Why I love golf

[Superfly]

(Wifey sent this to me)

The following is not intended to offend fans of tennis, basketball, football or baseball. It is, rather, an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective.

Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who don't even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may shed some light :

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of players being honorable people who don't need referees.

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

Professional golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play.

Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them up.

The PGA raises more money for charity in 1 year than the NFL does in 2.

You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day every day for $25 or $30. The cost for even a nosebleed seat at the Super Bowl costs around $300 or more unless you buy it from scalpers in which case it's $1,000+.

You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. If you bring a soft drink into a ballpark, they'll give you two options -- get rid of it or leave.

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

Golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.

Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.

Golf doesn't have free agency.

In their prime, Palmer, Norman, and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."

You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament. Ladies are welcome players.

At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.

Tiger hits a golf ball over twice as far as Barry Bonds hits a baseball.

Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

And Finally :

Here's a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy.

Why do golf courses have 18 holes - not 20, or 10, or an even dozen?

During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

[midnight armadillo]

1. Interesting...except for one

I am not a golf fan, not in the slightest. I care about golf about as much as I care for professional bridge. Your list here is quite interesting however - perhaps golf has more going for it than I thought! :-) I do take exception to one point: Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood. Golf courses not only take up huge amounts of land they also typically require massive inputs of fertilizers, pesticides, and herbicides to keep running. So, as far as 'ruining the neighborhood' goes, it's hard to beat a tennis or bball court for compactness.

[Superfly]

2. Never thought of that.

Nothing like seeing a verdant golf course outside of Phoenix, AZ.

[GOPisEvil]

3. Yes and no...

There are some golf courses that do not use pesticides or harsh fertilizers because of their proximity to aquifers and other sources of drinking water.

Also, a lot of municipal courses here in Texas are irrigating with reclamated water, so their effect on overall water supply is lessened.

[ProfessorGAC]

4. What GOPisEvil, Said!

The Professor

[meegbear]

5. Golf to me is soooooo republican ....

You have to go to a special place; you can't play in in the street or field.

You have to spend hundreds of dollars for the equipment.

You have to pay a fee to play.

You have to pass a special criteria to be allowed to play there.

They are infamous for discriminating against groups of people.

[Superfly]

8. Okaaaayyy...

You have to go to a special place; you can't play in in the street or field.

-So? You can't swim in a street or field?

You have to spend hundreds of dollars for the equipment.

- Yeah that sucks...just like skiing, mountain biking, climbing, hiking, running, etc.

You have to pay a fee to play.

- That sucks too, just like skiing, etc. etc.

You have to pass a special criteria to be allowed to play there.

- Such as?

They are infamous for discriminating against groups of people.

- Yeah, just like baseball, football, etc. etc. etc

[ProfessorGAC]

9. All So Easily Refutable, I Won't Even Bother

You're just wrong on all counts. You are taking a few specifics and generalizing to the whole. That's not good logic. It's called guessing.
The Professor

[meegbear]

13. So I'm guessing you never pay a fee when you play then ...

or I'm guessing when the Masters wouldn't allow women to play or clubs that won't allow blacks or jews.

Just a guess I guess.

[GOPisEvil]

14. You're generalizing.

Are there assholes who play golf and run golf courses? Yes.

Are all of us assholes? No. See my post below regarding municipal courses.

[Superfly]

15. Can men play in the LPGA?

Just a question.

[ProfessorGAC]

16. Thank You For Proving My Point

That was easy. See what happens with inverse logic, hmmmmm?
The Professor

[Braden]

20. there are clubs that don't allow non jews

as well. There are two within 2 miles of my house. Easy with your discriminatory tones.

I play in a regular group with four guys from different Backgrounds and I think your generalizations probably stem from your distance from the game.

Give it a try. You can buy used gear in and around the $100 range. Play at a municipal course that wont require you to pass any certification and you just might enjoy it.

[GOPisEvil]

10. Well, my Democratic self plays all the time.

You have to pass a special criteria to be allowed to play there.

Huh? I'm missing something there.

1. Agreed, but so what?
2. Not necessarily, I can outfit you with clubs for less than $100.
3. You pay fees to join certain gyms, fees to swim in public pools, etc. What's your point?
5. They? Who is they? Certain golfers are racists and sexists, and Republican and ad infinitum. I play on municipal courses primarily. I play with golfers of all ages, races and sexes.

Not all of us are country club assholes.

[chadm]

11. Wait, I thought they were "honorable" people?

I agree. Too Republican.

[GOPisEvil]

12. Well, should I stop playing then?

Or, should I turn in my "Liberal" card?

[ProfessorGAC]

17. Yawn!

Gee, i never heard that before. I wonder if the truck driver, plumber, sales guy, teacher, and political consultant i play with are Repubs too! (Answer, in case you missed the sarcasm is a resolute, NO!)
The Professor

[underpants]

6. The part about the language at football games is dead on

I've only been to one NFL game,the first game in Baltimore in the new stadium against the Steelers. The language I heard was quite horrific and I can cuss with the best of 'em.

I had heard rumors that Kordell Stewart might be gay. By the 45th time the loudmouth sitting behind me declared this and vividly described acts that gays are said to engage it I almost cared if he was.

Opening kickoff, new stadium, a new beginning, everyone's standing. The play is over and I am standing there when I hear from DIRECTLY behind me a fan who is rather upset about someone who is standing up in front of him (not that the seats aren't engineered so your view is never blocked),

"You $%*%^($%^* sit your (#$*%#$*%#* #$$ $*%&ing down NOW you @#$(#*$ $#@($%* #$(*%*#"

I turn to a co-worker (it was a corporate event) and start to say, "damn that guy is pissed at someone" when I realize I'm the only one still standing. HE'S YELLING THIS AT ME! Not to make myself sound all bad assed but this was a corporate event with clients there so getting into it with some idiot 30 seconds into the game didn't sound like a good idea. As I am deciding (less time than it took to type this) I get more

$%#$(&#$%#*P&$#

Finally I turn around and there in full purple Ravens garb is a family of four. The boy was about 12 and the little girl was about 8. The whole family looked exactly alike in a Sasquatch kinda way.


I guess I come from a family where I didn't see things like that done and was taught that it was wrong anyway.

I'd have serious reservations about taking a kid of mine to a NFL game. I've never seen anything like that at any of the many college games I've been to.

[Braden]

7. Nice I couldnt agree more.

In my life as a sports fan.

I have been given the finger by Tony Larussa because I walked into a stadium owned by the city of Phoenix and dared to watch the Oakland A's run through spring training practice.

Have asked Barry Bonds for an autograph in Tempe, AZ, when he was there to be inducted into the Arizona State sports hall of fame and was told to "leave me the F*** alone"

I met him again in Miami and he was much nicer. But did he have to go profane? No.

I have met more golfers than I can list here and the worst thing aver said to me was, "you again ? "(fred couples after going into the Mens Room at the Bay Hill Clubhouse three different times in the same day. )

[ArkDem]

18. A fifth consists of 750 ml and

there are 25.36052 ounces in 750 ml. Must be odd sized shots.

[mrbill]

19. thoughts and rebuttal..............

Golf courses do not ruin neighborhoods. They can take a plot of land and keep it in an almost native state. Golf courses can protect the environment and provide the player a spiritual quest through nature. The golf god are a fun loving bunch to deal with.

Some courses even have environmental zones such as protected wetlands, which are considered out of bounds. If the greenskeeper knows what he/she is doing, not much of that expensive fertilizer is going to run off into the water supply.

Would you rather have grass, trees, flowers and critters or a lot of concrete slabs in your neighborhood? What ruins the neighborhood is when some developer buys the golf course and builds a wallymart and a high density housing area.

You can't play golf in a street or field. Wanna bet? Part of the game for dedicated players can be practice, you can do that almost anywhere there's a mowed area. No need to go to the driving range and pay big bucks, just buy about 4-dozen good used golf balls for about 20 bucks from your local second-hand sporting goods store. My local muni has free practice tee(s), sometimes i go down to the city soccer field down by the sewer farm and then there's the pasture during hay season. Tip on hitting out of a steet, don't take a divot and allow for extra roll.

Hundred of bucks on equipment? Prices may vary greatly, a new high tech super space-age driver can cost $425 by itself, or whole set of starter clubs can be well under a hundred dollars. I'm just pleased as punch with a set of Tommy Armour 855s irons (3-9+pw,sw,lw) that cost $207 on ebay. Then there's the growing putter collection.....

Mrbill isn't scared of republican assholes and discrimination on the golf course. Just let them see some old skinny fart with a ponytail and a chairman mao teeshirt hit a 3-iron 230 yards dead solid perfect and they tend to be nice to him. Sometimes the republicans will even try to get you to play with them for money.

Another one for the original post - golf is the only sport in which players call penalties on themselves.

[mrbill]

21. on the down side.......

95% of all golf clubs are nade in china.