Tell me a lie. Make it a good one.

[icymist]

Tom Ridge quit Homeland Sectary job because he thought too much about what he was doing!

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Tom Ridge quit homeland security

because the homeland is secure and there was nothing left for him to do.

[skypilot]

2. And he will be greatly missed.

*

[LSparkle]

3. Tom Ridge quit Homeland Security

so he can spend more time with John A**croft.

[eternalburn]

4. He quit because.....

...he was tired of hearing jokes about his color-coded terror alert system :)

[warrens]

5. Tom Ridge resigned

Because Cheney had a couple SS agents hold Ridge while Cheney pistol-whipped him, told him he was a namby-pamby liberal and if he wasn't out of his office by Tuesday he was really going to fuck him up. Then he stuck the gun in Ridge's mouth and made him nod his head in agreement.

[Dora]

6. You're supposed to lie, not theorize probable scenarios!

[MatrixEscape]

7. Ah aim reelee

George Bush! Jest wanta no wie my peepul don luv me.

Ah ewes a spullin' chacker b4 ah post hure mos tymes. Pleese bee nies 2 me mor betta so ah kan pheel cumpleetamented.

Half u red mie pet goet? It iz gooed.

[motely36]

8. Tom Ridge quit Homeland Secretary job

because they found out he was color blind

[underpants]

9. That's good

no really

[icymist]

10. Tell me all kind of lies, not just about Tom Ridge.....

He was just an example!


John Ashcroft has a S&m code word known as 'fluffy' and his safe word is 'eagle shit'!

[Midlodemocrat]

11. George Bush

...is leaving no child behind. No really, I checked.

[Ima]

12. Tom Ridge quit Homeland Secretary job

because he's moving to a foreign country, where it is safe.

[Beer Snob-50]

13. hillary clinton beat laura bush in a bake off when she made her famous

pineapple upside cake while laura made brownies made with a secret ingrediant which turned out to be pot.

[KurtNYC]

14. The accent * uses is totally put on. He does it to cover

a preppy New England accent which reminds those who have heard it of Thurston Howell the Third.

[buddysmellgood]

15. You live in a democracy.

[canadianbeaver]

16. BUSH WON THE ELECTION!! n/y

[KyndCulture]

17. Your vote was counted.

[icymist]

18. Absolutely no voting irregularities appeared in Ohio.

So, why all the fuss about Ohio?! HUH?! Why are all the lawyers there?

[ClintonTyree]

19. George W. Bush...............

is the best President this country has ever had. His fiscal, social, environmental and foreign policies are head and shoulders above any that this country has ever seen. He will lead this country to glory that we could never have dreamed of without him. He's a devoutly religious family man that believes in equal opportunity for all Americans; gay, lesbian, black, brown, yellow, red........they're all his main concern and wants to incorporate them all into the grand vision he has for this country.

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

Now if THAT'S NOT THE BIGGEST LIE told on this thread I don't know what could top it. We have a winner. No more calls, please.

[Left Is Write]

20. George Bush is a good president, he never took a drink

in his life, he kept his nose clean and earned excellent grades at Harvard, and he's probably the most upstanding Commander-in-Chief we have ever had in this great land of freedom.

[Modem Butterfly]

21. Somebody in Nigeria has an awful lot of money they need help with

And only you can offer assistance.

[icymist]

22. Jimi Hendrix still lives.

He's writing Bush an up-lifting songs to win the war!

[donheld]

23. STFU all of you

It's hard work coming up with color codes, duct tape and plastic sheeting. :eyes: