, I realized I might have to share. "Nooooo," I whined.

So my dad got a little annoyed, reached over, and jammed the twinkie into my face.

And now, whenever I eat a Twinkie, I always ask everyone if they want a bite. :D

FSC

[redqueen]

8. The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog!

Go get that at the library. Best. Silly. Story. Ever.

[tigereye]

13. haven't read that one

thanks

Jack, Skinny Bones and the Golden Pancakes is one of ours. I think that is what it is called.

[redqueen]

28. Thanks!

I'll be sure to look that one up...

There's also Pigeon Drives The Bus (IIRC)... I love kids books. :)

[Ready4Change]

9. Once upon a time...

The people of a great land thought their Leader was a man of the people because that's what he said he was. However, had they ever looked at him they would have seen that was not so. Isn't that silly?

That Leader said he would take less of their money in taxes, and they believed him. However, if they had paid attention they would have realized that he was only taking less money from rich people, and that he was actually taking MORE money from most of the people. Isn't that silly?

That Leader said he would help children in schools, but he never provided any money for that. He said he would help the brave firemen and policemen of the great nation, but again he provided no money. He said he would support the courageous men and women in the military. But instead he cut their veterans benefits and reduced how much they were being paid while being shot at by bad guys. Still, the people of the great nation believed what their Leader said, rather than looking at what he did. That's silly!

He said he would protect the environment, while making it easier for big companies to pollute the air and water. He said he would promote energy conservation, but only provided money for drilling more oil out of the ground. He said he would help old people get medicine, but what he did was help medicine companies take away old peoples money. Silly silly!

The people of the great nation were attacked by an Evil Man. Their Leader said he would catch that Evil Man and put him in jail forever. And the Leader sent soldiers out to do just that. Everyone was very serious. This was not silly at all.

But then, just when the Evil Man might be caught, the Leader told all the soldiers to go and attack another country. The Leader said this other country was friends with the evil man, which wasn't true. The Leader said this other country had big bombs, which wasn't true. The Leader said this other country was just about to hurt the people of the Great Nation just like the Evil Man did, but that wasn't true either. Still, the Leader sent all the soldiers to attack this country, and they did, and lots of things blew up and lots of people died and nothing was silly any more. It was all very very sad.

But here is the silliest ending you'll ever hear. After all of this happened there is to be an election, and almost half of the people in the Great Nation still believe whatever their Leader says. Despite all the times he said one thing and did another, which is called lieing, they plan to vote for him.

Isn't that the silliest story you've ever heard?

[pagerbear]

10. Mom! Ready4Change made me cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:cry:

[Ready4Change]

11. There there, now.

There's still time for a happy ending!

:pals:

[tigereye]

15. yes, it is

I guess I was thinking silly on a smaller scale... but that will do.

I mean the current admin. is one big silly, absurdist story.

[LDS Jock]

12. how about this for silly?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=102&topic_id=845648&mesg_id=845648

The Abe Lincoln Black Republican Caucus (ALBRC), a group of young urban Black gay Republicans, voted today in a special call meeting in Dallas, Texas, to endorse President Bush for re- election.

[redqueen]

14. That's not just silly

That's nucking futs!

:crazy:

[tigereye]

16. yeah their tent is REALLY inclusive

snort... there was a great piece on This American LIfe a few weeks ago where a LCR was interviewing people at the Rep. Convention. Couldn't get much acknowledgement formally ( obviously), although individual reps. he interviewed were willing to see his point to view. Interesting. Never had made much sense to me.

[pagerbear]

17. Wait a minute!

I thought all gay men were 20-something, white, upwardly mobile gym bunnies with money to burn and extremely liberal politics! Lesbians? What are they? Bisexuals? Transgendered people?

[tigereye]

19. well everyone is entitled to their own political ops

but the whole LCR thing has never made sense to me. Are they pretty exclusive, then? Not intending to give offense, Pager.

[Bunny]

18. The Ugly Barnacle.

Once there was a barnacle who was so ugly that everyone died. The End.

(that's a classic from Spongebob Squarepants)

[tigereye]

20. too bad I can't quote any Sponge Bob.

my son and husband are really into it. I have mixed reactions.

[tigereye]

21. this thread has taken a strange turn

with serious and not so serious silly stories.

[Ready4Change]

22. I was trying to be seriously silly!

:)

[tigereye]

24. no that's cool

I was waiting for the thread to morph into a discussion of transgender issues.

[MrBenchley]

23. Here's a story-song from Randy Newman....

There she is sitting there
Out behind the smoke-house in her rocking chair
She don't do nothin'
She don't say nothin'
She don't feel nothin'
She don't know nothin'
Maybe she's crazy, I don't know
But maybe that's why I love her so

Her papa was a midget
Her mama was a whore
Her grandad was a newsboy 'til he was eighty-four
Man don't you think I know she hates me
Man don't you think I know that she's no good
If she knew how she'd be unfaithful to me
I think she'd kill me if she could
Maybe she's crazy I don't know
But maybe that's why I love her so

I'm not afraid of the gray wolf
Who stalks through our forest at dawn
As long as I have her beside me
I'll have the strength to carry on

Today we will be married
And all the freaks that she knows will be there
And all the people from the village will be there
To congratulate us
I will carry her across the threshold
I will make dim the light
I will attempt to spend my love within her
But though I try with all my might
She will laugh at my mighty sword
She will laugh at my mighty sword
Why must everybody laugh at my mighty sword?
Lord, hep me if you will
Maybe we're both crazy, I don't know
Maybe that's why I love her so

[tigereye]

25. Randy Newman is a great song-writer

[MrBenchley]

27. I love his stuff!

Old lady lost in the city
In the middle of a cold, cold night
It was fourteen below and the wind start to blow
There wasn't a boy scout in sight
Pull down the shades cause he's comin'
Turn out the lights cause he's here
Runnin' hard down the street
Through the snow and the sleet
On the coldest night of the year

Beware, beware, beware of the Naked Man

Old lady head up toward Broad Street
Shufflin' uptown against the wind
She had started to cry-wiped a tear from her eye
And looked back to see where she had been

Old lady stand on the corner
With a purse in her hand
She does not know but in a minute or so
She will be robbed by a naked man

Old lady lean against a lamppost
Starin' down at the ground on which she stand
She look up and scream
For the lamplight's beam
There stood the famous Naked Man

He say, "They found out about my sister
And kicked me out of the Navy,
They would have strung me up if they could.
I tried to explain that we were both of us lazy
And were doing the best we could."

He faked to the left and he faked to the right
And he snatched the purse from her hand
"Someone stop me," he cried,
As he faded from sight,
"Won't nobody help a naked man?"
"Won't nobody help a naked man?"

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

26. Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after. The end.

</grumpygit>