Does anyone know where I can find those nude pics of Dr. Laura?

[hollywood926]

She is doing a book signing in Thousand Oaks, CA and I just thought I'd like to get her to sign those pictures for me. You know, something to pass down to the ol' grandkids.

Any help is appreciated.

[trotsky]

1. Bartcop has them.

http://www.bartcop.com

Not sure what the exact URL is though.

[Dookus]

2. lol.... awesome

http://homepage.interaccess.com/~harryusa/comments/drlaura.html

[Soup Bean]

5. You rock, Dookus.

lol

[hollywood926]

7. HAHAHA Thanks! She should take her bikini top off...

when she sunbathes.

Ewww. I've been drinking and she's still a monstrosity.

But this is going to be fun! I'll report back after the book/nude photo signing!!!

[Soup Bean]

3. I saw them once...

...she was pretty hot. Too bad she turned into such a harpy.

[BoX o BooX]

4. They burned my retinas.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

[-..__...]

6. It looks she needs a Lady Schick or hedge trimmer.

[BoX o BooX]

8. Yeah, the winter bush was in full bloom.

Of course, women didn't trim so much back then.

[Dookus]

9. No kidding...

looks like she's straddling a pomeranian.

[-..__...]

11. It probably barks and nips at you if you get too close.

[maveric]

15. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You made my night Dookus!

[Blue-Jay]

10. HAVE SOMEONE VIDEOTAPE IT!

Seriously. You could sell that tape to Comedy Central!

[hollywood926]

12. I was thinking that...and I'm going to have to buy her stupid book...

and slip the pics in the front where she signs. Well, it will be worth it. O8)

[General Zod]

13. You do not want to see them......Trust me!

[BoX o BooX]

14. I met the guy who took those pics 25 years ago.

A nicer, warmer human being you could not hope to know. He died a few weeks ago.

Shortly after the story of the pics broke, my father died. An old friend of mine, who had dated the photographer in question, attended my dad's funeral. I took her aside and asked her if this fellow had any pics of her. She assured me that she cleaned out his files of her pics when they broke up (amicably.) Dad would have liked that story.

"Doctor" Laura is a putz. I hope she gets a rash.

[maveric]

16. Bill Balance?

He worked on San Diego radio for years. I didnt know that he died.

[BoX o BooX]

17. Yeah, just recently.

It was in the U-T. He was a hoot!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

18. Why?????????????????

Halloween's over?????


EUFALA 1

Red woolen cap
with ragged pulls and tears smells of rain,
smeared with shit.

Matted hair, kinky, defying any comb,
smelling of mildew.
And occasionally drops,
in clandestine clumps.
And is never really missed

Her face is war torn wrinkles, mapping roads
from painful yesterdays to a numb today,
taking a reader deeper
than one would ever want to go.
Her eye-whites are yellow, with
a crusted yellow mucous that
cakes where sunshine strikes.
The amber crystals meet with
white crusted snot on an upper lip
over a permanent grin
of missing teeth and pyorrhea.
A broken nose
from a first husband, not centered.
smells the stench though.

Her shoulders curled
for fear and wear,
covered by salvation
army sweaters and
coat that once covered
the shoulders of women that wore Este Lauder.
now smelling
like the privates festering beneath skirt
and pants.
Not washed for months.
Legs shake and warp
the diet takes its toll.
And is turning her bones
into memories.

She sits in the park
in front of the swings
watching the children play,
and imagines a time
when her father would push (push)
her, oh, so high.
His strong hands (hands)
Would catch her (catch her)
slim waist, and push again
(not again).

And in her mind,
the swing would fly back again, to earth,
and start a return to sky, catching her father's
head with the rusty edge,
driving deep into his brain, smashing hard,
letting out the countless years of pain.
They spiral out, then cascade,
pouring out like springtime rain,
(faeries dancinq in delight,
Catchinq bits of brain in buttercups,
offerinq all to those who thirst)
touching everything,
but covering nothing.



EUFALA 2

You get used to pain.
And happiness belongs to the beholder.

syphilis takes a nibble.
a brain cell here and there.
Destroying hope and wonderment
withdrawing things that care.

Synaptic functions,
once quick, once true,
now kindly ignore
any darkened view.

Inurement to Reality gives joy.



Eufala 3

Corn, corn, cornucopious
dumpsters on the street
wafting scents of potato and roast
wet dreams of fresh cooked meat.