It's not Christmas

[the Princess]

Until a fist fight breaks out around the dinner table - and someone gets called a whore. (*sigh* I miss my family)

How about you - what traditions bring a tear to your eye?

*sniff*

[buckettgirl]

1. have you heard the song

Merry Christmas from the Family (originally by Robert Earl Keene, covered by Montgomery Gentry)
Its funny...its sad that its funny, but still funny nonetheless.

[Bertha Venation]

13. Didn't the Dixie Chicks record that, too?!

If it's the same one: great song!!

[Beware the Beast Man]

2. My new tradition of being a sactimonious fart during the holidays

Constantly bitching and whining in a selfish manner because I hate people, giving gifts and shiny lights.

[the Princess]

3. My Brotha!

I understand!

[Beware the Beast Man]

4. Umm. I was being sarcastic.

I love the holidays; the trippy lights, snow, cocoa, big lines at the mall, the whole enchilada.

[the Princess]

5. Sarcasm doesn't translate well online

Just sayin.

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. Eh, I know.

That's the magic of a Beast Man post. You have to figure me out for yourself.

[the Princess]

8. My brain hurts!

please stop.........lol

[Midlodemocrat]

10. Me too.

I have little ones and Christmas morning is still a delight to them and to me.

[Nag Champa]

6. When I assault the bigots who share my DNA...

Each year I make my own wrapping paper in a theme that is tasteful and festive yet counters their bigotry.

First year it was tasteful pictures of gay and lesbian couples in santa hats.

Following year was Kwanzaa.

Last year the wrap was very religious...except Jesus was black.

They always explode while I laugh and toast my wife.

When they are done being fuckwads, I like to remind them of their faith and ask them to refrain from judgement and to...yes....forgive me. Then I start planning for next year.

There are still a few pleasures left in Xmas for me.

[AlCzervik]

9. My family is full of passive agressives except for me

they'll be pissed at you but smile to your face and then let the air out of your tires while you're not looking. I'm so glad i live 3000 miles away.

[eyesroll]

11. So, are you usually the puncher or the punchee?

Do you end up called the whore, or end up calling someone else the whore?

[Bertha Venation]

12. I miss getting religious books from my paternal unit.

A few years ago he gave my sisters' kids cheesy portraits of Jesus Christ. You know, the one where a white man with flowing brown hair glows, looking slightly upward. :puke:

Now that I'm irrevocably out -- he's met Mrs. V., so he's had to bite down hard on the shit sandwich that is his reality -- he has given me over to Satan permanently. Works for me: instead of religious books, I get avocados for Xmas. Big, fresh, plentiful CA avocados from his backyard. :bounce: