Look ma! I'm single, again...

[neoteric lefty]

Looks like my girl and I are no longer together. It has been going on for just shy of 2 yrs 3 months. Tension in the relationship has really been growing the last few weeks on both sides, and tonight it boiled over. We have been arguing and bickering a lot in the last few weeks and we finally realized that something was not right. This actually seemed to be an almost mutual break-up (as close to one as possible). Its gonna be really hard to talk to her and not call her 'hun' and such, but we'll get by. I cannot see having her out of my life. I love her to death, but we both understand that this relationship cannot work at this time in our lives. Now, I'm single again... how odd.

I have only been out of the game for a few years. I can't imagine how tough it is for older folks (hey, I'm still in college. Most of you are 'older folks' to me :)) who end decades-long reltionships and are all of a sudden thrown back into the "single" world.

[tcfrogs]

1. My sympathy, friend

And, I'm sure you've heard this, but you're WAY WAY WAY young enough to find someone else. Me, I'm single again too, after being with the same woman for almost 9 years. And I'm 34, and SO optimistic about the future.

Cheer up, things will improve!

[neoteric lefty]

3. im not really down, so much as I

am a little lost. This needed to happen sooner or later. We both understood that. I just hope we can create a lasting friendship. That would make it all worthwhile

[yellowdogintexas]

4. you can create that lasting friendship if both of you really want to

I have done this and it makes for a really strong friendship

[illflem]

2. The older you get and the longer you've been in relationships

the more you realize how easy it is to get along without one.

[mike_c]

5. "all of a sudden thrown back into the "single" world...."

That would be me. Forty-nine years old and I spent the day helping the folks who showed up to begin moving my ex-wife's stuff out. The settlement could be worse, I suppose, but I'll be sleeping on a Thermorest on the floor tonight....

on edit: what illflem said....

[politicat]

6. hint: give each other space for a few weeks so you can let the grief and

frustration with each other subside so you CAN build a friendship. If you keep in each other's hair right now, you will most likely just keep opening the wounds and especially bring guilt into the picture... what could I have done better, sooner?

Take some time off from each other - and don't try to date in that time. It will be rebound and will smack you both in the face. Jealousy after a breakup is ugly.

Pcat (who has done this a few times.)

[mdmc]

7. hang in there , chief!

:dem:

[Guaranteed]

8. You sound happy.

That's a good thing, I suppose. :)

It might not have fully hit you yet, though...sometimes there's a delayed reaction with these kinds of things. You're still in the "it can be patched up if I want it to be" mindset, probably.

[PittPoliSci]

9. i know how you feel man

i got dumped a few months back, it's actually quite refreshing after the initial blow to your ego.

[TransitJohn]

10. My only advice

I look at marriage like I look at the chicken pox. I've had it once, and I shouldn't get it again. (c) John Morgan