Halloween costume dilemna and question.

[Bunny]

Dear DU,

My first mistake? I let the ex-SO take my kids shopping for their Halloween costumes. What does he do? He lets the twelve yr. old get a French Maid costume!

Am I wrong in thinking that this is a little inappropriate for a 12 yr. old? I told the ex that it was, he thinks I'm just uptight. He sees nothing wrong with it at all.

She tried it on, and the dress comes down to her knees. She doesn't have much on top yet, so there's no bosom to speak of on display. It actually looks pretty demure on her, but isn't there a certain risque connotation to French Maid costumes?

I told her I wasn't sure she'd be allowed to wear it - she's mad and can't figure out what the problem is.

Should I let her wear it, or am I being too twitchy about this?

Sincerely,

Concerned Mother bunnyj

[skygazer]

1. Personally

I think it's completely inappropriate. And I can see why he's an ex!

[soothsayer]

2. I think it's ok, since it's just a connotation and not an actuality

But my GF said no, she doesn't like the idea. Then she said it was ok, as long as you keep your eye on her so no dirty old men grab her.

[jdots]

3. Dear Mother Bunny

I have a swell costume for your ex...........A Skippy Deptula costume made from 3/4 inch medium density fiberboard .

[almostallhere]

4. the thing that would give me pause

is that she would be walking around wearing something that she didn't understand the connotations of... kind of like letting someone walk around with their fly unzipped and not telling them (not quite the same, but sort of)...

[L84TEA]

5. no that isn't appropriate....

I wouldn't let my 17 yr old wear that costume.

[Mizmoon]

6. Trust your instincts, mom

You don't need anyone to approve of what your gut is telling you. You know what you're doing.

[mikehiggins]

7. I wouldn't let my daughter wear something like that when she

was twelve, and I'd probably be annoyed if she wore one today at 26.

The last time I saw her in a halloween costume she was dressed like Cleopatra in a golden gown and was stunning, to say the least. Better she masquerades as a powerful woman than a servant, IMHO.

[davsand]

8. I think women respond more viscerally to the French Maid costume.

My 7 year old is doing the female Vampire thing this year complete with full eye makeup and red lipstick and fangs. That outfit is WAY more adult than I'd let her ever wear for "Real Life"--but I'm OK with it because it is a Halloween thing.

I'm with you, however, on the French maid thing--it'd make me nuts to let my kid wear that out--but I associate that outfit specifically with sexual overtones. It isn't about fun or creepy--it is about sex, IMO. I'm not sure that men see it the same way.

Is it possible your ex saw this as a costume and never associated it with the sex aspect of it?


Laura

[Bunny]

9. I'm certain he never considered the sexual aspect of it.

He's a bit of an a-hole, but he's not a pervert! :)

I agree with you and the other posters - it's just too sexualized to be appropriate for a 12 yr. old girl. That's that. She can be a witch or some other suitable costume.

Thanks for all your help!

[radwriter0555]

10. nah it's fine. so long as it's not provocative, don't impose the innuendo

on the child.

It sounds really cute, and if you try to explain to her, it will get WAY WAY more complicated than the 2 hours worth of wearing need ever have.

Get twitchy about something that matters, choose your battles... it will be FINE!!!!

:)