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My Friend Owes Me $300 and i dont know how to ask for it back

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:43 AM
Original message
My Friend Owes Me $300 and i dont know how to ask for it back
Edited on Wed Dec-01-04 10:43 AM by lionesspriyanka
How can i ask for the money without being crass?

FYI: i was brought up in a culture where talkign about money is considered VERY rude. i dont know how to do it.

pri
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
1. How did your friend ask for the $ to begin with?
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. he said he needed rent money and that he would pay me back
in a couple of weeks. its been 4-5 weeks
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. I would say "To make sure we avoid any awkward situation about that loan..
I would say "To make sure we avoid any awkward situation about that loan why don't we work out a repayment schedule so we won't have to discuss it."
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
2. ask a repubLican for heLp
they have no quaLms taLking about money.

and nonjoke form - just ask for it. if they don't have it, ask for some of it.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. dont know any repubs
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Beware the Beast Man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
3. Cement shoes seem to do the trick.
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:45 AM
Response to Original message
5. Just be honest.
If they're really your friend, they'll understand. Explain that you need the money back for rent or bills or something, and that if you didn't need it you wouldn't ask. I'm a big believer in honesty in friendships.
Duckie
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mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:46 AM
Response to Original message
8. "How soon do you think I can get that $300 back?"
$300 is a lot of money, and the holidays are near.
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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:08 AM
Response to Reply #8
21. That is a GREAT way to ask.
Good suggestion, mac56.
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The Blue Flower Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
9. You obviously need it
So if this person was friend enough for you to extend yourself, there should be enough reciprocal caring to help you out by giving it back. Tell the person you need it back--at least as much as that person can give.
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
10. Wear a baseball cap......
..that says "$300?" across the front of it every time you see them, until the debt is payed.
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NV Whino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
11. First of all...
Never lend money to friends. If a friend needs money, and you have it, simply give it to him or her with no expectations of getting it back. And make it clear that it is a gift. Saves friendships that way. (More often than not, you will get it back, by the way... or something equally valuable.)

In this case, set up a payment schedule. And expect bad feelings from said friend.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:53 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. i suspect you are right....
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
12. I had a friend who needed a place to stay - I said OK on the CONDITION
I had a friend who needed a place to stay - I said OK on the CONDITION that it would be one week only.

After two weeks - during which time he was an AWFUL house guest - I told him he had to leave.

"But I don't have anywhere to go," he said.

"We agreed on one week and it's been twice that," I replied.

He found another sucker that day and moved out the next day.

I think it's always best to clarify the terms of an arrangement in advance.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:52 AM
Response to Original message
13. It's not crass to discuss it but let me say offhand
I never lend money with the expectation of getting it back. The best way to ask is to say, "We need to work out a plan to get this 300$ repaid. What do you propose?"
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GOPFighter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
15. It depends on a couple of things
1. How badly do YOU need the money?
2. How financially strapped your friend is
3. What are the chances your friend will suddenly move away?
4. How important his friendship is to you?

In my opinion, you have every right to ask your friend when he expects t pay you back. And I agree with an earlier post, if he can't pay it all back now ask him for a partial payment if possible.

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:58 AM
Response to Reply #15
20. good questions
i dont need the money that badly

i dont know how cash strapped he is since he hasnt called since i lent him the money

he is typically good at returning money i owe hime

i am probably over-reacting anyway (drama queen)
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Paradise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
16. Set a date to meet him or her after work on pay day and
accompany to bank with hand extended...

Nothing crass about it...
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
17. Seriously, say "Let's figure this out to avoid an awkward situation"
Seriously, say "Let's figure this out to avoid an awkward situation".

Of course it already IS awkward - but if you talk about it as if you're preventing it from being so it will allow your friend to save face which should make things easier on you both.
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bif Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:56 AM
Response to Original message
18. Send him a card with your photo one it and "Got $300?"
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 10:57 AM
Response to Original message
19. Post #8 and-"You got my money?"
Or words to that effect.
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
22. my mom always told me never told lend it if I wasn't willing to lose it
That said, I think there is sage advice in the previous posts. Ask your friend what's up? Was he being too optimistic with a couple of weeks? Can he pay in increments?

You don't want to lose a friend over some money

:)
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:53 AM
Response to Reply #22
30. she has lost the friend
I've just read her follow-ups. The "friend" has taken her $300 and not contacted her since. It is highly unlikely he ever intends to pay.

Same thing happened to me. It has been 3 years. I used to see this friend EVERY week without fail.

The friendship is over. She can try asking for payments as I did with one friend years ago who at least signed an I.O.U. I at least got part of the money back, although the collection agency got most of it.

More likely, she doesn't have any proof she made the loan. The "friend" paid back small amounts in the past...classic set-up.

It happens to all of us. Live and learn. Once a "friend" asks for money, the friendship is dead. It's now a business relationship. And if the loan doesn't make sound business sense, don't make that loan.

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fluffernutter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
23. "Can I borroew $300.00 for my rent?"
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Jose Diablo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:24 AM
Response to Original message
24. Like it has been said here
just state that you need the money and ask for it.

Almost everyone has something that can be pawned for $300. He/she should have pawned something, but then they would have had to pay the money back. Going to a friend implies there is no intention of paying back anything. I think you will find you might as well kiss the money goodbye as well as your 'friend'.

Sorry to be blunt, but my experience has been when a 'friend' asks for money, then they are not really interested in being a 'friend'. Hurts, don't it.
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Beer Snob-50 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
25. how about this
"hey, i think you still owe me that 300 bucks i loaned you a while ago. i could really use it back right now. how about it?"
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soothsayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #25
27. That's my kind of wording! n/t
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MercutioATC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
26. For future reference: I never LEND money, I GIVE it.
Edited on Wed Dec-01-04 12:14 PM by MercutioATC
Sure, it's supposedly a loan, but I always consider it a gift. If I can't afford the gift, I don't give it. If I can, I do.

If I get it back, I'm pleasantly surprised.

It might make a difference if you looked at it that way...
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bif Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
28. As I always say: "A friend in need is a leech."
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 11:49 AM
Response to Original message
29. in the same boat
You'll never see it again. I've lost a 20 year friendship over this. Once someone asks you for money, they have ended the friendship and decided using you for money is more important because large sums of money just don't get paid back.

TO me the $350 I've been owed the last 3 years is HUGE...I have only a four figure annual income as it is.

I would never borrow such a sum so I should have never loaned it.

Once a friend asks for money, you've lost the friend in their mind anyway...might as well tell them NO.
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arcane1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
31. asking for it back is not crass...
not paying it back, however, is...

:(
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liontamer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
32. i'll ask him for you if you want
or you should mention that you need the money before you leave the city
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-01-04 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. no need to ask him. i will ask after my nb.
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