"Be prepared. Jesus is Coming" on the back of a church van

[sbj405]

So exactly how should one prepare? Duct tape, plastic sheeting, supplies of food? :shrug:

[notadmblnd]

1. do they make van size condoms?

I know thats not nice but I couldn't help it

[Kindigger]

4. Thanks I needed that

:D :cry: :headbang:

[da_chimperor]

2. Lots of vodka and even more cigarettes

Did I mention cigarettes? :shrug:

[gorbal]

3. Smelling salts

Plus some parsley, sage rosemary and thyme, or was that gold, and frankincense and myrrh?

[Magrittes Pipe]

5. Jesus' sex life is none of my business.

I wish him the best.

[The Backlash Cometh]

6. It's beginning to remind me of one of my favorite shows from X-Files

I'm a Christian, so I'm not being nasty, just wondering about the following. In the X-Files, the devil came back to this town in the form of a librarian for a high school, I believe. One by one, the kids were mysteriously killed. As the plot develops, you realize that the parents of the children belonged to a satan worshipping cult, and they had become so complacent in life, that they had forgotten to provide sacrifices for the devil. That's why the devil came back to take care of the situation.

Now, apply that plot to the Christian world. As a Christian, I don't think, I KNOW that right-wing Christians are not following Christ's teachings. So if God came back to pay them a visit, what would he do? Hopefully just take them away -- as in the Rapture. As long as the world remained the same without damage to the environment and another 1000 years (really, just an eyelash on the face of biblical time) of planetary M status, then we can pool our resources and look elsewhere to continue our human existence.

[UrbScotty]

7. Praying the Hail Ronald will help you prepare.

In nomine Poppy, et Dubya, et Spirotu Agnew. Amen.

Hail, Ronald, Full of Greed,
Caspar Weinberger is with thee.
Overrated art thou among Presidents, and
Overrated is the Son of Thy Vice President, Dubya.
Holy Ronald, Father of the GOP,
Help us pay for your sinning,
Now and at the hour Dubya leaves office. Amen.

[Historic NY]

8. Thats nothing I pass "GOD" all the time he drives 18 wheelers......

GOD, guaranteed overnight delivery. I usually point it out to people.

[shesemsmom]

9. I don't know

but I am sure that the religious right will be surprised by what he has to say about *hrub when he gets here, I can't wait to here that interview

[The Zanti Regent]

10. If Jesus comes back, the first two people to attack him will be...

...FALLWELL AND ROBERTSON!