I need some cheering up

[Beaverhausen]

Oh heck...I need hugs.

I know a lot of you- ok most of you - don't know me well but I am going thru a really hard time with my...well...he was my boyfriend for over three years. He broke up with me but we have sort of been back together. I am just having a hard time with this because he now wants the relationship to be not as serious as it was and in fact there is another woman involved.

But he has been extra sweet and attentive to me...

Its too complicated to explain it all here.

I just need some sympathy!!!
:cry:

[mac56]

1. Better days ahead.

:pals:

[Lavender Brown]

2. I'm sorry to hear you're down

:hug: :grouphug: :pals:

[underpants]

3. Awww

:hug: :grouphug: :pals:

[Book Lover]

4. Hey there

:hug:

Just for you. Stay strong, sister :-)

[Fenris]

5. Oh, honey.

:hug:

[Flammable Materials]

6. Relationships drive me insane.

And I'm entering the fifth year of my second marriage.

Zoloft is my friend.

Trust me, being single isn't always a bad thing.

:grouphug:

[MISSDem]

7. You have my sympathy but I hope you

get over letting anyone make you feel bad like that. Life is too short.

[Champ]

8. Same here

I feel ya, why can't it just be you and him right? Ever since my early teen years I've dreamt of a relationship that it was only me and my SO vs the rest of the world. It feels like I am loosing that with my current one, things just haven't seemed the same.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

9. Hugs, sympathy

good vibes, whatever you need!!!

:hug:

[plcdude]

10. It is time

for you to be doing the same. Meet other people. Go to different places. Begin making your life your own. In the long run you must take control of your life and make yourself happy by exploring things that interest you and give you a sense of self-worth. Be on your own rather than all alone. It is a matter of perspective. You have an opportunity to do some growing on your own and it can be a very good thing.

[progmom]

11. Hugs.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

:grouphug:

[Phillycat]

12. God, I hear you.

My relationship is really hard right now. The fact is that his feelings for me just aren't as strong as mine for him. I have tried to be very patient, but it's tough and I feel like I'm not getting any of my needs met. I think he's worth the wait, but then sometimes I feel like a fool for waiting around. I feel like I deserve better.

I don't have any words of advice (clearly I don't know about having a good relationship either!) but I can give a :hug: anyway.

[Beaverhausen]

13. The holidays are coming and I'm a female in LA

it's the hardest time of year to deal with this.

and finding someone else here is very hard. A woman over 30 has a very hard time here in Los Angeles.

I was alone for a long time before this one came along. I don't do alone very well.


Thanks everyone!

[HereSince1628]

15. Women over 30 find it difficult. It's my L.A. daughters great fear

at 28 she is absolutely in a panic, and that is doing in her opportunities.

I'll give you the advice I get from DU'ers when I lament about being out of work for so many months I took a job at less than 1/3 my salary.

GO TO THE OPPORTUNITIES! It really isn't "bad" advice but sometimes it is very difficult to extract yourself from the geographic ties that bind. And like where would that be????????? Somewhere there are a lot of single 35-45 year old men...and THAT sounds like LA!!!!

I am hopeful that this WILL work out for you.

[Rainbowreflect]

14. Do not settle for less than you deserve!

:hug:

[fudge stripe cookays]

16. Whatever you do...

don't settle.

I've been through this scenario several times, and I could kick myself for falling for it.

The "I don't want us to be as serious as we were" crap means he wants to string you along for when whatshername is busy or isn't in the mood.

You deserve so much more than that.

It may sound corny, but I "met" reprehensor online when I was 32. And he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Farm out. Don't go for the LA dudes. You get fake pretty boys.

Ever think of Canadians? I can highly recommend them. And if the chips are down, you could escape if you wanted to.

Try online dating, and look for folks outside the USA. You never know...

FSC

[catmandu57]

17. I agree 100%

with FSC and everyone else here, don't sell yourself short.

[Beaverhausen]

18. so better to be alone and somewhat miserable than to be with

a less than perfect mate?

This is the dilemna to me. I don't think I will ever find a man who will fulfill all my needs and be exactly what I want. So I am with this one now who, when he is good is very, very good.

and just FYI the other woman lives 6 hours away and he said that relationship won't ever become anything...

[catmandu57]

19. Do it then

Just don't do anything out of feeling desparate. I've seen your photo and you're a very lovely woman, being alone is not the worst thing in the world, anyone as attractive as you should'nt worry about things like this.
Big Hug Beaver.

[liontamer]

20. It's not a matter of a less than perfect mate

the problem is a less than present mate. If you need a certain level of attachment that he can't or won't give, you're just going to feel disappointed and incomplete no matter how sweet he is.

[NC_Nurse]

21. I send you love and hugs

:hug:

And I have to say....time to move on. If he has introduced someone else into the relationship it's probably over. I'd move on....if LA is so bad, you can always move. It's better than settling for someone who won't be there for you.

Get some space and I bet you'll realize things haven't been "good" for a while.....

[skygazer]

22. I'm sorry you're feeling so down

It's especially hard when the holidays are just around the corner. No one but you can decide how to deal with this but I will tell you - I was 40 when I met my very special someone. I had about given up on ever finding someone who would appreciate me for who I am and then he walked into my life when I wasn't even looking.

Don't ever just settle because you're afraid the right one is never coming along. I really believe there is a right one out there for all of us. Sometimes it takes longer to find them is all. :hug: :grouphug: :hug: