Alright you kids - one night only - here's the keys to the Grotto.

[short bus president]

Now, I don't know all of you younguns, but I know and trust Kleeb and Maggie, so they're host and hostess tonight. The staff have been instructed to comply with all applicable laws to the extent possible, and to consult our house attorney (Lionel Hutz, Esq.) on the rest. We're confident nobody will ever find out about any questionable behaviors here tonight.

Velma and I are going to be checking ID at the door. If you're old enough to buy yer own drinks, you won't be gaining admission. Oldsters are stuck out in the ball pit tonight. And please, old folks - don't try the fake ID thing. You wouldn't like Velma when she's mad.

[Worst Username Ever]

1. *sigh* always wanted to be invited to "The Mansion." Dammit, Hef.

[progmom]

59. I once went to a party at the mansion.

But Hef wasn't there, and well...it wasn't really all that fun.

:boring:

[JVS]

2. yoink, It's my grotto now! bwahahahhahahahhahahahahaha

[JohnKleeb]

3. Where's Maggie?

I need a nice lovely to host with, :(.

[short bus president]

5. I dunno - haven't seen her around today.

You'll have to host on yer own, or find someone else to help you out 'til the young lady can make it. If you have anyone in mind, I'd be happy to send the limo driver to pick her up for you.

[JohnKleeb]

6. hmmm

I am sure, I can hold my own, its just nice to work with Maggie.

[short bus president]

13. Well, clearly.

I'm with you in hoping she shows up. She's not normally one to miss the Grotto, even when it's just another boring old fogies night.

But if you do decide you'd like to ask someone else to hep you jeebus with the hosting, lemme know. I mean hell, even Mr. Rourke had to have SOME help with hosting. And yes, that is a reference to a TV show from way before yer time. Hmph.

[JohnKleeb]

16. dont know whats she's doing

but yeah always a pleasure to work with her.

[short bus president]

19. Yus - still, you don't seem to be following me, young Kleeb.

I KNOW there are some other young ladies here, in roughly your age bracket, who would make perfectly cromulent guest hostesses in their own right. I'm not naming any names or anything, but the offer stands - you tell us who you think could fill in, and we'll send the limo.

[JohnKleeb]

21. I really cant think of anyone

I know of one but I think she's busy.

[short bus president]

32. *cough* Excuse me *cough* Terrible cold.

*cough* *hack* Duckie *cough* *sputter*

[JohnKleeb]

34. duckie isn't my age

and she's stealing music right now but if she wants to, sure.

[short bus president]

45. I'm sure she's not

"stealing" anything. Except possibly your affections. I shall see if the limo driver can hunt her down.

[JohnKleeb]

46. go for it

[YellowRubberDuckie]

55. I was swiping music off Limewire.

[short bus president]

56. That's not swiping.

That's SHARING. Or possibly "copyright infringement" if you don't have all the right permissions.

;-)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

51. That was SOOOO subtle.

LMAO
What do you want me to do!?
Duckie

[short bus president]

54. Hey hon, I'm just the ID check guy and co-bouncer.

And yeah, sorry if I coughed on ya. Nasty cold here.

Young Mr. Kleeb seems to be doing alright keeping people's glasses filled, but he could use an assist with the "sparking pleasant conversation amongst the gathered masses" thing. You went to finishing school, right? So get out there and finish some folks!

:P

[JohnKleeb]

57. thanks shortbus and duckie

[realisticphish]

4. whoa whoa whoa

if kleeb can get in, then you sure as HELL better not check ID :)


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[JimmyJazz]

7. The ID would be to TOSS OUT anyone over 18!

:7

[JohnKleeb]

9. kinky, charmed :D

[realisticphish]

11. i think not!

make it 19, and i might not call the cops :)

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[GOPisEvil]

8. What the hell?

Old people stuck in the ball pit?

Check out the colors, man. :smoke:

[JimmyJazz]

10. FTR - next time rent a moonbounce instead of a ball pit for the

old folk - much preferable. Sorta like this one:



Please.

[GOPisEvil]

12. Yeah, like that, but much bigger...

...with plenty of dark, secluded corners...

[short bus president]

14. Been watching Revenge of the Nerds again, David?

I'll get my Darth Vader mask if you'll put on the cheerleader outfit!

[GOPisEvil]

15. Yes, all nerds ARE that good.

:7

[short bus president]

17. Call me 'Booger.'

Unfortunately, there's much less magic these days in the phrase "we've got bush."

[GOPisEvil]

18. Yeah, but "that's MY pie" still has magic.

:D

[JohnKleeb]

20. do you have the catholic schoolgirl outfit too?

[VelmaD]

27. No...

that would be me. :evilgrin:

[JohnKleeb]

28. Velma how you doing

[VelmaD]

29. Marginal...

I'm fighting off a cold and I have to do laundry tonight. Blech.

[JohnKleeb]

31. that sucks

I gotta do a load of crap tonight for school, sigh.

[yvr girl]

50. secluded corners

are a good thing. Just ask Martha.

[JimmyJazz]

58. Who is Martha and why would she know about secluded corners?

:shrug:

[short bus president]

60. Martha Washington

'cuz they didnae have the electricity back then, so EVERY corner in yer house (all 4 of 'em) was secluded!

[JimmyJazz]

61. Thank you for clarifying that Short Slut President -

I was wondering. I thought perhaps she was making fun of my idol, Martha Stewart - the women who taught me everything I know about co-ordinating bath towels, hanging wall paper, decorating living rooms with large children's toys...you know, stuff like that!

Oh and when to plant begonias...

How to make a flower arrangement from colored toilet paper...

Okay, I'm finished. :P

[short bus president]

62. Whaddaya mean

"coordinating bath towels?" You have more than one bath towel?

[JimmyJazz]

64. Um, yeah. Don't tell me you don't! Aren't you the one

who can't operate the washing maching in your basement?

Jeez - tell me you at least change your skivies more than once a week!

[GOPisEvil]

68. His towels "coordinate".

All those towels stolen from area "No-Tell Motels" are matching plain white.

[yvr girl]

70. You're just trying to achieve the 'Spa Look' on the cheap

aren't you. Do you put blue kool ade in your toilet?

[JimmyJazz]

73. Why yes, yes I do....

It reminds me of my trip to Bermuda where the water is just that color!

[GOPisEvil]

75. It might look like kool-aid, but...

...don't drink the water. :scared:

[yvr girl]

77. Trust me I have never been that thirsty

[short bus president]

79. Hmph.

You and I must not drink in the same circles.

;-)

[GOPisEvil]

91. That would be a good thing.

[miss_kitty]

83. well that's a theme.

all white, all no-tell motel? Sounds co-ordinated to me.

[JimmyJazz]

89. Actually, I think he frequents a different chain of Inns.

Just a hunch.

[GOPisEvil]

90. There's a chain of motels that charge by the hour?

:scared:

[short bus president]

69. Well, you misunderstand. Sure, I have more than one.

But I only use one at a time. Once the active-duty towel thinks I've used it enough (a few times a year, on average) it walks itself down to the basement and grabs one of its brethren from the pile in the corner and sends it upstairs. Troop rotation.

[yvr girl]

65. I was making a reference to the Martha who hails from

Camp Cupcake

[JimmyJazz]

71. I think my parents sent me there one time. But, I didn't like it so

much. They wouldn't let me leave even though I was homesick. But, I kept a diary and it's being published later - so if you want to know more about my experience, you'll have to buy the book!

BTW - did you call me "cupcake?"

[yvr girl]

72. Sounds juicy

C'mon give us a preview.

[JimmyJazz]

78. You need a preview??? Hell, everyone in the Lounge has already

seen my ass, what more do you want?

[short bus president]

81. Seen it, hell.

I know more than a few people who've taken a ride. Stop playin' hard to get, already. :P

[GOPisEvil]

85. ...and a cute ass it is!

:D

[yvr girl]

93. I've heard about it, but I have not seen it

somehow I missed out.

[GOPisEvil]

94. It's cute. Furry, too.

:D

[short bus president]

96. And, if I may add,

well toned and ready for the ridin'.

;-)

[JimmyJazz]

98. Okay, but really this is the LAST time:

Nice, huh?

[GOPisEvil]

99. Awwwww...can I ride your ass one more time, for old times?

:D

[JimmyJazz]

100. Did you bring your saddle blanket? Oh hell,

I can't do this here! The young ones are supposed to be hanging out in the grotto - what will they think of me?

[GOPisEvil]

102. Yeehaw!

:-)

[JimmyJazz]

105. Jeez - not in front of the kids...

:P

[GOPisEvil]

106. I know...someone has to think of the children.

:P

[short bus president]

107. Oh, thank GAWD!

I was gettin' damn tired of it always having to be ME. And I'm sure the bear was prolly gettin' pretty sick of mauling 'em after all this time, too.

:P

[short bus president]

101. one quick kick

for Ms. Jimmy's sexy ass!

:kick:

[JimmyJazz]

103. I thought it was my

saxy ess?

I'm sorry but I'm getting mexed missages.

[yvr girl]

104. I've never seen anything quite like it

Come to think of it, you look familiar. Have you ever been to Puerto Vallarta?

[JimmyJazz]

108. No - Cancun and Cozumel, though - my only trips

south of the border! But, I'm not really allowed back to Cancun...It's a long story and another one of my soon to be published books....I'm also not allowed in Nassua or Kingston or...well, you get the idea.

[yvr girl]

110. It sounds sort of... well, sordid

not that there's anything wrong with that. But at least you weren't the guy on the beach.

[JimmyJazz]

111. No - I can assure you that that was not me!

[short bus president]

112. Just for the sake of comparison, tho -

could ya whip out yer "package" and make us all feel a little more comfortable that yer not some beach-roaming weirdo little girl stalker?

[yvr girl]

113. I never saw the unwrapped package

It was close, but I won.

[short bus president]

115. You should've played blind,

felt around inquisitively, then grabbed hold of that sucker and RAN.

[yvr girl]

119. Nooooooooooooooooooo

He wanted me to touch him. Catching rays did things to him I guess. The only thing that kept me where I was were stubbornness and stupidity.

[JimmyJazz]

114. no can do senor Short Slut!

[short bus president]

117. Por Que, dulce mia?

¿debo hacer la pregunta acerca de los tacos y de "los perros del maíz?"

:D

[JimmyJazz]

118. I like "los perros del maiz" in others.

What can I tell ya?

[short bus president]

120. Ah, si.

Mi perro del maíz es feliz hacer su conocido.

:P

[JimmyJazz]

121. como se dice en ingles:

"hacer su conocido" - the rest, I got

[short bus president]

122. I'm afraid that was a bad effort at

"My corn dog is pleased to make your acquaintance."

However, backtranslated through the google thing, it said something about knowing my corndog in a special way or something. I figured you'd sort out the details. :P

[yvr girl]

123. I got the corn part

I thought it was something about the father of the corn, which made no sense. I'd do better in French.

[short bus president]

74. Are there pictures?

I don't buy books without pictures.

:D

[GOPisEvil]

80. Better yet...pop up books!

:7

[short bus president]

84. *snort*

I'm rigid with anticipation.

[JimmyJazz]

87. Alert AGAIN - you said

*snort* - a clear reference to illegal drugs! I'm telling on you!

SKKKKKKIIIIINNNNEEEERRRRR - Short Bus snorted.

[short bus president]

88. but I didn't inhale!

:P

[miss_kitty]

22. get THAT for the kids. then WE can have the grotto all to ourselves

Muwahahahahahahaha

:evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

23. That's normal for the grotto.

SBP is just letting the kids have their day today.

[miss_kitty]

24. I know.

But I am selfish a piggy adult. Children don't deserve the butter. Let them eat margarine!

:evilgrin:

[short bus president]

25. NO BUTTER IN THE BALL PIT!

Gawd, now we're gonna be all greasy, and flavorful!

[GOPisEvil]

26. Whatever you do, don't turn the heat up!

We'll be sauteed! :o

[miss_kitty]

33. This is precisely WHY we need to have the Grotto always

But if you promised, I guess you'll have to let them have it. I hope you told them not to PEE in there. They ARE kids after all. Adults would NEVER do that!. And NEVER have I'm sure!


ok /sarcasm. I can't keep that shitty non-progressive attitude up even PRETENDING. I don't know how some people do it for real!

Enjoy, Kids!

:hi:

[short bus president]

38. Trust me

the ball pit is MUCH less sanitary than the pool.

See the big "no open wounds" sign on the wall?

[miss_kitty]

42. well then can we get the thinger that JimmyJazz suggested?

The bouncy castle? Just cuz I am not a rugged as I used to be...

[short bus president]

43. Yes. I think we should have several of those.

And why do ya suppose it is that yer use of the term "rugged" has me thinking of shag carpeting burns?

;-)

[JimmyJazz]

67. Alert! Alert! You said

"shag"

:7

[short bus president]

76. Am I

making you HORNY, babe?

[JimmyJazz]

82. OMG - Is this YOU???

[short bus president]

86. Hah! Try this one:

[Hillaryin08]

30. I wanna do a chemical analysis

on the water at the grotto. I bet they use buckets of bleach. Blechhhh!

[miss_kitty]

35. No. this is a PROGRESSIVE board!

We'll run the water through UV light filters. and other bio filtration systems. But please go light on the peeing!

Thanks! :hi:

[SarahB]

36. Will there be polls?

As to kink level? ;)

[JohnKleeb]

37. I guess

god I wish I had help here.

[SarahB]

39. Ahem....

Back in the day here....
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=73585

[JohnKleeb]

41. I was on vacation :)

[miss_kitty]

47. Ahhh ye-e-esssss

the fabled 'Mature Sex Thread' days. I have heard of their existance in the past. Spoken of fondley. Up until now, I had believed them to be mythic.

Interesting you could just 'come up' with one. ;-)

[SarahB]

49. ShortBus recently reminded me of that thread.

It's not my fault. I am not a perv! Not like them!! ;)

[short bus president]

40. Those only live

in the archives. I think they're kept around as symbols of the depravity that reigned before the glorious time of the Bunched Panty PC Whiner State we all enjoy now.

[SarahB]

44. Yeah, well...

I hope those don't disappear. I have some nice, little memories that stemming from all that depravity even though I never acted all that depraved publicly back then. I think it's all just a side effect of this place growing I suppose.

[TheMightyFavog]

48. DRUNKEN BALL PIT FIGHT!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*throws balls at sbp

[short bus president]

52. Dude - not cool!

Do you have ANY idea where those balls have been?

I'll forgive you 'cause yer new here. Have a cold beer, and some lysol! And if you want, enjoy one of the moonbounce toys. They're pretty cool. And much more sanitary than the ball pit.

[zbdent]

53. Awright, who put the P back

in the ool?

[meisje]

63. Don't drink the water

[short bus president]

66. Certainly not.

It's grotesque.

[JohnKleeb]

92. Can I have a beer?

[short bus president]

95. Who are you askin'? The bouncers?

It's yer shindig, Kleebsan.

:toast:

[JohnKleeb]

97. it is?

ahh so it is, I am gonna have a beer now :beer:.

[short bus president]

109. pace yerself.

You don't wanna be all shitplastered if Maggie comes by in a bit.

[TheMightyFavog]

116. Wheeeeeeee!!!

Nothing like bouncing around in a moonbounce thingy while pissed up on Jack Daniel's!