Now on PAX - Duck and Cover!

[Gothic Sponge]

http://www.solidarity.com/hkcartoons/duckandcover.html

Or Duct......

[Sannum]

1. LOL

Very Funny!

[teach1st]

2. Duck Tape Question

Dear Aunt DU,

I tried taping my duck to help combat terribolism, but it only makes the quacking worse. Any advice?

Ducked Up in Podunk


Dear Ducked Up,

That's a common mistake. You should not apply the tape to the duck. Actually, what the good ol' boys from Texas had in mind was applying DUCT tape and plastic to the windows and doors of your house to protect against any dirty bomb effluence or stray microbial junk from that ugly chemical warfare.

Get you some duct tape and stop worrying. You'll be safe from all that terribolism and you can keep shopping and borrowing so you can get one of them new-fangled SUVs and just let us handle this poh-litical stuff. We know what we is doing. Hell, duct tape and plastic works good as a car window in my '72 Ford pickup down to the farm ('cept when I got to spit), so it must be good to protect you against fallout and microbes and suicide bombers and Bill Clinton.

Whether or not the terrorists have much interest in Podunk duck-keepers aside, we at DU have an alternate strategy. Keep the duck around - it'll make good eating during a terribolism attack and the down will keep you in pillows even when your local WalMart is awash in Uranium-based shrapnel. This will also take care of the quacking! In addition, we hear duct tape and plastic make servicible condoms, always useful during those long nights hiding from the anthrax wind, as long as the duct tape isn't wound too tight.

Hope this helps!